The Sun Shines on Us All Without Partiality

"This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up . You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

Matthew 5:38‭-‬48 MSG

I have always loved this scripture!

It is also translated as, "God makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."

I love it because I dont see myself as someone who deserves any gifts or blessings from God...but I am humbled and so very grateful that it delights Him to do so!

I have to admit that I also enjoy seeing the self-righteous and self-proclaimed "saints" humbled when God chooses to bless and honor a filthy "sinner" right along side themselves.

The truth is that God is active in ALL of our lives whether we believe in Him and acknowledge Him or not. And if it is Gods desire to bless the "wicked" or the unbeliever then that is what He will do. Being that He IS God I suppose that He can "give his best" to whomever He chooses to without conferring with us!

God, being our example, is telling us...no, COMMANDING us to do likewise.

Don't just extend love, forgiveness and grace to the lovable, but also offer it freely to those who are ignored and outcast as well.

We so often act like children in the way we respond to the implemantation of justice in our own little worlds.

My kids are experts at identifying  injustices around them and seem to be constantly declaring how "unfair" things are!

Furthermore, in certain circumstances they want to know "why are you rewarding ALL of the US together?" when they conclude that they are the only ones who are acting like little "angels". 

Similarly as adults and as "Christians" we also want an explanation as to why God so often rewards the "sinner" right along with the saint?

Our respond, "God, that isn't fair!"

And His response to us is as in the scripture above:

"Grow up!"

"Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you!"

The only thing that isn't fair is our somehow believing that we are entitled to or deserve anything at all that God decides to bestow on his children whether it be His grace, love or forgiveness.

We do ourselves (and others) a huge disservice when we make ourselves the judge of who is worthy of those gifts.

When we fall into that trap we need humbling.

And God humbles us by blessing all of our lives in the manor of grace, not merit.

Swallowed by Grace

Jonah was furious. He lost his temper. He yelled at God , “God ! I knew it—when I was back home, I knew this was going to happen! That’s why I ran off to Tarshish! I knew you were sheer grace and mercy, not easily angered, rich in love, and ready at the drop of a hat to turn your plans of punishment into a program of forgiveness!

“So, God , if you won’t kill them, kill me! I’m better off dead!”

Jonah 4:1‭-‬3 MSG

The book of Jonah is not just a story about a whale as we were so regularly taught about as children in Sunday school. Furthermore, the story's underlying message of obedience to God is simply a sidebar.

The real message of Jonah is Gods incredible grace! Additionally, it is a question of how we will choose to response when God lavishes that grace upon those that we consider undeserving. 

For the uninitiated, Jonah was told by God to go to the rebellious, sinful city of Nineveh and warn them of Gods coming judgment and wrath. As God so often does He was extending a last ditch effort of grace and delaying punishment to give His creation another chance to change their "wicked" ways.

Jonah knowing full well that God would forgive them if the city repented and because he felt they didn't deserve such grace, ran in the other direction.

The story of Jonah is very similar to the parable Jesus told about the prodigal son. In that story, the faithful brother of the prodigal son was dismayed and angered that his father so quickly and readily forgave and restored the rebellious son who had left the family and squandered his inheritance on "sex, drugs and Rock n' Roll".

He wasn't able to celebtrate that his brother had humbly returned and was restored to the family, he could only focuse on the unfulfilled justice and punishment.

It is a powerful and humbling message of the lengths God will go to get our attention and restore relationship with us. Even when we have done nothing to deserve it.

Much like the account of the prodigal son, the narrative of Jonah is a warning to us as believers/Christians to be merciful. To not be so consumed by justice or by what we believe to be the right way to handle such situations and "sinners".

The tale of Jonah is a lesson in extending grace, mercy and understanding. To see the potential in people instead of focusing solely on their flaws.

God sees that potential in all his creation. He understands the obstacles, the deception and the temptations that get us ensnared. He is slow to anger and quick in love! He knows that ultimately it is love and grace that leads people to him, not a message of judgement, punishment and damnation.

So often we want to see a bit of the latter. We want to see justice, rules and law prevail. We want to see "evil-doers" sweat a little bit and pay their dues for crimes committed and wrong done.

That is exactly what Jonah wanted to see, it is also what the "good" brother of the prodigal son wanted as well.

Jonah lashes out at God in anger spewing bitterly "I knew this was going to happen! I knew you were sheer grace and mercy, not easily angered, rich in love, and ready at the drop of a hat to turn your plans of punishment into a program of forgiveness!"

It seems a ridiculous accusation to make of God, "hey God, you love too much! You forgive too much! Don't forget about the laws, commands and justice!"

But I see Christians who do the same thing and delve out their own interpretations of justice all too often! "Hey, we are extending too much grace to these people! We need them to obey the laws, we need them to be truly sorrowful for their actions!"

Just like Jonah we believe that God is too easy on people. Too quick to forgive and too eager to gather them in his arms.

But if we are honest isn't that what He has already done for us? He has looked past our self-righteousness, our pride, our graceless hearts and our lack of compassion and He has forgiven us.

Look at the world around us and therevis much to judge, much to frown at and so much to be sorrowful for.

But there is even a greater lack of love, grace, mercy, understanding and compassion in our world!

The Bible says, "where sin increased, grace increased all the more."

We are conduits of Gods grace and love, but we also have the ability to selfishly hinder it!

Choose grace, empathy and love! The attributes of God!

King of Pain

I know this revelation is probably sacrilegious, and might be a bit controversial but after recounting the life of King David I have concluded that I don't like the guy very much!

Which is crazy because as a kid growing up in the church he is the hero of all heroes! If little David can slay the great Goliath, then surely God can turn any regular kid like me with a great imagination into some sort of a superhero!

As a young man David surely had a "heart after God", but as is the case throughout history, power corrupts even the best of us.

Maybe you know the scandalous and disgraceful stories of David's life already.

How King David instigated an affair with a married woman whose husband was off to war and consequently got her pregnant.  In desperation he then orchestrated an elebrate plan to have her husband killed in battle in a way that could never be traced back to him.

Or perhaps you already know how God vetoed David's plan to build God a temple because in Gods eyes David had shed too much blood and was constantly at war during his reign as King.

God seemed to be saying what I would soon come to realize about David, "I love you, but you have too much baggage and their is too much trouble surrounding your life for me to allow this."

Christians often use the sins of David as an example of how God can still use us, bless us and forgive us despite our worst.

And that is great! I am humbled by Gods incredible grace and love that I criminally don't deserve. I can't even wrap my head around the message of grace and how God chooses to still love and bless me despite my only giving him heartbreak in return.

But it doesn't mean I have to like David do I?

Through David's life there are moments of shameful pride, vengeful anger and dishonorable actions. Yet David always seemed to regain his footing and find redemption before God, however, he so often left a wake of destroyed lives and injured people behind him.

That is what is so repulsive at times about King David. The fact that he is restored time and again despite his missteps, yet people seem to be the collateral damage of his actions. So often he moves on seemingly unscathed while people are left behind to mend their own wounds.

The story that really made my stomach turn and quickly sour on David was this.

David had a son named Amnon that had an unhealthy infatuation with his half-sister Tamar.  Much like his father, Amnon also orchestrated a situation in which he could have a woman that he wanted. It was horrible and it was evil what he did to that poor girl! Most everyone was angry, scandalized and wanted justice. Yet although scripture says that David was enraged he still chose not to discipline his Son. In fact, David continued to basically spoil this son because it was his first born, the son he loved!

David had the chance to do the right thing but He didn't. So often this is David's plight, it is his decision-making. Often others suffer and at times lose their lives because of David's poor and often selfish decisions.

King David might be a great example to us of Gods great grace and unending forgiveness to the contrite in heart. However, I would argue that he is not a great example of a father or a man!

None of us is perfect. But what I learn from the life of David is that I want to be a better father, leader, husband and person. If that is what he inspires in us than the life story of David is able to be redeemed in some aspects, but I am not sure he warrants being held as some hero of the faith unless we are willing to balance those stories with some of the terrible truths about his life.

All this to say that perhaps no one should be considered a "hero" of the faith. The real hero in the Bible is Gods grace, love forgiveness and redeption poured out and offered to "bad" people.

That is the good news of the Bible!

Put on your best self!

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves."

Matthew 5:43-47 Message Version

When was the last time someone or some situation challenged you in such a way that it brought out the best in you?

Surely is wasn't something or someone that really tested you or your patience!

