Most Everything Turns to Sh!t...(Rejoice, Rejoice, Rejoice!)

I had one of those mornings with the kids today. They seemed to be conspiring against me as we couldn't find a matching pair of shoes, jackets grew legs and walked away and apparently the breakfast cereal was too soggy to eat. They were dragging there little feet to get ready for school and now we were running late! As a result some things were said on both ends in the heat of battle that we all quickly hated and regretted. 

Those mornings always hang a cloud of regret, sorrow and failure over the start of the day.

However, after finally getting my little "angels" safely to their destinations I now had the morning to myself. So I took a deep breath, exhaled and headed downtown for some coffee, quiet and regrouping.

My hometown has become the rehab capital of the U.S. if not the world. It definitely comes with its critics, obviously it is not something that is openly embraced or advertised on the City of Commerce web page. 

As I walk downtown I pass the "rehab kids" who scamper to and fro heading to their various recovery meetings, or who are simply passing the time smoking cigarettes trying their best to stay out of trouble.

I can't help but feel for them. So young and yet so much baggage already. I can't help but think of the families, the parents and the friendships laid to waste by the destructive power of addiction. I cannot even imagine having lost so much at such a young age, to have inflicted so much hurt on those you love and also to have suffered themselves at the hands of their sickness and disease.

The rehabs and the "recovery kids" are something that many don't want to see littering and loitering the streets of our fine city. I get that, sometimes I echo that, but man, to be one of these kids facing what they have to face, it is heartbreaking.

As I continue down the block I stop at a newspaper stand and read the front page headlines as is part of my routine. I don't have to read much further than the headline that reads "ISIS beheaded 21 Egyptian Christians" to walk away shaking my head wondering how sick and twisted this world is. Sadly this isn't anything new, since Cain brutally killed his brother in a fit of jealousy and rage humankind has found different ways to be evil and then inflict their sickness on others.

And evidence of tragedy and evil hits home as I draw closer to my destination. A memorial filled with flowers, stuffed animals and cards of grief, condolences and thankfulness surrounds a temporary sign that pleads "Pray for Kayla" at a street corner of the county courthouse. A few weeks prior the news hit our little community that one of our own, 26-year-old Kayla Mueller had been held hostage by the Islamic State for over a year and now was feared dead. The city and nation held its collective breath, hoping and praying for some kind of miracle, some hint of good news. 

Sadly days later it was confirmed that Layla was killed, that evil indeed had prevailed again, even if only for a moment. Because the truth is that evil and death can do very little to dim such a bright light that Kayla shined and left behind.

With all the mornings events bombarding my thoughts, I finally arrived at my destination. However coffee didn't sound as satisfying anymore and I was in no mood for reading, writing or anything else. What hope can be gleaned from a morning like this? From a world like this?

The generic Christian answer that "one day this will all be over, and there will be no more tears, pain, suffering or death" does little in the moment does it? Sure this IS everything, it IS the answer, but it is also hard to rejoice at the future relief of pain at the beginning of a root canal.

What solace can be taken in a world gone mad?

And somehow it came to me and I am not entirely sure if it makes sense and it defiantly doesn't make all the hurt better for the families of the 21 martyrs or Kayla's family, or even the "rehab kids" trying not to become a sad statistic of drug addiction.

What I take from this is that we are ALL victims of this fallen world, we all suffer, hurt and struggle (unfortunately some more than others). 

The reason we shed tears for strangers we have never met and why memorials overflow with flowers from strangers is because we can empathize with the pain. Perhaps our suffering and sadness doesn't seem as dark or deep but it hurts just the same. I can look in the eyes of the "rehab kid" and not know his particular struggle, but I know the equivalent of his pain.

And we don't have to compare stories, or rate who suffered more. The point is we have. We have hurts, pains and heartbreak. Sure, one day that will all be gone and there will be healing and forgiveness and reunion with those we love, but for the here and now we share in this mess!

Humanity shares In each others pain, because we know it, and as much as we don't like it, it brings us together to share in it.

We don't have to suffer alone. Sure we can choose to, but that is a decision not to live, or at least live life, or each day or each moment to its fullest.

My morning wasn't great, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't the worst either. Regardless, I have to regroup, forgive and push on, because this mess isn't unique to only me.

Life is a mess, but as Kayla Mueller saw it, God is in the mess with us.

“I find God in the suffering eyes reflected in mine. If this is how You are revealed to me, this is how I will forever seek You.”

— Kayla Mueller, 2011

"For the more we suffer and endure hardships, the more God will shower us with His comfort."

-The Apostle Paul 2 Corinthians 1:5

Please take the time to read this Washington Post article about the inspiring life of Kayla Mueller!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/remembering-the-remarkable-kayla-mueller/2015/02/13/2fe2377c-b382-11e4-886b-c22184f27c35_story.html

Status Update

It is a tumultuous time we live in. Our Nation is embroiled in gun, marriage and reproductive rights debates and battles. We still face racial prejuidice and inequality as the events in Ferguson have so brightly shined a spotlight on issues that have been lurking in the shadows for years and exist in all facets of our society.

Good lord if I can’t have a cup of coffee in the morning and scroll through my Facebook feed or peruse my favorite news homepage without feeling bombarded with it all! Half of our Country is angry as hell about who is leading this Nation, half the country wants to “legalize it” and a good majority just want to see Tebow get a fair shot at quarterback or see if a certian team can win The Super Bowl with a properly inflated football.

We are torn apart and turned around in all different directions; most of the time unsure which end is up.

Our society is all about debating, scrutinizing, judging and most of all fervently disagreeing with one another. Every news program, reality television show and online forum attests to this truth. For each person who stands for something there is someone else who will stand against it. For instance, when I am out having coffee with a group of friends who may even agree on a certain subject there is always one or two people that can’t help playing the devil’s advocate just to keep the conversation “spicy”.

It can be fun, it can make us feel empowered, we can even learn something from it, but if conflict and disagreement is all we ever do than in the end all we really are is distracted. We are being distracted from the things that deep down really matter.

I admit that over the past few years I have been distracted myself and spent too much time being angry with certian politics, certian churches (Westboro Baptist) and a certain chicken sandwich franchise everyone was divided upon supporting. And every year I devote too much of my valuable time reading articles and box scores of my favorite baseball team from the North Side of Chicago (although I do consider it a long term investment).

