Priceless Lessons from Worthless Things

I met inspiration the other day. I met inspiration thanks to a broken down old lawn mower that I had listed on Craigslist on the outside chance that someone might give me enough for it to buy a cup of coffee or in the very least in hopes I might get it out of the yard. In my natural salesman like genious I tagged the ad with an optimistic “great for someone who knows how to fix an engine!”

And that is how I ended up getting a call from Don the following morning inquiring about the mower. “Is it still available?” he asked with hope in his voice. now, obviously people hadn’t begun lining up yet at the chance to snatch up the mower that had probably been collecting dirt in the backyard for years while the sun did its best to crack and fade the color of every plastic part. So I was happy to inform him that "yes it is still here!"

I liked Don right away over the phone. It was a brief conversation, littered from his end with phrases like “right on, man!” and “cool, no problem!” He spoke with a lot of energy and life, especially considering our conversation revolved around what I considered an afterthought of an old, useless mower. From his voice alone I imagined Don to be a fifty-year-old free spirited type, most likely an seasoned surfer or an aging musician.

The cloud of black and gray smoke had barely cleared the area from my test start-up attempt on the mostly lifeless mower when Don pulled into the driveway. As I coughed to clear my lungs from smoke, I watched as he slowly stumbled out of his Toyota 4-Runner, barely straightening up from a seated position as he began moving in my direction, dragging one foot behind him and holding  the other crooked and gnarled like an old tree branch by his side. He apologized from a distance at his sluggish trek, casually and without a hint of embarressment chalking it up to the two strokes he had suffered in the past few years.

Despite his uncooperative body, Don spoke with so much life and passion like he had earlier on the phone, that it almost completely compensated for his nearly lifeless right side of his body.  He radiated such an enthusiasm for even the most mundane details which allowed no room for feeling sorry for him, although you might (like I did), feel a bit guilty and subconscious of your own self-pity, laziness or pessimism in his presences.

Don looked down at the mower, quickly dismissing my offer to start it up for him, taking me at my word that it does indeed start as he handed me a $20 bill with his good hand. He then preceeded to go right into his story as if he somehow owed me an explanation, although the level of intrigue was probably clearly seen in my face. He explained  to me that working on lawn mower engines was a hobby of his to keep himself busy, to keep himself functioning, useful and in the very least to simply keep himself sane after his strokes. He said “I might fumble trying to line up a bolt all day long, but in the end I have a great feeling of accomplishment when I finish one of these!” nodding towards the mower. He explained that it was either this or sitting on the couch watching television and feeling sorry for himself while he simply waited to die. Knowing Don as well as I did in those five minutes I knew he could never let that happen! He has too much life, too much optimism, too much resolve to fade away like that.

And so rescuing lawn mowers from garages, sheds and overgrown back yards gives Don an incredibly lifegiving purpose, and in turn he slowly resurrects those old, forgotten machines and gives them a second chance at life as well.

One of the things I really became aware of from this whole experience was how we spend so much time and energy, sweat and tears in life grasping for, seeking to understand and finally accomplish some sort of great purpose, reason for being, or legacy.  And it must be something great, something noble, something impactful that fuels our march through life. Sure, we can point to our family, children, spouses, friends and careers as proof of our greatest accomplishments and rightly so, but often that isn't enough and we selfishly long for more still unfulfilled.

And then there is Don who finds treasure in other peoples trash. Someone who sees victory in lining up a few bolts, screwing in a spark plug and finally starting up that old engine made new again.

I feel like I got so much more than a few bucks for a cup of coffee, but that I got some deep and impactful lessons that are relevant to my life! And when you meet someone like Don who drops such gifts into your life, you are wise to unwrap them and meditate upon them!

SOMETHING WE CAN"T BE

I confess to a tendency of being a bit critical, cynical and even unfair at times when I analyze (call it “judge” if you like) how the Sunday morning Christian church represents themselves through preaching, music, tithes, announcements, skits, dramas, etc. Sometimes that cynicism can be constructive and at other times it is neither productive nor beneficial in the least, it merely fuels my own self-righteousness (not a good thing!).

So recently during the praise and worship portion of the church service, the lyrics “a thousand times I have failed” caught my attention. I immediately began contemplating the dynamics of failure in relation to my spiritual life. That is until the very next song began with a similarly themed verse of “all my fears and failures”, at which point I quickly sat down, grabbed a pen and jotted down this “coincidence” for later deliberation.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the heart of the songwriters, obviously it is quite true that we have all “fallen short of the glory of God”. We also know God to be gracious, sympathetic and forgiving, in whom we can openly confess our struggles (sins) without the burden of guilt or condemnation.

Furthermore, I cannot neglect the fact that Christianity has admirably made strides towards becoming more honest and transparent, abandoning the façade of holiness and hypocrisy that so often identifies us. And I don’t mean to undue any of that here nor do I beckon a return to such a destructive “fairy-tale” version of spiritual living.

However, there is a danger to the health and well-being of our faith when we get hung up on such self-critical, self-labeling and condemning thoughts of being failures. And I have been there, fruitlessly despairing over my transgressions within my spiritual life and relationship with God. Sadly, I don’t believe my experience is an isolated incident, but is a common hindrance to the spiritual growth of many.