It is hardly our best selves that make an appearance when we get cut off as we are driving or when someone challenges our ideas, beliefs or perhaps our stance on a certain subject and certainly not when a co-worker throws us under the bus to our boss.

Patience tested!

Anger present!

Revenge options brewing!

Challenging situations, or flat-out being wronged, rarely, if not never brings out the good in us does it? Let alone could we ever imagine it ever positively impacting our day or lives.

Yet Jesus does indeed proclaim that when we are challenged, angered and feeling vengeful, that we should take that moment to retreat to a quite place for some mediatation and prayer. Find the God of peace before you respond in a way that will be regretful and will only leave us feeling empty instead of justified. This place, Jesus encourages, is where we can find our "true selves".

Jesus reveals that our "enemies" and our confrontations with them can actually be an opportunity to challenge, test and mold us into something and someone better.

Such trials can either sour us, break us or distort us or it can cause us to learn to respond better and allow our character to bloom!

Whether we want it or not, there are opportunities for this to be on display in our lives everyday. In fact, there are stirring examples in front of our faces right now on our social media feeds.

I am encouraged by humanity once again when I see the peaceful displays of "The Kindness" and "No Hate" marches that are taking place across the Country. They are being held in response to some gatherings of racist and hate groups and are absolutely dwarfing them to the point that those groups simply pack up and leave defeated.

And you can't help but to be moved and inspired to see so many people reaching out, working together and risking their very lives for those of strangers in the wake of Hurricane Harveys destruction. The Nation is coming together in prayer, manpower and resources to literally rescue victims of this terrible storm!

It is tangible evidence that bad can be turned into good, because that is how God operates. He is in the business of restoring dreams, families, friendships, lives, loves, jobs and communities. He finds the broken, the discarded and the forgotten and gives it new life.

It is far too easy to stay focused on the negative, the insurmountable circumstances, the bad news all around us and thus drown in it. However, we have options. We can instead allow it to bring out something good in us! We can look for the opportunity to rewrite the narrative, the story and the headlines!

Normal everyday people like you and me are doing just that all around us!

God is always at work editing a better story!

We too have the opportunity to be a part of what God is doing!

The Gift

The Bible. Gods Word. Gods gift to humanity. His instruction, His law, His inspiration to us. Full of life, hope and "Good News" and yet also head scratching, pulling your hair out frustration!

I have heard it said many times by the well-meaning, "I just want to find a church that teaches the Bible!".

If only it was as simple as that!

"Just teach the Bible!" They say?

That is great, but whose Bible do we teach and preach? Whose interpretations of those words written down so long ago within a whole different world and culture do we trust?

Words interpreted throughout the ages with thousands of different voices, theologies, teachings and beliefs woven into those interpretations.

Thousands of different churches, beliefs and even religions have been built upon this ONE book.

So, yeah it is not as simple as it sounds to say "just preach the Bible!"

For one thing it is a book that sadly throughout the years excluded the female voice in teaching, interpreting, molding or even writing about the Bible and the faith. Tragically fifty percent of the human population was silenced from having a voice and bringing their own incredible perspectives of the mystery of God and faith!

We are less for it to be sure!

I have recently discovered another, more modern twist in understanding (perhaps misunderstanding) our study of the Bible.

As I have found myself within the busyness of work and life and family, I have found myself with less and less time to sit down and read the Bible to be honest.

My solution has been listening to the audio version of Eugene Peterson's The Message Bible while driving my 20 minute commute to and from my work.

I have found it interesting and enlightening to listen to the Bible as opposed to just reading it.

One of the reasons for this is that consciously or not the speaker has his own personal way of interpreting how and where to passionately place his inflections on certain words within the passages. Subsequently many stories, parables and verses have taken on a whole new meaning by the simple thoughtful or dramtic pause within a sentence, or perhaps even in raising and lowering of the volume of his voice.

You begin to see how easily (and dangerously) the incredible words of God can be minipulated and crafted to say what someone wants them to say.

We can all find our own truths in the Bible if we look hard enough and piece it together just right. Obviously history has been littered with people doing just that as they justified their own horrendous atrocities with the backing of scripture.

The Bible...I believe to be all truth, but the question is whose truth?

Sometimes we can even miss the truth or fail to see it wether intentionally or by deception or mistake.

Gods word is a lifetime study in questioning, doubting, believing and in the end sometimes just trusting and hoping that through it all we at least get the gist, the important stuff right.

If you find yourself studying the Bible and it doesn't produce for you incredible wonder, troubling questions and even gnawing doubt then you are not "studying" the Bible.

"Just give me the Bible!"

And then give us wisdom to sift through the different voices and the filters of our own experiences to find inspiration and hope!

Getting in our own way

"If you’re brought up Jewish, don’t assume that you can lean back in the arms of your religion and take it easy, feeling smug because you’re an insider to God’s revelation.. While you are guiding others, who is going to guide you? You can get by with almost anything if you front it with eloquent talk about God and his law. The line from Scripture, “It’s because of you Jews that the outsiders are down on God,” shows it’s an old problem that isn’t going to go away."

Romans 2:17‭-‬24 The Message

We see this passage represented so often in our world today. Unfortunately, as children of the King (God) we become unjustified in our arrogance and pride much like a spoiled child. Instead of seeing "outsiders" or "sinners" as our siblings, children of the same King and also worthy of a place of royalty in this life, we see them instead as peasants to be trampled on, taken advantage of and looked down upon.

Sadly we don't look at another persons situation, "valley in life" or plight and say to ourselves "there but for the grace of God go I". Instead we choose to see a person who is selfishly squandering their inheritance.

We see our brother or sister reaping exactly what they deserve. As we misguidedly delve out our own perverted justice while sadly withholding sympathy, empathy and grace. 

And so often we smirk in judgement.

Jesus tells the story of the prodigal son who takes his share of his fathers inheritance and selfishly squanders it all. Yet a forgotten character in this parable is the "good son". I think he is the example to us and point of the story to be honest. So often we are that loyal son who stayed behind and obeyed his father but failed to see the joy, grace and mercy in his fathers restoring his "backslidden" son who eventually finds his way home again broken and humiliated.

The good son doesn't find his fathers forgiveness, grace and mercy fair or just, and in the same way we ourselves are often dismayed that God could forgive so freely, so blindly and so extravegently to those who have squandered their own gifts, blessings and lives so selfishly.

"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

A quote often attributed to Gandhi, although it is disputed that he actually ever said it. However, many people have thought or voiced a similar refrain upon having bad, abusive and unChristlike interactions and experiences with so-called Christians. 

Believers in Jesus are meant to be Gods representatives to everyone around us of His incredible grace, mercy, love and forgiveness! The scriptures say that God "didn't send Jesus into the world to judge or condemn it, but to save and restore it". Similarly God doesn't send us to judge but to extend Jesus' controversial message of love, forgiveness and grace to the world.

If the world is "down on God" as the above passage says then perhaps we need to take inventory of our own lives and interactions with others. We are too quick to put the blame of the plight of the world on Liberals, the media or Hollywood or a million other places, but we don't over ever stop to think it could have something to do with us.

If the world is failing and we hold the answers to the test, then whose fault is it really?

"It's because of you (Christians) that the outsiders are down on God"

Some heavy stuff to ponder!

Too much Bible, not enough God!

“You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me !  And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.

John 5:39‭-‬40 MSG

Could you ever imagine that Jesus would warn us about having our faces in our Bibles or our bottoms in the church pews?
  
The truth is that it can be dangerous if our spiritual acts merely become a part of our daily religious routine.

Years ago I spent so much of my time in the church and in the Bible. My commitment was sincere and for better and sometimes for worse it consumed my life.

I was working with the youth of the church and my desire at the time was to make "full-time" ministry my career, to make it my life's work. But circumstances and reality forced me to seek secondary employement out in the "scary/dangerous" world. It was not the glorious, saintly job or future I had envisioned for myself. Actually I viewed this as a demotion, a step backwards, a lose and a waste of my time to be doing mundane work when God had better things for me to do in the ministry.

But as I began to work outside the church and socialize outside of the safety of it's "four walls" and the security of the church I realized that this is actually where Jesus was! I wasn't living my life to its fullest or allowing my life to be intertwined with others when it was limited to just those within the church.

My face was in the Bible, my bottom was in the pew but I was missing out on opportunities to see Jesus at work in the world. "Here I am, standing right before you", but you are overlooking me because your head is in the clouds, or the Bible or church, Jesus seemed to be saying to me.