We all have worries and wants, passions and perspectives, convictions and concerns. There are things that we all believe are worthy to stand for, fight for and we should. However, although some of these social and political issues are truly important I can’t help but believe that we often are caught in a kind of tunnel vision, so focused on the things we are passionate about and yet missing the point, the bigger picture.

Currently that means that many people are afraid that our right to bare arms to protect ourselves and keep the government honest is being threatened. Yet I have to wonder if our Government is remotely concerned with a population so preoccupied by social networking sites, television, smart phones and celebrity worship? The majority of America has no idea what is really going on because we are too busy playing Trivia Crack on their mobile device.

The Government already has us right where it wants us, distracted. We are like those videos on YouTube of people caught on surveillance video walking into bears (seriously?) or falling into fountains because they are so busy texting and not paying attention to where they are going.  

Others are concerned with the dangers of legalizing medical marijuana yet they don’t even question the fact that people are prescribed chemically created and engineered medications (from Pharmaceutical companies who line our politicians pockets with kickbacks) that have quickly become our nations most abused, dangerous and deadly drugs.

People rant and rave about our Nation’s health care system, as we stuff our faces with Big Macs, drink Carmel Macchiatos with extra syrup and allow our Gym memberships to lapse.

Everyone is concerned with Government spending and our Countries ever increasing debt and yet when it comes to our own personal finances we spend and borrow in excess without saving a dime while simultaneously botching our checkbooks and failing to even put together a budget.

Many people fight to protect traditional marriage from “alternative lifestyles” yet we do very little to strengthen or even protect the marriages we already have.

We complain about Government yet we don’t vote in local elections or even attend PTA meetings of the schools our children attend.

I witness all of this transpiring in society at large but sadly I see similarities of this happening within my faith and church as well.

It is no secret that the Church has fractured apart into so many little cliques and disgruntled family members throughout our cities and towns that we can hardly keep count. Sometimes it happens because of deep theological differences and sometimes it happens because someone made a negative comment about someone else’s homemade potato salad at the church potluck.

We fight incisively about who will get into heaven or if there even is a literal hell as people suffer and live in "hell" all around us every day

We squabble over correct interpretations and versions of the Bible that only serve to collect dust on shelves of believers anyways instead of being thankful people are inspired to read it no matter the language used.

We spend time and money on seminars, books and meetings so our churches can be more “hip” and “relevant”, while people who live outside the four-walls of church live every day with their own relevant concerns, hurts and needs.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying our convictions, feelings and beliefs are unimportant or even all wrong. However, we cannot allow ourselves to become stagnant or useless because we are paralyzed by a certain issue or concern. And that is my whole point here. So often we only get passionate about the headlines, the highlighted content, the Tweets, the juicy sound bites and we ignore the whole content of the story, the sources, the consequences

We see this every election year. Many people became so troubled, so focus on a handful of issues and political candidates while ignoring a world of more pressing ones. The world doesn't stop turning so we can focus all of our energies on politics and winning. People were still going hungry, wars still raged, marriages were falling apart and children were still abused.

We can’t allow ourselves to become like the futuristic people prophesied about in the Pixar movie WALL-E who lay around all day in a hover/wheel chair with computer screens in front of them and Slurpee’s in their cup holders. They were so overfed and distracted that they become a useless people that lacked the muscle tone to even stand up.

My challenge to us all (for sure myself included) is to branch out and broaden our horizons. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, mow your neighbor’s lawn or have a cup of coffee with a friend.

Read a book, watch a documentary or have a conversation with someone that challenges rather that validates your beliefs.

Say a prayer (instead of complain) for those who lead you whether it be a boss, a pastor or yes, even the President.

Speak life rather than death. SPEAK LIFE RATHER THAN DEATH!

Be optimistic…yeah, in this world we will have troubles, but if you’re someone who professes faith like I do than remember that Jesus took care of it so you don’t have too! All of our concerns, worries and fears accomplish NOTHING; put your hope in the one who accomplished everything!

Heck, take a picture of your kids, an awe-inspiring sunset or even the incredibly tantalizing food that has been placed in front of you and upload it via Twitter or Facebook every once in awhile. Then at the very least the rest of us will know that you are getting out of the house and doing something.

Most of all, as the Apostle Paul encouraged, “set your mind on things above!”

We All Kinds of Crazy!

I Came to the chilling realization a few years ago that everyone, I mean EVERYONE has a little bit of crazy in them. This thesis found me mostly by accident as my wife was recounting with concern the reckless and illogical adventures of a close friend of hers which eerily mirrored other accounts regarding close friends and family members we had encountered over the previous months. When she was finished with her account I blurted out as if in surrender, “everyone is crazy!” I can’t be sure if it was a statement exactly or if I was asking a question, however, as the words left my lips the truth of it struck me. It was like an epiphany. 

Obviously I don’t believe that everyone is loony bin, straight jacket, certifiably insane. However, the truth is that every one of us is a flawed human being with hang-ups, irrational behaviors and unique quarks who could probably benefit from a few sessions with a licensed psychotherapist. What separates us from simply being different  and perhaps a bit odd to full on crazy is that we live our lives in denial of our imperfections while entertaining delusions of who we really are. I give you the comb over and Karaoke as evidence.

Probably the sanest people are those whom you would actually think had the most problems, for instance those in A.A and various recovery programs, a person with some sort of mental health diagnoses they are addressing or a married couple seeking counseling. The fact is that since they are humbly seeking the help that they so desperately need suggests that these folks have come to terms with their issues, their little slices of crazy.

This reminds me of one of my favorite stories Jesus told about a Pharisee (think: religious elite) and a tax collector (think: smarmy politician) who are both in the act of prayer. The Pharisee begins his prideful prayer, “thank you Lord that I am not like this scumbag tax collector over there…”, whereas the tax collector begs passionately and humbly while beating his chest in anguish, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” Obviously, the tax collector has come to grips with the reality of his situation, whereas the Pharisee is living such a lie that he foolishly believes he can “pull one over” on God. The crazy in this story is quite apparent.

Whether it is our continual horrid decisions and choices that makes best friends and family members want to strangle us, our self-absorption that sucks the life out of any and all attempts at normal conversation or our inability to separate our emotional feelings from reality, we put the people we love the most through hell!