I am not suggesting that we stop singing our songs of repentance, which I love actually, however we cannot continue to remain in such a place of mourning over and reflecting upon our past sins. The word failure references something that has happened in our past and God is more concerned with our present and our future. We need to forgive ourselves (because God has already forgiven us) and move on.

In his book Velvet Elvis, Rob Bell recounts a conversation he had over lunch with a new follower of Jesus who laments about his struggles with sin and his continual failures. Rob assessed that “becoming a Christian had given him all sorts of things to feel guilty about. I wondered if becoming a Christian had made his life not better but actually worse.” And this is what I don’t want to see happening to people, the message of the Gospels is supposedly “good news” after all.

It is finding the positive in a fallen world as C.S. Lewis did in writing that “we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven”. Thus, since our failures are forgiven, then they are gone, no longer an embarrassing stain that wrecks havoc on our self-conscious. We cannot be defined by something that has been removed. Can you be a failure when God no longer recognizes the failings? Somewhere, somehow people are not getting this message or they are hearing the wrong message entirely.

I am concerned with the message because the truth is that we can only fail when we are striving towards something or when we try to live up to some unrealistic expectations that we have placed upon ourselves. Spiritual holiness and perfection cannot be earned or attained neither by our own good deeds nor by our obedience to some spiritual rites. As Philip Yancey so beautifully wrote, “Grace comes from the outside, as a gift and not an achievement.”

The Scriptures tell us “there is no one righteous” not as a word of condemnation, but as a message of freedom. It is a truth in which we are to exist and reside within. We need to come to peace with this in our heavily competitive and self-reliant culture, because despite our very best efforts we will never stack up, we will only find ourselves exhausted and burned out. When Jesus offered all those who were “weary and burdened to come to him to find rest”, he was speaking to a religious culture that strived tirelessly to please God through good works and obedience to the law. Instead of striving to earn our “gold stars”, we must consciously choose to live within the undeserved, unearned favor of God.

If our motivation to do good works is simply to please God and to earn his love and acceptance, then we are striving for something we already possess. To again quote Rob Bell, “There is this person who we already are in God’s eyes and we are learning to live like it is true…God is not interested in shaming people. God wants people to see who they really are.”

And we are people who have been “Justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Through Jesus, God has done his part to redeem everyone, and I mean EVERYONE on the planet, our response is to come to terms with that and live like we believe it is true. Living such good lives, obeying His instruction because of our gratefulness for what he has done and for the freedom we have been given.

And yet, the pious will continue to self-righteously bring before God their resume of “glowing marks” and outstanding accomplishments, ignoring the fact that scripture calls those acts “filthy rags”. We cannot hope to impress God by any actions of our own, after all He is our creator and upon finishing his great masterpiece declared it good. It is completely arrogant for anyone to truly believe that they could impress the maker of the planets, stars, sun and moon. As scripture points out, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” (NLT)

Now all this talk of living free of guilt and shame when we accept Gods free gifts of salvation and grace are wonderfully poignant but in the reality of our lives it is a painstakingly difficult idea to grasp or live out. Truth is, that in all areas of society we are governed by certain rules that convey to us, whether audibly or not, that we must earn respect, raises, good grades, trust, love, credit, etc. As we learn from an early age, “there is no such thing as a free lunch”. Growing up in such an atmosphere makes it difficult for us to accept God’s grace without any strings attached.

Scripture tells us “without faith it is impossible to please God”. I would argue that those who strive to please God have in actuality little, to no faith at all. They have no faith that He is in control, that he has forgiven them, that he cares for them and that his grace is enough. Perhaps to appease their own guilty conscience, they strive for the approval of God, however, being faithless they toil and labor in vain. In effect their actions and good works give witness to their unbelief.

The thing that struck me the most about the God that Mack encountered in last years ever-popular book The Shack was a God who, being omniscient, had no need to place any expectations upon His beloved creation. In the book, God explains to Mack that because He does not place any expectations upon us, we therefore never disappoint Him. I don’t know about you, but from where I’ve been within the “church world” the idea that we never disappoint God is revolutionary. Such a truth should free us from all of our fruitless striving to please God and allow us to instead live truly fulfilling spiritual lives.

It is only out of such knowledge as this that we can actually desire to live and succeed in living holy lives, knowing that if we stumble somewhere along the way that we haven’t disappointed God. The point of living our lives at a higher standard isn’t to please God, which we have already established we cannot do, but simply because it is a healthier way to live this life.

Every one of us can relate to the terrible sting, stigma and struggles caused by failure in our lives, whether it has attached itself to a marriage, job, business, friendship, ministry or whatever. The possibility of failure is the cause of many detours and delays in our lives as we are paralyzed by fear and worry.

Yet, there remains one area of our lives we are afforded freedom from the weight of doubt, fear and guilt associated with failure and that place is in our relationship with God. He gives us everything we need for life and life abundantly without our having to strive to earn it. It’s a win, win situation really…how could we fail?