This reminds me of when Jesus talked about when we are helping quench the thirst of the thirsty, giving food to the hungry, clothing the naked, giving a bed to the homeless, and visiting the sick and imprisoned, that "Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me".

It also fits in with a lyric from the band King's X that went:

"I had to run,
I had to hide,
In the world outside.
A better chance,
Out there
If God is everywhere"

If you want to see God at work in the world around you then He is out there to be found in the eyes of the hurting, the hungry and the homeless. He is present in your interactions with co-workers and He is there in the midst of your social interactions within the "four walls" wether it be a church, a restaurant, a bar or a living room.

Don't let your religion become religious, don't let your faith become a part of your routine. If it is alive and real, then take it with you wherever you go! And for goodness sake, Go! Get outside of everything that is comfortable and safe to you and experience life.

You will find God there!

Gods questionable math

“He replied to the one speaking for the rest, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair. We agreed on the wage of a dollar, didn’t we? So take it and go. I decided to give to the one who came last the same as you. Can’t I do what I want with my own money? Are you going to get stingy because I am generous?’

“Here it is again, the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first.”

Matthew 20:13‭-‬16 MSG

Here Jesus tells a parable representing Gods grace, forgiveness and love in which labourers who are hired at different times throughout the day that all end up getting paid equally at the end of that day. The ones who have faithfully put in a full days work are obviously upset because the others who have only toiled for a couple hours end up getting paid equally to them.

Gods math is different.

Gods grace changes the arithmetic.

Grace messes with our rules and our interpretations of what fairness should look like.

"Are you going to be stingy because I am generous?" Or it could also say "gracious" here.

This is a warning to us not to be stingy in offering love, friendship, forgiveness and grace by our own calculations and measurements of what we believe someone deserves.

And if we are honest with ourselves than we can admit to being stingy. We can and do withhold love or forgiveness to help balance out what we perceive to be good justice.

So often we will compare our spiritual health, growth and well-being to others of our choosing. Which is convenient and serves the purpose of making us feel good about ourselves. We tally up all of our spiritual accomplishments and put together a glowing resume and then sit back feeling pretty pleased with ourselves.

However, God views us all on equal ground as his children, with no child being better than another. Borrowing a scripture passage from my last post the Apostle Paul says that "we are all in the same boat".

All of our goodness or righteousness is mere trash compared to Gods. Because God pours out love, grace and forgiveness without strings attached, without any prerequisite on our part.

Very often grace looks unfair, or fair depending on how you look at it.

In the end we all get rewarded equally and receive the same measure of Gods love, grace and forgiveness.

That is perfect math! 

Sheep in wolves clothes

"Basically, all of us start out in identical conditions...we all start out as sinners. Scripture leaves no doubt about it: There’s nobody living right, not even one...whatever is written in these Scriptures is not what God says about others but to us to whom these Scriptures were addressed in the first place!...We’re sinners, every one of us, in the same sinking boat with everybody else. Our involvement with God’s revelation doesn’t put us right with God. What it does is force us to face our complicity in everyone else’s sin."

Romans 3:9‭-‬20 MSG (edited for length)

So good!

In fact the most impactful verse I have encountered yet in my quest to read through the Bible this year!

This scripture is it!

This verse should hit us right upside our self-righteous heads and wreck all of our Holier than thou thinking and living! Hopefully it does what is intended and wakes us up to reality. All of us are simply people in need of Grace and forgiveness!

Currently we reside in a very volatile, fragile world. Our society is in constant danger of erupting into the chaos of flames like a lit match by a tinderpile. One single accusing pointed finger or word spoken poisoned by anger instead of grace and the spark is ignited, a wildfire looms.

"Whatever is written in these Scriptures is not what God says about others but to us"

Too often I hear Bible scriptures used like weapons against certain people or groups of people. Scriptures delicatley and purposely pick out to expose someones wrongs and thus it is used to "instruct" them in how one person believes God intends for another person to live. Perhaps we see someone that we judge to be living in sin, or simply our interpretations of sin and we trot out a list of verses to convict them, correct them and instruct them.

Effective? Hardly! Loving and compassionate? Try cold and calculated!

When you look at Scripture it is important to look at the audience the instruction or the rebukes were intended for.

Some of Jesus' harshest words, criticisms and judgements were directed directly at the religious leaders, the "insiders", the church. And some of His most inspiring examples and words of grace, comfort and forgiveness were saved for the "wretched" world all around him. Inexplicably to the religious leadership of the time, the tax collectors, prostitutes and sinners were the recipients of Jesus' patience, compassion, understanding and encouragement. Jesus viewed them like sheep without a Shepherd, like orphaned children without parents. The religious elite however, are the ones God saw more  as wolves in sheep's clothing. Powerful metaphors of the way God often views the relationship between the churched and the "outside world".

The often times unforgiving, unmerciful and yet in the strictest sense, law abiding religious leaders or zealots caught the brunt of Jesus ire. "You weigh people down with heavy burdens that you yourselves are unwilling to carry!" Was Jesus' charge against them.

So often when I read Biblical warnings of impending judgement and destruction I view it as the church being the recipients and not the "sinners" or outside world. Very often that assessment is true.

I believe God views the whole thing like we the church should know better. Not only do we know more or less morally what we are to do but we also know better in the sense that we have been "lost" too. We should be even more merciful, sympathetic and empathetic to those who may be struggling because we have been there too. We should recall what our struggle was like and extend the same grace that we so undeservingly received.

As a Christian I am no better than anyone else. Like this scripture states, "we are all in the same boat", or hand basket as they say.

First and foremost when we read the Holy scriptures we must remember that it is speaking to us the reader. Yet what we turn around and do is take what we are reading and apply it to other people,  to other groups. We see it speaking about our opponents or our enemies and having nothung to do with ourselves. However, if we are not reading it, digesting it and then applying it to our own lives first then we are doing it wrong. If we are not allowing Gods words to challenge us and allowing it to make us better people but are only reading it and using it to challenge, even oppose other people, then we are being hypocritical and misguided.

I hear it thrown around a lot that we are to "love the sinner but hate the sin". I have yet to find the verse that says this specifically. Why are we often so much more concerned about another person's sin than our own? In fact, many times we hate someone else's sin more then we do our own sins. We have that backwards. We must confront our own struggles and our own garbage first. Then when we have been honest with ourselves, it will give us understanding of where other people are at. Thus we can be compassionate and merciful towards them, their sins and their struggles. It is so much more effective and meaningful because we then "get it", we have been there in the depths as well and we have fought our way out too.

"We are all in the same boat."

Yet, because of their own misguided hatred of someone else's sin many people pour their energy and passions into combating or eradicating that particular sin from society. However, we can not legislate someone's morality, but we can reach a persons heart!

With that in mind there are people who utilize that same energy and passion that others do in "combating sin" to focus instead on the person. With empathy and understanding for that person they are able to love them, not overwhelm them. A more effective approach wouldn't you agree? A more compassionate and loving approach as well!

"Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn’t so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you’ve done."

Romans 2:1‭-‬2 MSG

In these times when this world appears to be so divided and everyone wants to blame everyone else, it is important to remember that we are all complicit "in everyone else's sin".

Selfishness that benefits me

As Abraham drew near to Egypt, he said to his wife, Sarai, “Look. We both know that you’re a beautiful woman. When the Egyptians see you they’re going to say, ‘Aha! That’s his wife!’ and kill me...Do me a favor: tell them you’re my sister. Because of you, they’ll welcome me and let me live.” When Abram arrived in Egypt, the Egyptians took one look and saw that his wife was stunningly beautiful...She was taken to live with Pharaoh. Because of her, Abram got along very well: he accumulated sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, men and women servants, and camels.

Genesis 12:10‭-‬17 MSG

There is so much happening here in this story!

Perhaps overwhelmed by the fears and the potential dangers of being in a new city,  Abraham fabricates a story to tell his new neighbors that His wife is actually his sister. Thus, Sarai being as beautiful as she is, is brought to the palace to live with Pharaoh.

Abraham willingly traded the dignity of his marriage (furthermore the dignity of his wife), possibly placing his wife in harms way and put his very marriage in jeopardy for the sake of his own safety, wealth, comfort and positive social status.

He selfishly used Sarai in an act of self preservation and consequently he accumulated riches and fame in return.

Perhaps he truly did this out of fear and survival in the very beginning, however as the wealth started pouring in it must have gotten easier for him to sleep at night. As time went on he could justify his lie and the compromising of his principles when surrounded by riches and comfort. When things are going well it makes it easier to tune out the nagging voice of our conscience.