What continues to fuel the madness within each one of us is that our reality is the norm. And because every generation is raised by a flawed generation before them, no matter how great mom and dad were, we are destine to grow up with unresolved issues pertaining to that.

Sure, I knew that everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions, but I never entertained the idea that all of us, even those I looked up to the most may have some wiring crossed or a screw loose.

Yet the evidence was undeniable as I began to witness marriages that I had hoped to emulate crumble to the ground, pastors who worked tirelessly in the ministry which left little time for their own families and heartbreaking fractures within my own family that left us with an empty chair or two at the holiday dinner table. I began to see crazy everywhere I looked within the safe and sane world I thought I knew.  

Then a new fear began to materialize as these truths became clear and I was forced to broach the next obvious question, “am I crazy too?”

We can rationalize our lives, decisions and actions all we want but deep down we all know our weaknesses, our limits and our braking point. This is the dark reality I had to face. There is a band called The Belle Brigades who have this incredible song called “Losers” containing a somber warning that “there will always be someone worse than you, sister don’t let it get to your head”. So true! How easy it was for me to glance around and carefully select those I wished to compare, evaluate and judge myself by. How unfair and dangerous this was as well, it only feed my own delusions, my own crazy. In such cases we all look pretty good as a world full of faulty people compare themselves with others in similar straits.

What helped me come to grips with my own bit of craziness was embracing the realization that “but for the grace of God go I”. Honestly what makes any of us think that we are any better off than someone who has made a mess of their life? Perhaps the only difference between you and me and someone we know that has gone through an ugly divorce is that we are more determined, stubborn or it’s a combination of faith and guilt that keeps us in our marriage. The only difference between you and I and a friend with a drinking problem is the drug of choice, they abuse drink while we eat, shop, gossip or flirt to make ourselves feel better for a fleeting moment.  The only difference between you and I and someone sitting in a jail cell is that they got caught and we didn’t.

You see how it works? We have certain preconceived ideas and judgments of others when we hear they got a DUI, a divorce or a prescription, until it happens to you or someone close to you.

We are all flawed individuals and when we can finally come to terms with that we can be better parents, spouses, friends and children. We can have more grace and more patience for those who deserve it and when the situation arises we can also be stern and uncompromising.

When I finally stopped trying to sell myself lies about who I really was and came to terms with the mess that is me, only then did I know how dependent I am on God and how hopeless I am without him. Many people feel like they have to clean up their act and pay some kind of penance before they can call out to God for help. The truth is that God is with us in the gutter. Discovering my shortcomings and dealing with my issues is humbling and even disconcerting but it is comforting to know that God hasn’t abandoned me.

Albert Einstein famously theorized the definition of insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I am sick of banging my head against the wall with only a headache to show for it aren’t you? It’s time we honestly take stock of our lives, our flaws and our crazy. Perhaps it’s time to try another approach.

Lost in Translation

Take it from a guy who has been married for ten years, works in close quarters with a handful of diverse personalities and has had friendships rocked by divorces and pride fueled disagreements, communication is an amazingly complex entity that can exude life, growth and camaraderie one moment and then miserable misunderstanding the next.

It is often messy, uncomfortable and misconstrued, however, judging by the current popularity of social networking sites, cell phones and text messaging, communication is also a highly sought after and valued thing.

Now when it comes to communication, I truly believe that those who put their trust in Jesus have the greatest message of hope, redemption, forgiveness and love. We are in fact, (frighteningly) Gods primarily messengers to the rest of a weary and broken world that longs for good news. Our every action, word and even our subtle body language continually sends a message to those around us of who God is and what He looks like.

So what message are we presenting? Hopefully it is one of redemption, grace and, to borrow from Brennan Manning, the “furious love of God”. Sadly, however this great message is often lost in translation.

Case in point was a pastor I recently witnessed leading new “converts” in a prayer to “accept Christ into their lives”. To those uninitiated with church life and lingo, think of it as a swearing in ceremony in which people are “sworn into” the faith. Perplexingly as it may seem being that it is such a monumental spiritual moment, it is rarely scripted or rehearsed by preachers who are apparently more focused on brushing up on the impeccable timing of their one-liners. Which may excuse this particular preacher for exhorting “newbies” to pray to God imploring Him “to forgive them for the way they have been living their lives thus far”.

Sounds pretty harmless right?

Except when you consider that such an unclear and seemingly vague statement forces people to draw their own conclusions as to what they are really being told. Which may be where all the confusion about superficial lifestyle changes like being a person of a particular moral code while avoiding the dangers of “sex, drugs and Rock n’ Roll” is birthed. What we are left with is churches full of people who are not exactly sure what their salvation really means in relation to their lives.

Despite what we might interpret the message to say, the fact is that initially putting ones faith in God has little, perhaps even nothing to do with the life someone has lived or the things they have done. I know some of the most loving and kind people who do not consider themselves Christians, while on the other hand I have been acquainted with some of the filthiest and rotten people who call themselves Christians. The way in which someone lives his or her life is not always an accurate indicator of ones salvation.

And not to pick on this poor pastor alone, because we send similar messages to the world around us when our salvation story consists of what amounts to merrily outward “surface cleaning” (“I used to smoke, drink and cuss but then I found Jesus and now my life is completely different”). The bumper sticker that reads “Born fine the first time” is the world’s jab in response to such shallow testimonies that drip with the underlying message that “life is better here”. On the contrary, life usually gets more difficult (which was what Jesus warned his followers) when one chooses faith.

You see, despite the confusing messages to the contrary, God’s primarily concern is not with the kind of life we lived yesterday. He simply desires to be the center and focus of our lives today and on into our future tomorrows.

Furthermore, asking those who are newly acquainted with God to seek forgiveness for the way they “lived their life” pre-faith sends a dangerous message that the church, and God for that matter, is only concerned with what they do instead of in whom they trust. It causes churchgoers to tiptoe around each other on Sunday mornings concerned and fearful that they will be exposed as a fraud (which, in a way, we all happen to be).

Sadly many people “join” the church, subscribe to the “corporate” brand and immediately begin exhausting themselves by jumping through all the “spiritual” hoops trying to please the others and please God while hoping to quiet the lingering voices spewing words of doubt and guilt. However, despite the commitment, effort, hard work or perseverance we cannot will ourselves to live a better “Christian life”. Such futile striving will only leave us feeling unfulfilled, frustrated and disappointed. We cannot make life, character and moral changes that are deeply ingrained into who we are with “good ole’ fashion” hard work and determination.

All this fruitless striving saddens me because it really is as simple as living in the grace of God and enjoying the spiritual journey without getting caught up in our failures, disappointments and guilt. Unfortunately such messages are a rarity.

Honestly, the most important thing missing from all of our lives is truly knowing and experiencing God, there is no other ingredient required. God, knowing every little nuance, trait, characteristic and aspect of his creation, knows perfectly how to effectively weed out, mold and shape our lives. He is much more patient and long suffering than we could ever hope to be in seeing us unto completion. If there are things in our life that need to be changed or ways of living that need to be tweaked, you can be sure God will inform us of it and will work patiently and with purpose to accomplish it in our life. In this progression our character blossoms to its fullest potential.

The salvation experience is not solely about making people better human beings. But for the grace of God, all of humanity is on a level playing field in such regards. It doesn’t matter what someone’s political affiliation may be, what their sexual orientation is, what religion they subscribe to or anything else, if there be any good deed, word of encouragement or characteristic within them it is simply the illuminating grace of God shining through a putrid soul. And we are all putrid souls, however God can use ANYONE He desires to be a blessing! As Aaron Weiss puts it so simply and yet poignantly in song “It’s (God) in everyone we meet”.

Despite what we would love to believe about ourselves, without God in our lives there really is no good within us, our natural inclinations are selfish and sinful. We should take no pride in our efforts to be “good-people” (our righteousness is like filthy rags after all) but should humbly thank God that He is hard at work patiently perfecting us hardheaded people.

With this in mind, perhaps it is time we reevaluate some of our ideas and perceptions about sin. You see, from the time Moses come down the mountain with those two imposing tablets to today where Sunday school children across the globe are singing, “be careful little eyes what you see” there has always been this underlying belief that God doesn’t want us to have any fun.

One of my favorite writers on faith, Anne Lamott reminds us that we are “punished not for the sin but by the sin.” I believe this is a much healthier way to approach Gods distain for our sins. God wants us to avoid sin, not because He wants to remove all the fun from our lives, but because sin is something that is destructive to a healthy life and healthy relationships. We should desire to live a “better life” not solely because it pleases God or makes Him love us more, but because it is a better way to live and will save us much heartache and pain.

Remember, entrusting God with our lives has nothing to do with pledging our allegiances to the handiwork of man nor does it have anything to do with keeping up our appearances. Salvation is hope that through God’s grace we can overcome yesterday’s struggles. It is hope that beginning immediately God will join us in our battles. It is hope in knowing that life won’t necessarily be easier but we will be guaranteed that we don’t have to go it alone. It is about accepting an offer of “life and life abundantly”.

In a world full of unclear and mixed messages, those of us with the greatest message of hope need to get it right.

Alien Nation

You probably wouldn’t guess it by my easygoing demeanor, but I actually have a bit of a rebellious streak in me. When you’re a Christian all this really means is that you wear jeans and Converse to church, smuggle snacks into movie theatres, and occasionally disagree with the politics of FOX News. Oh yeah, and you listen to David Bazan.

To those uninitiated, David Bazan is a critically acclaimed solo artist in the indie music world whose songwriting is heavily influenced by his Christian upbringing while also being beautifully interlaced with the darker aspects of life and faith. The result is songs containing such hefty topics as infidelity, murder, alcoholism, suicide, lust, and doubt. Not the kind of tunes your apt to hear on your local “always upbeat” Christian radio station, nevertheless real and honest topics found scattered throughout the Holy Scriptures within the lives of our spiritual heroes.

On his latest album Curse your Branches, Bazan boldly dares to take God to task on the disconcerting aspects he wrestles with in the Christian “story” or at least mans best interpretations of it. No stranger to controversy, Bazans new album has ignited some pretty heated, albeit predictable debates, especially within online forums and blogs.

Which is precisely where I encountered a comment that began by clarifying that although he liked the album he didn’t “agree” with Bazans particular commentary on the Christian faith.
Despite his “fringy” songwriting, I had honestly never really given much thought to whether I should agree with Bazans theology or not, I just simply understood. What I understand is the places of questioning and doubt from which he poses his questions. So I never necessarily felt compelled to pronounce whether I agreed with him or not as much as I felt obligated to at least attempt identifying with him.

Whether its simply clicking like/unlike or airing our views in 140 characters or less, we love to make ourselves heard don’t we? We especially enjoy interjecting our own personal “critiques” into any and all conversations. Honestly, isn’t the most entertaining part of American Idol watching the judges argue and disagree with one another? The fact is many of the most popular shows and personalities on television (Pardon the Interruption on ESPN, Glenn Beck and The View) simply offer us their highly opinionated views on varying topics.

Can, or maybe a better question is should every component of life be thoroughly scrutinized (or judged) before being so simply classified and categorized into being either agreeable or not, good or not, beneficial or not? And although my young, brash generation of disgruntled churchgoers would love to spotlight all the ways in which the church arrogantly does just this, I have to humbly confess that we are (I include myself) equally as guilty as we nit pick every nuance of the Sunday morning service.

Obviously utilizing a healthy amount of discernment is wise, however, when we consider that most everyone’s value systems vary whether the subject matter is family, religion, education, the arts or politics, sometimes the things that we believed could only fall into a neatly packaged category of either black or white actually begin to merge into a more complicated gray. What we are left with is not always universal truths, but simply many unique and varying personal convictions.

Take the Christian church for example, which has such a wide range of differing beliefs, ideas, doctrines and theologies about how God, the church and believing people are supposed to function. And the varying views go beyond simple doctrinal matters and into childrearing, women’s roles, birth control, marriage, divorce and so on. My point is that even within Christianity there is a divide on many spiritual and practical life issues. If a faith with common core beliefs can be so messy, how are we to come together civilly when the topic is seemingly something more complicated?

Interestingly enough many religious and political people approached Jesus with questions hoping to identify where he stood on “the issues”. More often than not, however Jesus skirted around the questions being posed refusing to give in to their games. On occasion he actually offered an alternative viewpoint altogether which threw a wrench into the whole idea surrounding “two-sided” debates.

Sure, there is a time and place for debate; however, we also need to have moments of peace from all the noise of dogmatic chatter. We need to have moments of understanding and if nothing else discover some harmony within our “sacred beliefs” to level enough common ground upon which to stand together. It is imperative that we have such places of safety where we can relate to one another and come to understand each other as people and not just as puzzles to be solved.