And in a moment of self-evaluation (as I judge Abraham while looking down my nose at him) I have to be honest with myself and admit that at times I too have made concessions to my morals. That I have found ways to justify some of my actions and decisions that benefit me in a positive way. Especially when, like Abraham that means being safe, comfortable and accepted in the world that surrounds you.

Somehow through it all Abraham still becomes a "hero of the Faith", an iconic figure.

The actions of our predecessors in the faith are often so unspeakably despicable and selfish, yet if we are going to be honest with ourselves the same terms could be used to describe some of our "best moments" as well.

However awful and appalling the behavior, they are still moments that God somehow views as forgivable,  unfathomable as that may seem.

This is Grace! The undeserved favor of God!

Do you believe in Miracles?

“Abraham answered, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets to tell them the score. Let them listen to them.’

“‘I know, Father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but they’re not listening. If someone came back to them from the dead, they would change their ways.’“

Abraham replied, ‘If they won’t listen to Moses and the Prophets, they’re not going to be convinced by someone who rises from the dead.

Luke 16:29‭-‬31

Have you ever witnessed a miracle?

I am not talking about witnessing the birth of a child or an underdog sports team defying the odds to win a Championship, but a real miracle at the hands of the divine.

Or has God ever blessed you with a sign that undoubtedly proves of His  existance?

I have asked God for a sign plenty of times in my life (I think we all have). And I have pleaded for miracles or in the very least divine intervention at certain desperate moments.

When all else fails, "brake glass in case of emergancy" right?

Last year for instance I had a toothache causing me the most incredible pain I have ever felt. That day (along with taking WAY too many Ibuprofen) I begged God for a miracle.

And when my wife labored for over 24 hours with our first child, I desperately and helplessly gasped some of the most heartfelt, scared and real prayers I have ever prayed.

When sickness or impending death makes an unwelcome visit in the lives of our friends or family members prayers are offered up, often even by the most doubtful and faithless person.

The closest thing to a miracle or a glimpse of the divine I have ever experienced was in witnessing the slow, and yet peaceful and blessed  passing of my Grandfather, Edward Reeves. The doors between the worlds were being opened to allow my Grandfather in and I  felt a draft of its glory!

God is most often felt in our most broken, scared and helpless moments!

Now I have seen many answered prayers, although the skeptic within me will counter that things just broke the right way.

And people I know and trust claim they were healed of sickness and disease However, the added presents of medicine, doctor's and even hope plays a role in recovery thus clouding the results, so I don't always know how to respond to such claims.

I have also witnessed some weird things in Church services that some would call miracles, that merely left me scratching my head more perplexed than before.

I have heard people pray in unexplainable and mysterious languages not their own.

And strangers have approached me with wisdom into personal matters that they should have no way of knowing unless God whispered it to them himself.

I have witnessed healings or were they hoaxes?

I have seen people fall down involuntarily under the weight of Gods presences or perhaps they simply locked their knees.

All of these crazy, unexplained and often beautiful experiences I have observed or had myself, but no, I cannot say without a shadow of a doubt that it was God. Neither can I claim that I have witnessed a verified miracle or seen an undeniable sign of His handiwork.

We are evolved! We have science!

We can explain and reason away why certain incredible  things may have happened and we can discover the roots to all mysteries!

We can throw a bucket full of doubt on the fire of the miraculous and simply discount the acts of the supernatural. Like the above scripture says, even if God were to raise the dead we would find a reasonable explanation that excludes the hand of the divine.

We ask God for a sign of His existence and yet He is actively involved and intervening in our lives everyday, yet we fail to see or acknowledge it. Sadly the miracles that surround our lives daily become mundane. We allow the excitement of our first  love grow stale, we let sunsets fade without admiring its amazing beauty and we let the warm smiles and greetings from strangers go unnoticed.

My wife and I had the most incredible group of people come hang out at our house every week a few years ago. We called ourselves the Misfits because none of us really fit into the typical church setting. We had dinner,  laughed and cried together. But the highlight of every week was when we went around the circle challenging each other to name a place where we had seen God active in our life that  previous week. It forced us to be aware of God and look for him in even the most mundane moments. And sometimes we had to admit that we felt Gods absence, failing to recall Him in our lives at all.

When you make it a point to actively look for God there is a very real chance you will find Him. Maybe not in a measurable or tangible way, however often times in a small sign like a tatered relationship mended or new hope springing forth watered by encouragement from a friend. Sure, instances that can easily be explained away if you wish to, or perhaps it really was God.

Because God is there! And He is more concerned with our well-being, our day-to-day lives and our sh-- than we are!

The weight of responsibility on the irresponsible.

God spoke:

“Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, And, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.” God created human beings; he created them godlike, Reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible.”

Genesis 1:26‭-‬28 MMSG

The most terrifying thing in the world is raising children!

The hard part is not just that they are so often helpless, messy, misguided and dangerously putting themselves in harms way on a consistent basis. The difficulty is knowing that every interaction with them, every time you haphazardly scream a correction, every time you forget to pick them up from school, every time you unknowingly give more attention to one over the other, is slowly molding an adult person.

In moments of clarity I shiver in fear that I am responsible for four future adults!

God have mercy on them!

And He does! And gracefully His mercy extends to me as well!

So outnumber, my wife and I often look at each other and say jokingly "what were we thinking?" Obviously we wouldn't trade one of them in. There are those rare moments when sunlight does break through the clouds and one of them will catch you by surprise and gift you with a hug, a handmade card of affection or perhaps just fifteen extra minutes of sleep. And that somehow makes it all worth it.

Having a child and becoming a parent means becoming responsible, whether you like it or not.

In the same vain God created us to be responsible for this earth, for everything in it! Responsible not only in how well we combat global warming or how great we are at separating our garbage into recyclables and actual trash, but we are accountable with how we interact with humanity as well.

Life is about relationships, about people and how we cultivate and care for those relationships and those people. The greatest and yet often most difficult investments I have made in my life is in other people. The times you bite your tongue to refrain from speaking and simply listen, the times you break through your own discomfort and give a sympathetic hug to someone in need of one, those times that you do something for someone else which actually costs you something.

I have to be honest, this whole idea of having some piece of accountability in my relationships and friendships with other people makes me uncomfortable. It is so much easier to avoid people, draw the shades and take care of my own comforts and concerns. When it comes right down to it my greatest struggle is selfishness, because I love myself much more than anyone or anything else.

However, what if we looked at those around us, our family, friends, coworkers and casual acquaintances and weighed how much influence and impact we actually do have in their lives? As painful and uncomfortable it is, what if we invested more in them for no other reason than their betterment and not just our own? We cannot grasp how meaningful, how powerful that could be.

The world is a better place because of such people. I see them every so often and they inspire me! The people who buy a cup of coffee for the stranger behind them in line, the person who stops to casually chat with that "weird" neighbor that everyone else tries so hard to avoid, the person who answers the phone against all their better judgement when that one "draining" friend calls because they know no one else will.

The truth is we benefit for our "sacrifices", for our investments in the lives of others. We grow, we learn, we stretch ourselves beyond what we ever thought we could withstand and we thus become someone a little bit better.

God said “Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature". We reflect God, in the very least we present a very small glimpse of Him when we put other peoples needs before our own.

If you want to know if there is a God, if you want to feel his presences in your life again or if you have as much doubt as you do faith then invest yourself in relationships, friendships and in people in general. It is at the heart of what Jesus did. He spent his precious time hanging out with humanity, simply sharing life with people in the mundane everyday and turning it into sacred moments.

God gave us everything on this earth, and thus made us answerable for it all! We only do it justice when we offer it right back to Him,  admitting that we do a horrendous job with it. We need supernatural guidance just to keep this world turning, just like our children need us to keep them alive!

The Fall of Humanity (God as a negligent parent?)

Then God planted a garden in Eden. The Tree-of-Life was in the middle of the garden, also the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil.

God commanded the Man, “You can eat from any tree in the garden, except from the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil. Don’t eat from it. The moment you eat from that tree, you’re dead.”

Genesis 2:8-9 and 2:16‭-‬17 The Message

During his act the actor and comedian Zach Galifianakis, in a serious and reflective tone, says:

"I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it."

After a dramatic pause for affect he continues,

"and I like to murmur out to myself: 'Oh BULLS---!'

Some Christians might view such a statement as a slight, an insult or a subtle attack dripping in irreverence and sacrilege. However if we are going to be honest about the Bible, then we have to admit that there are so many cringe worthy moments that makes you want to put it down (or maybe throw it across the room in disgust) and simply walk away. It is honest and real and full of human beings acting out in all kinds of selfish, arrogant and disgusting ways.

We come to the story of a talking donkey or all of these adorable couples of the animal kingdom finding their way to the safety of a huge boat captained by a bearded "madman" and even if not audibly, we think to ourselves "no way! I am calling bulls--- on that!

It is okay! God understands and is compassionate and tolerant of our doubt, our questions and our flat out refusal to believe. It is a much healthier place to be, because it is honest, it is broken, it is messy and it is troublesome. 

And it didn't take me more than two chapters into the Bible to have one of these minor/major crisis of faith.

Forget the talking snake for a minute, honestly that is a discussion I could hardly care to have. 

A wise cracking snake you say? fine! No problem! I can reason with that somehow. 

What really rattled around in my brain for a few days was this whole "Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil" thing.

My question (perhaps "complaint" is a better word) is why is this "Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil" so accessible? Why is it not surrounded by thorns, or the fruit protected within some kind of coconut shell or better yet, the tree guarded by angels wielding swords with burning flames?

It is hard not to read Genesis 2 and not feel a bit of bitterness and distrust at God, feeling that we have been a part of some heartless experiment without our consent. That we are simply exhibit A in some kind of a sick test.

Who tests the legitamicy of their childrens love and obedience this way? This cannot be Gods intent can it? 

As a parent, or even if you are someone who is not, we all understand how easily children get their little hands into everything. You have seen childproof lids on cleaners and medicines right? These don't taste good! But for whatever reason leave it within the  reach of a child and they are trying everything within their power to get at what is inside and eat it!

Why the "Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil"?

Really all we can do is speculate, which only makes it more confounding and troubling.

I do believe that God gave his creation free will to choose for themselves whether to believe in Him or not, to have a relationship with Him and whether to love Him. He didn't create mindless drones but thoughtful, creative people able to think and act for themselves. He could have removed all obstacles, dangers and temptations but what would that make us? Would we be as beautiful, loving and forgiving, despite all of our fatal flaws?

We will never know for sure why God placed the "Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil" in the garden. Although I have my theories (weak as they are) and also my reservations and doubts, I have to trust that He had a good reason and that it somehow was for humanities best interests. Again we are only two chapters in, and it won't be the last time we question Gods intentions. 

Don't be afraid of calling "bulls---" on God, on faith and on the blessed words of the Bible. That is an honest, real faith. Remember that in their own ways so many heroes of the faith in the Bible had serious doubts, crisis of faith and wrestled with Gods plans, including Jesus himself.

Seeking truth and answers through gritted teeth (and sometimes curses), doubt and questioning only makes our faith sturdier, healthier and stronger.

So often in frustration I want to throw up my hands and yell "God, what are you doing?" You can call me naive, but I cling to the threads of faith that I have left hoping that this will all make sense one day. That God is working all things out for the good.

"When you set the table

And when you chose the scale

Did you write a riddle

That you knew they would fail?

Did you make them tremble

So they would tell the tale?

Did you push us when we fell?"

-David Bazan from the song "When we fell".

And so it begins!

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. -Genesis 1:1

It is what we all deep down yern for, to know the origins of life. To understand the great mysteries of how this universe was birthed and breathed in its first breaths. Throughout time all great thinkers have attempted to unlock these mysteries and likewise all religions have tried to explain it.

And here we find ourselves fortunate enough to have a book, the Bible, inspired by God himself that begins there, in the very beginning. In that place that wraps itself in all wonder and confusion and blessed secrets . The opportunity for the unexplained to be played out and the cloud of mystery to be lifted.

Or not.

Which is perfect really because like so much that follows it, most everything in the Bible is left to our imagination, interpretation and I hate to say it, faith.

How easy it would have been for God to clear this all up for humanity and explain it scientifically, literally and in-depth. To remove all doubt and prove once and for all His existence and His hand in ours. However, He never does and the Bible never does more than hint at an explanation. 

All we really know is that in the Beginning God was there. The rest we kinda have to trust Him on, which begs the question do we trust this God?

It is so frustrating because we are left to argue, wage war and divide religions and churches and families over the unknown instead of being awed by it and worshipping it.

We are left to fill in the blanks and explain the questions but as we do the answers become murkier.

The Christian church finds itself trying to prove the passages of the Bible, the creation story and even go as far as to defend God himself when He never did this for himself. Jesus had many chances to spell it all out for us but spoke in parables and let people infer for themselves who He really was.

Although it goes against everything in our "Google it" if you don't know it world, we need to allow space for the mysteries of God. We can't definitely prove the Biblical creation story and somehow God is okay with this because he never attempted to himself.

Could the answer be evolution? Okay!

Does it have something to do with the Big Bang? Fine!

Maybe intelligent design theory, old earth/ young earth creationism, or the countless other theories that weaves God and science together in the explanation of the universes creation? Great!

I am sorry, but I don't subscribe to any certain idea, theory or teaching on our humble beginnings. They are interesting, entertaining, thought provoking and fun to discuss and playfully argue about but I am not losing any sleep over it.

How about we let go of the fight, the impulse to try to prove all the truths that we only hold grains of sand in the way of answers on a vast seashore of questions. The argument, the "fight" and the lost sleep is really just a distraction from what is really important. We miss the meaningful things God wanted us to focus on by being obsessed with the things He really didn't feel was important enough to fill the Bible with.

That is what this journey is about...embracing the doubt and finding the truth. Discovering the things that really matter to God.

So whether you believe in God but especially if you don't, I encourage you to follow this blog this year. Through all the BS that we filter our interpretations of who God is through, my hope is that we will get true glimpses of who God really is. And we might just get lucky enough to find Him!

Who really knows God?

It is the New Year, time for resolutions, facing our demons and being honest about our "stuff". 

So in that vein of thought, I admit that one of my biggest faults is being a judgmental, hypocritical human being! I mean, I readily admit that I am a pretty good judge of people. For example, I know a person that I am going to like right away and likewise I can tell the person who I am going to loathe in just the first few minutes of meeting them.

That is the problem I guess.

I mean I have a lot of grace and empathy for people I do like, for people who are like me and who think similarly to me, however, those other despicable, ignorant people on the other hand, Aaugh!

Which makes liking or even tolerating people difficult especially during this past election season, or when having a discourse on political or social issues which are dear to my heart when they are on the opposite side of the discussion from me.

While we are on the subject, social media is evil right? It brings out the vile disgustingness in us in the very least!

Judging..we all do it right? We all quickly make our assumptions about people without really getting to know them or their story. It isn't always fair and it isn't always right but it is like a natural instinct to quickly label people and place them in their appropriate containers.

Sure, we need to be decerning in our interactions with people and take appropriate caution with people, but there is a difference between that and in unfairly making assumptions about them.

I know I need to be careful in assuming that because someone was raised a certain way, with certain beliefs, and ideals, that I know them. Also, that I can make conclusions about them and understand what and why they do what they do.

I see this happen when it comes to a persons faith and their convictions. Just because someones belief in God has a certian label or name we think we know them and their deeply personal, sacred faith.

My faith in God and my understanding how it might work will always be different from yours because of my life, faith and church experiences. This is important to remember, but scary for people of faith to implement.

We all see the truths of life and thus our faith through the lenses of our lifes experiences. Even within my Christian faith, men and women, and different cultures and even regions of our Country for that matter interpret scripture differently according to their lifes experiences.

As a parent this is something that I must consciously consider. My children and especially my daughters will associate the  charactoristics  of God in the way I have conveyed love, security and self-esteem into them.

And I shake in fear at the thought? God have mercy!

Just because someone was raised in a church, temple or synagage or a "traditional Christian home" sadly doesn't mean that they saw or experienced the true love and grace of God. We can grow up in a Church or Christian home and unfortunately not know God at all, or perhaps we know a very distorted, or God forbid, morbid version of Him.

Unfortunately, people are often offered a very confusing model of faith. It isn't a firm foundation after all, but like a home improperly built or falling apart it must be torn down to its very foundation. Then after the foundation is found secure we can begin building solid walls, rooms and roof.

That is what I am constantly trying to do in my life and that of my family, build our faith well!

I believe that God will have so much understanding and Grace for His children. He knows us, knows our hearts and knows our histories. And who amongst us gets it right?