Mark Driscoll in his book Religion Saves + nine other misconceptions, writes that there are a few nonnegotiable doctrines within our faith that we must hold tightly to with a closed hand, while in the other hand there are those doctrines that are important but secondary that we must hold more loosely and graciously. Although Driscoll is addressing differences in spiritual teachings and beliefs, I believe this advice can be applied to varying areas of dissention. However, it is counsel that is, sadly, unheeded as we often hold stubbornly with white knuckles to certain beliefs that we are convinced are so important even at the risk of alienating ourselves from friends and family.

If we look to the scriptures we find that the Apostle Paul selflessly focused much of his energies into finding ways in which he could relate to others in THEIR world, on THEIR turf and where THEY were comfortable in order to make meaningful relationships. Jesus was a perfect example of this as well, spending much of his time seeking out relationships and accepting invitations into other people’s homes and worlds, many of whom were cast out from “important” religious circles for being “unagreeable”. Jesus asked questions, began meaningful dialog and most importantly he listened.

Listening is essential to understanding. When we give someone the opportunity to speak while also attentively listening it affords him or her the proper respect they deserve. In effect, we validate that person by listening. Nothing turns (or ticks) people off quicker and sours their opinion of you more than if you are someone who talks without listening. All too often various matters escalate from simple conversations into debates and arguments because both sides would rather speak than listen and empathize with one another.

Although perhaps our family, friends, church or pastors cannot come to grips with the ugly circumstances surrounding our life we can rest assured that God does understand. And not in a shortcut kind of way being that He is a God of infinite wisdom. God took no shortcuts or easy ways out when He sent Jesus to this earth; He in effect put himself in our shoes and in our situations. He faced everything we have had to face and more, rejection, temptation, betrayals from friends, false accusations, sickness and death. The real miracle of Jesus’ life on earth is not just that he accomplished it without committing a sin. The real miracle is that God would choose to experience this life right along side of us, forever making any accusation that He doesn’t understand sound rather foolish.

The scriptures also reveal that on several occasions Jesus was moved with compassion for people. This compassion was not a matter of pity, but a sincere concern for people’s well being. Which stings because most often it is not compassion that stirs us when we offer our judgment…uh, I mean, advice to those who may or may not have come looking for it in the first place.

Having our own convictions and beliefs is important, however we need to remember that is all they are, our own. Each one of us needs to decide for ourselves how much of the surrounding world we wish to weigh according to those convictions and beliefs. More than anything else I encourage you to humbly make an effort to understand and relate to those you interact with on a daily basis. Maybe then we might begin to see people as more than simply those we disagree or clash with, perhaps we might begin to see them as God does, as His precious creation who are just a little misunderstood at times.

No Guarantees or Promises

Already incredibly blessed by the birth of our daughter Grace, My wife and I “decided” shortly thereafter that it was time for a little brother or sister. However, as the pages on the calendar continued to turn months into years we had become that “heartbreaking story” of a young couple that couldn’t conceive. I reluctantly put on a brave face feebly masquerading as a strong pillar on which my heartbroken wife could lean upon. Meanwhile, she bravely bore the discouragement and despair whether she was fielding phone calls from friends who “just called to share their good news” or while simply opening those colorful baby shower invitations at the mailbox.

There is a feeling of helplessness being at the mercy of nature and God without having much input into the matter. It is especially frustrating when friends, family and even teenagers all around you are getting pregnant either incredibly easily or by accident, like “oops, we didn’t mean for that to happen?” Yeah, as if they didn’t know anything about how this whole thing happens. I worked with one guy who had three little girls in the time we were simply hoping for one (too much to ask?) who joked that he had to be careful how he looked at his wife. I felt little sympathy for him.

Finally, after tossing out our fair share of negative pregnancy tests into the wastebasket (obviously failing pregnancy tests isn’t very “Green”), we got a faint blue line. Of course my wife was pretty ecstatic, whereas I remained emotionally guarded, figuring there was a possibility that it could be a mistake and considering our continual heartbreak, I wasn’t going to allow what little hope I had remaining to be extinguished.

As each day followed that blue line that had remained “allusive” for so long became stronger and brighter. My wife literally danced around me while I sadly continued to give a half smile with fingers crossed in hopes of evading any “bad news”. I found it extremely difficult to simply let go and trust that this was for real without the fear that the rug might be pulled out from beneath us.

Fortunately for the sake of my sanity the pregnancy continues to progress normally (“we will have a boy in October). Through those first few weeks and months of the pregnancy the reoccurring spiritual theme for me was trust. In fact, I could hear the ghosts from churches past echoing in my ears the refrain, “trust God and everything will be okay”, or the more sinister, accusing and guilt infused “don’t you trust God?”

I do trust God, Yes, but I am aware of the realities of life. Good Christian people who trust in God suffer tragedy and lose at the same rate as the “heathens” all around us. As witness by my physical and emotional bruises, scabs and scars that I have endured throughout my lifetime, trust and faith in God is not a cure all, guarantee of protection against ever being hurt or let down. Yeah, I trust a good God, a God who nonetheless allows tragedy, death, sickness and sadness to befall his children.

It is easy for us to say we trust God when life is rolling along smoothly while we testify to Gods goodness and shout “hallelujahs” in church, but how about those times when we are harvesting nothing but lemons? Job, a man who suffered more than any of us can imagine, made one of the greatest statements on the subject, saying, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” So trusting in God for me means being willing and prepared to accept “trouble” with hope place firmly in His promises that He will see me through.

Sure, I could “trust” God more, exercising my “spiritual muscles” with extra time spent in prayer and perhaps fast from food for a period of time, but that won’t necessarily ensure anything or change the will of God for my life. It may simply strengthen my faith in preparation of enduring life’s disappointments and lose (Yippee!). Contrary to what many people believe and teach, the amount and strength of ones faith is not a gauge in which God delves out rewards and punishments.

Those who offer the suffering, doubting or hopeless soul a simple “you just have to trust God!” as encouragement must have forgotten the examples of those who throughout scripture wholeheartedly trusted in God like Job, Joseph, King David, The Apostle Paul and even Jesus. Each one surrendered their full trust to God and yet still experienced brutal trials and tribulation throughout their lifetimes. The silver lining on this particularly “depressing” example is that in the end all of them were blessed because they endured and remained true to their faith.

When we pray “thy will be done”, we are often in a way, naively releasing things into the hands and control of a God who never promised to protect us from all the difficulties of life but a God “who in all things works for the of those who love Him”. I have heard that quoted countless times after the passing of close friends and family as sort of a mantra of comfort. I cling to that promise tightly, in some cases still awaiting those promised results.

Scripture instructs us to “trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding”. The underlining current of this statement is that life, more often than not, will refuse our demands that it make any sort of sense. Which, upon pondering further simply says to me “This is going to hurt a bit”.

Can we trust God? Well, look at his track record for yourself. However, a better question may be do we trust that God has our best interests at heart? I trust in a God whose “ways are not my ways”, A God that asks us to trust Him as He calls us to step out of the boat and walk to Him, who waits two days too long before visiting a loved one on their death bed and who sleeps comfortably while we weather the torrential storms on the sea. Often times we need a graceful reminder that He does indeed have our best interests at heart especially when that conclusion is clouded by the lose of a job, the failing health of a loved one, a deteriorating relationship and seemingly unfulfilled and unattainable desires or dreams.

Although appearing to be a bit of a “sacrilegious” quote, I can understand the feelings behind author Samuel Butler saying, “to put one's trust in God is only a longer way of saying that one will chance it”. Sometimes it does feel that way doesn’t it? Most certainly the act of placing ones trust in God should be done with much consideration and weighting of the cost. It isn’t for the half-hearted of fair-weather soul. As Brennan Manning put it in his book Ruthless Trust, “Unwavering trust is a rare and precious thing because it often demands a degree of courage that borders on the heroic…it requires heroic courage to trust in the love of God no matter what happens to us.” Although it may often seem as if we are “rolling the dice” when we place our complete trust in God, He will continually prove His trustworthiness as we courageously place our trust in Him.

The topic of trust brings to mind the chaotic Hollywood movie chase scenes in which the driver turns to his passenger who is cowering in his seat with white knuckles and says “trust me, I know what I am doing”, as he recklessly crashes through fruit stands and runs red lights while narrowly missing innocent pedestrians.

So with a wild-eyed expression on my face and white knuckles gripped tightly to my seat I continue to trust God as He navigates me through this life. I truly believe that He has my best interests at heart and that He is concerned with the smallest details of my life, however, as Mother Teresa was famous for saying “I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”

TO BE UNHOL(E)Y

When it comes to gauging pain I am the wrong person to ask. As someone who has never broken a bone, been beaten up (let alone been in a physical fight) or had more than a couple stitches, a recent case of food poisoning was probably the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. I couldn’t help but feel ashamed as I laid in bed writhing in pain as I thought about my wife bravely enduring child birth, my many friends and family members who have heroically conquered cancer and my grandfather who survived executions and extreme frigid temperatures, while sacrificing his legs and fingers in the Korean War. I’m pathetic I know, but according to my personal pain scale this food poisoning tore me up. So as I lay in bed at pains mercy without my usual distractions of YouTube, Facebook, movies, books and music to comfort me, all I could do was pray to God for relief.

I have a friend who, by all appearances, was happily married, had a beautiful daughter, enjoy her job and attended church regularly. However, as the years passed, unbeknownst to many of her friends, her marriage was deteriorating, her job was no longer fulfilling and her faith was simply superficial. Exhaustion and desperation finished off what was left of her strength and stability, which had been such assets of hers for so many years, however, from that place of brokenness new life began springing forth from that cracked and dry desert. She became much more honest about her life, humbly confessing her part in the faltering marriage while also speaking of her faith in real, genuine ways that I had never heard before.

I was reading Don Miller’s “Searching for God Knows What” the other day where he talked about Jesus and his message being unappealing to most everyone and that those who actually chose to follow him where the “oppressed, marginalized and the desperate”. Suddenly my experience of “suffering” from food poisoning and my friend watching the mirage of a happy life fade away spoke to me. I began to see that because of our dire circumstances we were both transported to places of desperation. I am beginning to understand that it is in such dark and lonely places that we can hear the desperate cries of our soul as it grasps for hope.

I have heard “religious types” say that every human soul has a God-shaped hole in it that we attempt to fill with everything imaginable from sex, money, drugs, friends, etc, and although such “junk” might satisfy for a time, only God can truly fulfill our souls longing. I don’t know how accurate that illustration is, but I have been around long enough to see that everyone of us has an ingrained longing, yearning and hunger for something more meaningful than this world has to offer. However, it is so much easier for us to turn up the music and keep ourselves distracted from the discontent of our souls than to completely surrender our lives to following and living out the message of Jesus.

The further I thought about this the more I realized that everything in our culture is geared around our finding pleasure, comfort and happiness with the sole purpose of silencing our disquieted souls. This morning for example, I woke up, put on a comfortable 100% cotton Hanes t-shirt, poured myself a cup of coffee and because I didn’t feel like cooking, had some Instant oatmeal. Later that afternoon I got bored of flipping through the hundreds of channels at my disposal and rummaging through the Internet in all of its glory, so I decided to jump in the car and head over to the mall to pick up those wonderfully comfortable Gel inserts for my shoes. Being worn out from all the shopping, I got a massage next to the Cell phone Kiosk where I later drooled over the newest phones.

My point is our culture has wired us to constantly seek pleasure and comfort. Heck, the Declaration of Independence tells us that we have a right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” and so we have bought into that idea, pursuing happiness no matter the cost, whether we lose family or friends striving to achieve it. We are people who constantly seek “noise” to drown out those cries of desperation from within our souls.

Sadly, the church is not immune to this problem either. Sunday mornings I often look around fearing whether we are just going through some religious motions, numb to the discontent of our souls. I admit to being among the many who have tirelessly pursued a calendar full of church activities, programs, classes and responsibilities to appease our guilty consciences. However, such religiousness is a poor substitute for the fulfilling spiritual life God intends for us.

In the scriptures, as in life, those who found it most difficult to accept the message of Jesus were those who had everything to lose. For instance, the rich young ruler who came to Jesus seeking justification yet walked away sorrowfully after he was challenged to forsake all of his comforts and the religious leaders who opposed the message of Jesus because it threatened their status of honor and admiration among the people. The comfort, success and privilege that both the wealthy young man and the religious elite enjoyed was their distraction from the nagging emptiness within.