A God whom we could understand exhaustively, and whose revelation of Himself confronted us with no mysteries whatsoever, would be a God in man's image, and therefore an imaginary God, not the God of the Bible at all.

-J.I. Packer

Most Everything Turns to Sh!t...(Rejoice, Rejoice, Rejoice!)

I had one of those mornings with the kids today. They seemed to be conspiring against me as we couldn't find a matching pair of shoes, jackets grew legs and walked away and apparently the breakfast cereal was too soggy to eat. They were dragging there little feet to get ready for school and now we were running late! As a result some things were said on both ends in the heat of battle that we all quickly hated and regretted. 

Those mornings always hang a cloud of regret, sorrow and failure over the start of the day.

However, after finally getting my little "angels" safely to their destinations I now had the morning to myself. So I took a deep breath, exhaled and headed downtown for some coffee, quiet and regrouping.

My hometown has become the rehab capital of the U.S. if not the world. It definitely comes with its critics, obviously it is not something that is openly embraced or advertised on the City of Commerce web page. 

As I walk downtown I pass the "rehab kids" who scamper to and fro heading to their various recovery meetings, or who are simply passing the time smoking cigarettes trying their best to stay out of trouble.

I can't help but feel for them. So young and yet so much baggage already. I can't help but think of the families, the parents and the friendships laid to waste by the destructive power of addiction. I cannot even imagine having lost so much at such a young age, to have inflicted so much hurt on those you love and also to have suffered themselves at the hands of their sickness and disease.

The rehabs and the "recovery kids" are something that many don't want to see littering and loitering the streets of our fine city. I get that, sometimes I echo that, but man, to be one of these kids facing what they have to face, it is heartbreaking.

As I continue down the block I stop at a newspaper stand and read the front page headlines as is part of my routine. I don't have to read much further than the headline that reads "ISIS beheaded 21 Egyptian Christians" to walk away shaking my head wondering how sick and twisted this world is. Sadly this isn't anything new, since Cain brutally killed his brother in a fit of jealousy and rage humankind has found different ways to be evil and then inflict their sickness on others.

And evidence of tragedy and evil hits home as I draw closer to my destination. A memorial filled with flowers, stuffed animals and cards of grief, condolences and thankfulness surrounds a temporary sign that pleads "Pray for Kayla" at a street corner of the county courthouse. A few weeks prior the news hit our little community that one of our own, 26-year-old Kayla Mueller had been held hostage by the Islamic State for over a year and now was feared dead. The city and nation held its collective breath, hoping and praying for some kind of miracle, some hint of good news. 

Sadly days later it was confirmed that Layla was killed, that evil indeed had prevailed again, even if only for a moment. Because the truth is that evil and death can do very little to dim such a bright light that Kayla shined and left behind.

With all the mornings events bombarding my thoughts, I finally arrived at my destination. However coffee didn't sound as satisfying anymore and I was in no mood for reading, writing or anything else. What hope can be gleaned from a morning like this? From a world like this?

The generic Christian answer that "one day this will all be over, and there will be no more tears, pain, suffering or death" does little in the moment does it? Sure this IS everything, it IS the answer, but it is also hard to rejoice at the future relief of pain at the beginning of a root canal.

What solace can be taken in a world gone mad?

And somehow it came to me and I am not entirely sure if it makes sense and it defiantly doesn't make all the hurt better for the families of the 21 martyrs or Kayla's family, or even the "rehab kids" trying not to become a sad statistic of drug addiction.

What I take from this is that we are ALL victims of this fallen world, we all suffer, hurt and struggle (unfortunately some more than others). 

The reason we shed tears for strangers we have never met and why memorials overflow with flowers from strangers is because we can empathize with the pain. Perhaps our suffering and sadness doesn't seem as dark or deep but it hurts just the same. I can look in the eyes of the "rehab kid" and not know his particular struggle, but I know the equivalent of his pain.

And we don't have to compare stories, or rate who suffered more. The point is we have. We have hurts, pains and heartbreak. Sure, one day that will all be gone and there will be healing and forgiveness and reunion with those we love, but for the here and now we share in this mess!

Humanity shares In each others pain, because we know it, and as much as we don't like it, it brings us together to share in it.

We don't have to suffer alone. Sure we can choose to, but that is a decision not to live, or at least live life, or each day or each moment to its fullest.

My morning wasn't great, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't the worst either. Regardless, I have to regroup, forgive and push on, because this mess isn't unique to only me.

Life is a mess, but as Kayla Mueller saw it, God is in the mess with us.

“I find God in the suffering eyes reflected in mine. If this is how You are revealed to me, this is how I will forever seek You.”

— Kayla Mueller, 2011

"For the more we suffer and endure hardships, the more God will shower us with His comfort."

-The Apostle Paul 2 Corinthians 1:5

Please take the time to read this Washington Post article about the inspiring life of Kayla Mueller!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/remembering-the-remarkable-kayla-mueller/2015/02/13/2fe2377c-b382-11e4-886b-c22184f27c35_story.html

The Fall of Humankind (and rise, then fall again...rise...nope, fall!)

As I get older I find myself consistantly dealing with my demons more and more often. For a time it was mostly innocent stuff like being more conscious of what I eat and getting some excercise in an effort to fight back against my ever changing and expanding midsection. So I cut back on my coffee intake (I have since regressed), stopped drinking soft drinks (regress here and there) and tried to avoid fast foods as much as possible (FUDGE!).

And although I admit I can and do curse up a storm in my head when frustrated or angry, I really do try to portray a cleaner cut, PG version of myself on the outside. Now I am not judging anyone else out there, I actually believe a well placed F-word or G-dammit can serve a purpose, make a point and be downright hilarious if well timed, but I try to refrain myself.

Something else about myself (since we are on the subject) is that I am a bit of am introvert. For the most part I am the quiet type who when in a crowd sits back, listens alot and anylyzes people, situations and conversations. Sure, I have my moments when I come out of my shell "guns ablazing" and "kill it" with my biting humor or an edge of your seat story, but for the most part I like to sit back quietly and figure you all out! (Scary huh?)

As the "quiet, mysterious guy" I have come to understand how that can be perceived to people that don't really know me. Yeah, you know what I mean, the first impression of people of my ilk is that we are, if not completely homocidal, in the very least are stuck up and arrogant....basically an a-hole! So I consciously and sometimes painfully have to force myself to be the proactive person in social settings, going out of my way to shake hands and make conversation while trying not to look like a stick in the mud.

So what I guess i am trying to tell you is that I am a real SAINT!

I hear your praises and I love them! Sure, on the outside I humbly play off the compliments and act like I am nobody special (because that is what the BEST of the saints do), however on the inside I am feeling so good about myself! I allow myself a moment to look around at the rest of you with your really ugly issues, that the rest of us talk about when you are not around (only because we are really concerned about you, not because we are judgmental or gossiping at all!) and I feel even that much better about myself!

But then reality punches me in the gut!

While doubled over in pain and grasping for air, the deep, dark stuff emerges from the muck that is hidden inside. The crude that I know is there, but yet I pretend I got a handle on, or have dealt with seeps up to the surface.

You find yourself getting older like I have and you have the opportunity to do some really stupid things. Things that wreck the false pretenses you want to believe about yourself, or at least want others to believe anyways.

If only caffeine intake, curse words and my quirky personality were my darkest demons!

Sometimes I pray, and not as much as I should honestly. But as I get to know myself better and uncover more of my flaws, you better believe I pray! The only hope for me, to be honest, is that I get some heaveny help! I can't hope to accomplish anything impacting or life-changing on my own, I need the grace of God more than I can ever imagine!

What I pray for the most is that my kids will grow up okay having to deal with my dysfunction. I plead for Gods grace to protect them when I say something really stupid in frustration, or when I handle some situation completely the opposite of what the child rearing books teach you to, or when I worry more about the current state of a disastrously filthy house (probably exaggerating) than reading to them, listening to them or throwing them a ball around.

Sure I am a good parent, but I am also a bad one all at the same time! So I pray that God will have mercy on their souls because of me!

I know you think I am being far too hard on myself (I am a Saint after all!), but I am pretty sure that this is pretty normal parent thing to do. Most, if not all parents have got to think that they are also terrible parents while they deal with these same concerns, questions and doubts. If not, than I am worse off than I originally thought!