On the other hand, it’s no wonder that those who sacrificed so much and risked ridicule to follow Jesus were the oppressed and broken people with absolutely nothing to lose. The disciples that Jesus would entrust to carry on Gods message of Love, salvation and grace were a cast of characters working in unfulfilling, unglamorous dead end jobs. Others who put their faith in Jesus included fathers whose children were at deaths door, a woman who had exhausted all her resources to find a cure for her sickness and a tax collector who was not only small in stature, but was also despised by those around him. Jesus followers were definitely a rag-tag bunch of social and religious misfits.

Although it may go against my entire nature I want to fall into this second group consisting of desperate people. The truth is that everyone is already there to begin with and we can either accept that fact and turn to God to be our strength and hope, or we can choose to strive, fight and claw our way to some “artificial” happiness that looks good on television and sells lots of magazines but will ultimately leave us empty and tired.

While I’d prefer to medicate it away or simply ignore it, there is something spiritual to be gleaned from life’s aches, pains, troubles and tribulations being that it is a tangible reminder of my humanity and also my mortality. Though it may not make much sense to this culture, every once in awhile I got to skip a meal or say no to something I’d rather be doing. It’s necessary if I wish to be desperate and not quench that thirst for spiritual things that matter most in life.

Some call it a crutch or a weakness to turn to God in moments of trouble, pain, uncertainty and fear, but where else should we turn? God himself instructs us to “call on me when you are in trouble”. Whereas, the Apostle Paul boasted in his frailties saying, “that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Our culture may glorify in the strength, courage, independence, and knowledge of humanity, however God celebrates in His humble, meek, reliant, sincere, and faithful servants.

It’s true that it shouldn’t take tragedy, discomfort, sickness, loneliness or complete desperation until we finally seek God. That is my point really, it shouldn’t take our world getting “rocked” for us to get serious about our spiritual lives, but more often than not it does take such extremes before we open our eyes to that reality.

So we can continue going to our churches and subscribe to all the “fluff” about Jesus (believing that he presented great moral teachings and basically cash in our “Insurance” when we die so we can go to heaven) right along with our Netflix and Entertainment Weekly but what we really need is a desperation for real spiritual impact in our lives. I’ll be honest, I am not desperate for God, in fact, I am not even close to being there and I have only met a few incredible people who are, but I want to be.

Occasionally we need to “turn-off” all of the distractions and allow ourselves to tune into the spiritual. Otherwise we are apt to escape into our own little worlds, jumping from one distraction to another, completely neglecting the one who offered, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Recycled blessings

It was a lethargic Sunday morning when I came into the living room. My roommate Micah was brewing coffee, which for him was more of a ritual than routine. I had fifteen minutes until church started which was just enough time to put on a counterfeit smile before I had to face my fellow "believers". Sure, if you don't want to go to church then don't go, but when you're the youth pastor your kinda obligated. Micah could sense from my body language that church was the last place I wanted to be today and suggested that we ditch, go get some coffee in us and walk around downtown. I was in just the mood to accept his offer.

As we rounded a corner there stood before us a beautiful, yet haunting Catholic Church that I had admired for years. The architecture of the building has a kind of gothic feel to it. There are eerie looking gargoyles placed strategically around the high walls that seem to follow you with their eyes as you pass. It is very reminiscent of the many churches that I've seen in horror movies were people flee to in search of refuge only to have bad things happen to them once inside.

The morning mass had just ended as people milled around in front of the building. Micah suggested we slip inside and check it out. As we entered, soaking up the whole atmosphere of the church, we sat on an old wooden pew in the last row in our best attempts at being inconspicuous. We only stayed for maybe five minutes half fearing that at any moment a priest would come running in frantically to throw us out, having recognizing us as imposters.
I don't know if it was because of the mystique of the building, its history, the architecture or the presents of God but those five minutes were an unexplainable spiritual experience for me. I'd like to think it was God who was there.

Over the years, in moments that I've been wrestling with my faith and myself I've returned to that mysterious and enchanting building. I stand in front peering up at the cross high above, trying to avoid the piercing eyes of the gargoyles, talking to God. Attempting to rekindle that same spiritual experience I once had here only to feel as dry and thirsty as the sun drenched ground I walk on.

Throughout my life I have found that I take my incredible personal experiences whether it is a place where I have experienced God, an adventure with friends or a magical moment with my wife and I turn them into something sacred and holy. In my memory they become hallowed moments that I hope to be able to relive over and over. However, I've found that you can return to an incredible camping spot, a magical concert, a late night conversation with a close friend or a long road trip yet the experience will never be the same nor will it ever live up to the way you want to remember it.

Yet, knowing it is futile I still peer into the rearview mirror at my life instead of gazing forward to the one stretching out before me. I continue to long for the incredible things I've already seen and done in my life whether it is visiting China, reliving the day I married, watching my daughters birth, hiking into the grand canyon or simply hearing a song for the first time. However, I run the risk of missing something life changing today if I am only focusing on the things that happened yesterday.

I do find some solace however, having come to the realization that I'm not alone. As a society we long to hold on to the glory days and rekindle a bit of the past. Perhaps for our own amusement and distraction we recycle the old satisfactions of yesterday. We long to return either physically or mentally to an experience, or moment that we hold onto as something to be cherished. For some it is the desire to hold onto their youth by covering up the wrinkles and gray hair. For others time is spent in daydreaming of an old flame and the feelings they shared. For many it is as simple as their weekly routine of worship at church or even the monotonousness of daily life. Of the many examples humanity gives us as they grasp tightly to the past, the one thing they all have in common is the refusal to let go.

At times it would appear that we yearn to relive our happiest moments and are content to continue in our dreary daily routines out of fear. Could it be that deep down inside we are terrified of a letdown? We have been hurt, disappointed, forsaken and unimpressed and as a result we only halfheartedly chase after any new dreams or experiences. We are finished with giving our hearts or at the very least our time towards something or someone that may only bear for us a fruitless or unfulfilling end.

As a result many of us choose to stay put, sitting in front of a church daring our God to show up like he once did. Well, others sit at home all alone refusing to take a chance to meet anyone new and face possible rejection. There are some who continue on in the same lifeless job or in pursuit of the same unrewarding education instead of opting for an adventure into the unknown. Sadly, out of this fear or at the very least anxiety, many people settle for the tedious life without ever truly experiencing the full potential of their spiritual and physical lives.