Now I trully and honesty believe that you have to embrace your mistakes and failures in an effort to learn from them, and in that process you will find yourself being strengthened by them. I mean honestly, yeah it stinks, it hurts and it can be depressing for a few days, weeks or even months, but you gotta deal with the things that pain you the most. Because those issues, faults and failures don't just hurt you but they also hurt those you care about and love the most.

Some of the ugliest people I have ever met in my life are those who don't do this, who refuse to take responsibility for their junk and who won't take stock of their life and their subsequent issues. As a result, they remain stagnate, and there is no possible way for them to grow into a stronger, or at least slightly better person. They can lie to themselves and exaust themselves playing the games that might fool others, but in the end they will always be the same person underneath. And who wants to stay the same? Who doesn't wish they could improve themselves, evolve and grow up!

Because although I mostly joked at the begining about wanting to look like a saint, nobody wants to be around someone like that. What we want is honesty. We want people we can relate to, people who treat us with understanding when we are transparent about our own failures and who won't turn around and judge us for them.

You get older, you start to see wrinkles and gray hairs but those things are the least of your worries, the least of mine anyways, because I got stuff! I have issues, but I am dealing with them and it is making me a better person. Perhaps not a saint, but someone I can stand growing old with anyways!

Priceless Lessons from Worthless Things

I met inspiration the other day. I met inspiration thanks to a broken down old lawn mower that I had listed on Craigslist on the outside chance that someone might give me enough for it to buy a cup of coffee or in the very least in hopes I might get it out of the yard. In my natural salesman like genious I tagged the ad with an optimistic “great for someone who knows how to fix an engine!”

And that is how I ended up getting a call from Don the following morning inquiring about the mower. “Is it still available?” he asked with hope in his voice. now, obviously people hadn’t begun lining up yet at the chance to snatch up the mower that had probably been collecting dirt in the backyard for years while the sun did its best to crack and fade the color of every plastic part. So I was happy to inform him that "yes it is still here!"

I liked Don right away over the phone. It was a brief conversation, littered from his end with phrases like “right on, man!” and “cool, no problem!” He spoke with a lot of energy and life, especially considering our conversation revolved around what I considered an afterthought of an old, useless mower. From his voice alone I imagined Don to be a fifty-year-old free spirited type, most likely an seasoned surfer or an aging musician.

The cloud of black and gray smoke had barely cleared the area from my test start-up attempt on the mostly lifeless mower when Don pulled into the driveway. As I coughed to clear my lungs from smoke, I watched as he slowly stumbled out of his Toyota 4-Runner, barely straightening up from a seated position as he began moving in my direction, dragging one foot behind him and holding  the other crooked and gnarled like an old tree branch by his side. He apologized from a distance at his sluggish trek, casually and without a hint of embarressment chalking it up to the two strokes he had suffered in the past few years.

Despite his uncooperative body, Don spoke with so much life and passion like he had earlier on the phone, that it almost completely compensated for his nearly lifeless right side of his body.  He radiated such an enthusiasm for even the most mundane details which allowed no room for feeling sorry for him, although you might (like I did), feel a bit guilty and subconscious of your own self-pity, laziness or pessimism in his presences.

Don looked down at the mower, quickly dismissing my offer to start it up for him, taking me at my word that it does indeed start as he handed me a $20 bill with his good hand. He then preceeded to go right into his story as if he somehow owed me an explanation, although the level of intrigue was probably clearly seen in my face. He explained  to me that working on lawn mower engines was a hobby of his to keep himself busy, to keep himself functioning, useful and in the very least to simply keep himself sane after his strokes. He said “I might fumble trying to line up a bolt all day long, but in the end I have a great feeling of accomplishment when I finish one of these!” nodding towards the mower. He explained that it was either this or sitting on the couch watching television and feeling sorry for himself while he simply waited to die. Knowing Don as well as I did in those five minutes I knew he could never let that happen! He has too much life, too much optimism, too much resolve to fade away like that.

And so rescuing lawn mowers from garages, sheds and overgrown back yards gives Don an incredibly lifegiving purpose, and in turn he slowly resurrects those old, forgotten machines and gives them a second chance at life as well.

One of the things I really became aware of from this whole experience was how we spend so much time and energy, sweat and tears in life grasping for, seeking to understand and finally accomplish some sort of great purpose, reason for being, or legacy.  And it must be something great, something noble, something impactful that fuels our march through life. Sure, we can point to our family, children, spouses, friends and careers as proof of our greatest accomplishments and rightly so, but often that isn't enough and we selfishly long for more still unfulfilled.

And then there is Don who finds treasure in other peoples trash. Someone who sees victory in lining up a few bolts, screwing in a spark plug and finally starting up that old engine made new again.

I feel like I got so much more than a few bucks for a cup of coffee, but that I got some deep and impactful lessons that are relevant to my life! And when you meet someone like Don who drops such gifts into your life, you are wise to unwrap them and meditate upon them!

Status Update

It is a tumultuous time we live in. Our Nation is embroiled in gun, marriage and reproductive rights debates and battles. We still face racial prejuidice and inequality as the events in Ferguson have so brightly shined a spotlight on issues that have been lurking in the shadows for years and exist in all facets of our society.

Good lord if I can’t have a cup of coffee in the morning and scroll through my Facebook feed or peruse my favorite news homepage without feeling bombarded with it all! Half of our Country is angry as hell about who is leading this Nation, half the country wants to “legalize it” and a good majority just want to see Tebow get a fair shot at quarterback or see if a certian team can win The Super Bowl with a properly inflated football.

We are torn apart and turned around in all different directions; most of the time unsure which end is up.

Our society is all about debating, scrutinizing, judging and most of all fervently disagreeing with one another. Every news program, reality television show and online forum attests to this truth. For each person who stands for something there is someone else who will stand against it. For instance, when I am out having coffee with a group of friends who may even agree on a certain subject there is always one or two people that can’t help playing the devil’s advocate just to keep the conversation “spicy”.

It can be fun, it can make us feel empowered, we can even learn something from it, but if conflict and disagreement is all we ever do than in the end all we really are is distracted. We are being distracted from the things that deep down really matter.

I admit that over the past few years I have been distracted myself and spent too much time being angry with certian politics, certian churches (Westboro Baptist) and a certain chicken sandwich franchise everyone was divided upon supporting. And every year I devote too much of my valuable time reading articles and box scores of my favorite baseball team from the North Side of Chicago (although I do consider it a long term investment).

We all have worries and wants, passions and perspectives, convictions and concerns. There are things that we all believe are worthy to stand for, fight for and we should. However, although some of these social and political issues are truly important I can’t help but believe that we often are caught in a kind of tunnel vision, so focused on the things we are passionate about and yet missing the point, the bigger picture.

Currently that means that many people are afraid that our right to bare arms to protect ourselves and keep the government honest is being threatened. Yet I have to wonder if our Government is remotely concerned with a population so preoccupied by social networking sites, television, smart phones and celebrity worship? The majority of America has no idea what is really going on because we are too busy playing Trivia Crack on their mobile device.

The Government already has us right where it wants us, distracted. We are like those videos on YouTube of people caught on surveillance video walking into bears (seriously?) or falling into fountains because they are so busy texting and not paying attention to where they are going.  

Others are concerned with the dangers of legalizing medical marijuana yet they don’t even question the fact that people are prescribed chemically created and engineered medications (from Pharmaceutical companies who line our politicians pockets with kickbacks) that have quickly become our nations most abused, dangerous and deadly drugs.

People rant and rave about our Nation’s health care system, as we stuff our faces with Big Macs, drink Carmel Macchiatos with extra syrup and allow our Gym memberships to lapse.

Everyone is concerned with Government spending and our Countries ever increasing debt and yet when it comes to our own personal finances we spend and borrow in excess without saving a dime while simultaneously botching our checkbooks and failing to even put together a budget.

Many people fight to protect traditional marriage from “alternative lifestyles” yet we do very little to strengthen or even protect the marriages we already have.

We complain about Government yet we don’t vote in local elections or even attend PTA meetings of the schools our children attend.

I witness all of this transpiring in society at large but sadly I see similarities of this happening within my faith and church as well.

It is no secret that the Church has fractured apart into so many little cliques and disgruntled family members throughout our cities and towns that we can hardly keep count. Sometimes it happens because of deep theological differences and sometimes it happens because someone made a negative comment about someone else’s homemade potato salad at the church potluck.

We fight incisively about who will get into heaven or if there even is a literal hell as people suffer and live in "hell" all around us every day

We squabble over correct interpretations and versions of the Bible that only serve to collect dust on shelves of believers anyways instead of being thankful people are inspired to read it no matter the language used.