I personally believe in a God who delights in our wonder and excitement. Look around; I believe that a God that had a hand in all of this is not short on ideas for blowing our minds. A God who brought into being the rivers and mountains, the constellations, the creatures and all the different people surely knows a thing or two about sacred moments and experiences.

This may sound egocentric or prideful to say but I believe that God has a lot of blessings ahead for my family and I. I've yet to even scratch the surface of "spiritual" places or "sacred" things I have yet to encounter. I'm pretty sure that God has great things ahead for all of us, but we have to look with expectation to tomorrow.

I haven't gone looking for God at that enchanted Catholic Church in a long time, because although God is everywhere, he isn't there anymore. He has moved on to lead me somewhere further down the road. He won't allow me to stay in that moment and urges me to find him in the next place as he leads me. He won't allow me to stunt my spiritual growth. Just like he may be leading you to move on from a relationship, a hurt, a spiritual milestone; so you can experience what he has waiting for you. I for one don't want to miss a moment while I sit worshiping at the altars of past experiences. I want to live my life in such a way as to continue to live in the blessings.

Yeah, I will have plenty more lethargic Sunday mornings but looking back some of the hardest days end in the greatest blessing.

No, Doubt About it!

The Person who has doubts about something and then does it stands condemned because he is not true to his convictions and does not act from faith. Whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is wrong. The Apostle Paul

It is a peaceful summer morning as I sit outside of my favorite coffeehouse. The mood around me is light being that it is too early in the day for such serious conversation as the economy or politics. Most of my fellow patrons sip their morning coffee as they read the news while others make small talk over a plate of skinny pancakes. I sit in my usual spot on the porch that overlooks the whole outdoor seating area. A great place to sit and watch people come and go. My usual companions join me on this occasion, a notebook, several books and my MP3 player that is blasting some random indie band that I happen to think is cool at the moment.

As the sun gathers momentum and continues to climb in the sky, I sit with a book lying open on my lap, pages flipping in the wind while the song I was listening to has long since ended. My gaze is focused on a far off place as I am lost in one of my moments were I am taking stock of my life. I sit pondering the many questions I have about my life wondering whether what I am doing is what I should be doing and whether I am living the way I should be living.

Sure, not a groundbreaking, or mind blowing question really. Probably most of you reading this ask yourself the same question on a regular basis. "Is this what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life?" "Am I living my life the way I should be?" "should I find another job, or go back to school?" "What about all the people in need around the world and in my neighborhood, I should be doing something about that, but what?"

I don't believe these are just the questions of youth, twenty-something's or those experiencing some sort of a mid-life crisis. These are questions we continue to ask ourselves throughout our lifetime. Media, capitalism, consumerism, government, and religion in their selfishness volunteer their assistance to us by giving us their answers and telling us what they believe we should be doing. Amidst all of their “noise” only confusion, frustration and apathy are birthed within us. The doubts persist and the questions continue to swirl around us.

The quote from Paul the Apostle speaks to my situation and I feel at least gives me a point from where to start answering questions. After reading his words and reflecting upon my own life I came to the conclusion that I must build stronger personal convictions not only in the things in which I believe, but also the issues that I waiver on. This is not easy to admit but too often my convictions and beliefs are easily swayed by politics, religion or by a person with strong charisma. Sadly it's happening to many of us. We don't know if we are living the life we are supposed to because we are waiting for someone to tell us so. We don't know the next step to take until someone tells us where to go.

Throughout history religious, political and charismatic leaders have used rules, guidelines and commands to control, use and mold their followers. I have been involved in church long enough see the power of the manipulation machine for myself. I admit that when I was a leader in the church I even took part in the pulling of strings. Oh, it's easy really; you just have to have the lighting just right and the music just so.

Therefore, whether it's a message coming from politics, religion, parents or a trusted friend we should gather that information and process it critically. We need to have our own strong convictions and beliefs. We need to be confident in who we are and not rely on the acceptance of others. Then and only then will the whispers of doubt grow silent and a new confidence will arise.

Paul the Apostle was encouraging those who would hear his words to critical thinking. What I hear him saying is that despite what some my want you to believe there really are a lot of gray areas and that not everything is black and white, right or wrong. These are some very dangerous ideas that many religious leaders would rather not have you hear, but the truth is there is an awful lot of freedom given to us by God. Of course with that freedom comes responsibility. We have a responsibility to respect others convictions and beliefs. We have a responsibility to be life students and grow in our wisdom and knowledge. We have a responsibility to build for ourselves strong convictions and firm footing on which we stand.

Think critically, meditate and process everything. Ask questions and seek answers. Don't proceed until you have dealt with any doubts you may have and are confident in the answer. Doubt doesn't have to be something we view negatively or as a weakness as long as we confront our uncertainties. It is a strong beam of light that exposes the cracks and holes in who we are and what we believe. Once we begin filling those places with knowledge, experience and faith we become stronger people with secure convictions.

So how do we know we are doing what we are meant to do with our lives and living our life to it's fullest? When we live a life that abides by our convictions, beliefs and standards that God has place in us. When we know we are being true to ourselves and to the person God created us to be we are living the life we should. When doubt and fear no longer reigns over our thoughts and our lives.

If there is an area or issue in our life that harbors doubt then we know where to start. Being responsible means we don't act on something if we are unsure. Maybe that means starting with your faith and what you believe. It could possibly even mean starting with you. Whatever area of your life contains doubt begin to build confidence.

We could spend our lives sitting around coffeehouses and bars doubting, wondering and questioning our lives and actions. However, the world in its current state and situation needs people who are ready to react and respond confidently.

What that will look like for you I can't really say, I'm still working on things for myself. Yet, once we have firm convictions and beliefs maybe that will guide you to find a new roommate, take a summer break to volunteer your time to serve others, ride your bike to work to help the environment. Maybe you will stop whining about your career, job, schoolwork, family, etc and start focusing on the positives, begin writing letters to those who have power to make changes, not listen to others but decide for yourself who you will vote for.

We need to take a look at our lives and the world we live in and face those things that make us uncomfortable. It's wrong for us to keep on living like there is nothing wrong and living each day the same when we have doubts. Its time to find who we really are and what we stand for.