We spend time and money on seminars, books and meetings so our churches can be more “hip” and “relevant”, while people who live outside the four-walls of church live every day with their own relevant concerns, hurts and needs.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying our convictions, feelings and beliefs are unimportant or even all wrong. However, we cannot allow ourselves to become stagnant or useless because we are paralyzed by a certain issue or concern. And that is my whole point here. So often we only get passionate about the headlines, the highlighted content, the Tweets, the juicy sound bites and we ignore the whole content of the story, the sources, the consequences

We see this every election year. Many people became so troubled, so focus on a handful of issues and political candidates while ignoring a world of more pressing ones. The world doesn't stop turning so we can focus all of our energies on politics and winning. People were still going hungry, wars still raged, marriages were falling apart and children were still abused.

We can’t allow ourselves to become like the futuristic people prophesied about in the Pixar movie WALL-E who lay around all day in a hover/wheel chair with computer screens in front of them and Slurpee’s in their cup holders. They were so overfed and distracted that they become a useless people that lacked the muscle tone to even stand up.

My challenge to us all (for sure myself included) is to branch out and broaden our horizons. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, mow your neighbor’s lawn or have a cup of coffee with a friend.

Read a book, watch a documentary or have a conversation with someone that challenges rather that validates your beliefs.

Say a prayer (instead of complain) for those who lead you whether it be a boss, a pastor or yes, even the President.

Speak life rather than death. SPEAK LIFE RATHER THAN DEATH!

Be optimistic…yeah, in this world we will have troubles, but if you’re someone who professes faith like I do than remember that Jesus took care of it so you don’t have too! All of our concerns, worries and fears accomplish NOTHING; put your hope in the one who accomplished everything!

Heck, take a picture of your kids, an awe-inspiring sunset or even the incredibly tantalizing food that has been placed in front of you and upload it via Twitter or Facebook every once in awhile. Then at the very least the rest of us will know that you are getting out of the house and doing something.

Most of all, as the Apostle Paul encouraged, “set your mind on things above!”

Those We Seak Not Of (Addressing the "gay debate" part II)

-As I declared in my previous post, Christianity finds itself in a time of great opportunity and responsibility to bless and minister to the gay and lesbian communities. I understand that the idea of allowing gays and lesbians into the church may be too controversial, uncomfortable and disruptive for many. It is urgent then that Christians personally step outside of the comfort and protection of those “four walls” and serve, love, listen, pray, comfort and make lasting friendships with gays, lesbians, bisexuals or transsexuals when their church cannot. If the gay community is unwelcome and uncomfortable in a church setting then we must take the church to them.  

                It’s no surprise that many Christians would be tentative, uncomfortable and furthermore ill equipped in responding to such an appeal. Christianity as a whole has for years presented mixed messages concerning how its members are to love their gay neighbors while remaining true to their morals and standards. We want to know what "loving the sinner, hating the sin" looks like and if it’s even practical or effective. To this day Christianity remains painfully slow in addressing this issue or presenting any clear direction for its followers who desire answers in responding to their Gay, Lesbian, Bi or Transgendered neighbors, co-workers, friends and families who stand before them right now!

 

                A good place to start if we wish to be sensitive and loving to gays and lesbians is to discontinue to believe, preach, teach or have anything to do with the idea that homosexuals are without morals, promiscuous, pedophiles and unfit to parent. The truth is that many Gays and lesbians do attend church, believe in God and have high moral standards. Some find themselves in committed long lasting relationships while others remain single or even choose a life of celibacy. Furthermore, gays and lesbians raise good kids and have healthy family lives. People have attached these negative characteristics to gays and lesbians to build their cases against them. If you can contend that Gay people are somehow “inhuman”, wildly immoral or dangerous it is easier to recruit people to your “side” of the argument. But the misinformation, lies and slander has only raised hostility, birthed hatred and caused widening division between the “sides”. Somehow the representatives of God’s unfailing love, redemption and grace find themselves on a “side” and we must make our way to the middle.        

            In our aim to be relevant to gays, lesbians and everyone else for that matter, we must practice the instruction of Jesus when he commanded us to “do to others as you would have them do to you”. If I wish to be treated with grace and mercy than I must extend it to others, if I am going to demand that I am respected and treated fairly than I must treat others likewise. If I want others to listen when I talk than I must give attention to their voice. How we want to be treated by others is how we must treat them now.

In addressing the idea of loving our neighbors, C.S. Lewis writes, “you have never talked to a mere mortal…next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.” He goes on to present the idea that by loving and encouraging one another we are assisting each other to our full potentials as not only humans but eternal souls. Finally C.S. Lewis concludes, “it is in light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play and all politics.” We should live our lives with the perspective that each person, each eternal soul is precious to God and it is our responsibility to nurture and encourage one another.

            When I encounter someone who is gay or lesbian my heart goes out to them and I go out of my way to be kind, considerate and friendly. My wife, Sarah recently shared with me that she had similar feelings. She recounted an experience from when she worked in a dentist office in which some of the staff refused to assist a gay couple that had HIV. However, Sarah always enthusiastically volunteered to assist the dentist when this particular couple had an appointment. Sarah said she always went out of her way to be friendly and treat them with care and concern, going above and beyond for them because she knew that they probably weren’t always treated with such dignity and respect because of their sexuality and their disease. Like Tony Campolo wrote in Speaking My Mind, “We must find ways to present homosexuals with opportunities to have fulfilling, loving experiences so that we affirm their humanity and ensure their participation in the body of Christ.”

                The Biblical scriptures are full of such incredibly uplifting and hopeful passages concerning God sending his only Son to die for us, His compassion and grace, His goodness towards all of His creation, His offer of a life lived abundantly, rest for our souls and a hope that only comes from Him. These promises, these verses of hope, these passages of grace and love is God’s message to all people, including widows, the oppressed, the sinners, the alcoholics, straight, gay and lesbian of every race, color and background. There must be good news for homosexuals, because God also had them in mind when He inspired the scriptures.

Honestly the politics and debates concerning this whole issue are nauseating. I often wonder whether it is fair for us to expect the world around us to adhere to our biblical standards. Perhaps we can affect society more fruitfully when we focus on loving people unconditionally. David Kinnaman writes in “Unchristian”, “You change a country not merely by bolstering its laws but by transforming the hearts of its people”. We might win a proposition or Supreme Court decision, but at what cost? Are we willing to completely alienate an entire generation of people and lose their audience to win our moral battles? Maybe we need to reevaluate our focus and mission because although we might have the best of intentions, the world doesn’t perceive our actions out of an obligation of love. To be honest, we don’t always have the best interests of people at heart, what we have is our agendas. Sometimes we are more concerned with being right than we are with the feelings and the well-being of an eternal soul. 

            As Christians, everything we do should be motivated out of compassion for others. If we have any other motive, whether it is anger, hurt, self-righteousness, resentment or offense, than we should stay out of it. The world will see right through our empty actions if it is not executed out of compassion. 

Some Christians will argue that we will somehow be condoning the LGBT communities or that we are being too sympathetic by extending to them such grace. However, don’t they deserve to know and observe the message of Gods redemption and mercy? When we stand before God to be judged someday I don’t believe that He will condemn us because we extended too much grace, cared too much, was overly tolerant and excepting of others, excessively kind and loving. However, scripture is clear that we will be judged in the manner in which we judged others and we will be held accountable for withholding justice, blessing, forgiveness and love. I prefer to error on the side of loving too much.   

                Our obligation as Christians is to live out our faith in a way that represents the love and grace of God to the world. My hope for the gay and lesbian co-workers and friends in my life is that they will reflect back on their life someday and respond, “I have experienced prejudice, hate and struggle in my life not only from strangers but from my own family. However, this Christian has always loved me, been there for me and treated me with respect”. Shouldn’t we strive to leave such an imprint and impression on people’s hearts?  

It is my personal belief that the loudest message of the Christian church should always be love for God and love for others. Unfortunately the loudest message that Flagstaff has heard from the Christian church this year is that Christians don't like gays… What has not been heard or said as loudly, is that God is in love with them and has a desire to impart life that surpasses all that this world could ever offer…our message this year whether intentional or not has been one that rejects, not moral decisions, but individuals.

-Excerpt From my friend Kris Dohse’s blog, addressed to the local churches in his community who vocally and passionately supported an anti-gay marriage ballot proposition.