Most Everything Turns to Sh!t...(Rejoice, Rejoice, Rejoice!)

I had one of those mornings with the kids today. They seemed to be conspiring against me as we couldn't find a matching pair of shoes, jackets grew legs and walked away and apparently the breakfast cereal was too soggy to eat. They were dragging there little feet to get ready for school and now we were running late! As a result some things were said on both ends in the heat of battle that we all quickly hated and regretted. 

Those mornings always hang a cloud of regret, sorrow and failure over the start of the day.

However, after finally getting my little "angels" safely to their destinations I now had the morning to myself. So I took a deep breath, exhaled and headed downtown for some coffee, quiet and regrouping.

My hometown has become the rehab capital of the U.S. if not the world. It definitely comes with its critics, obviously it is not something that is openly embraced or advertised on the City of Commerce web page. 

As I walk downtown I pass the "rehab kids" who scamper to and fro heading to their various recovery meetings, or who are simply passing the time smoking cigarettes trying their best to stay out of trouble.

I can't help but feel for them. So young and yet so much baggage already. I can't help but think of the families, the parents and the friendships laid to waste by the destructive power of addiction. I cannot even imagine having lost so much at such a young age, to have inflicted so much hurt on those you love and also to have suffered themselves at the hands of their sickness and disease.

The rehabs and the "recovery kids" are something that many don't want to see littering and loitering the streets of our fine city. I get that, sometimes I echo that, but man, to be one of these kids facing what they have to face, it is heartbreaking.

As I continue down the block I stop at a newspaper stand and read the front page headlines as is part of my routine. I don't have to read much further than the headline that reads "ISIS beheaded 21 Egyptian Christians" to walk away shaking my head wondering how sick and twisted this world is. Sadly this isn't anything new, since Cain brutally killed his brother in a fit of jealousy and rage humankind has found different ways to be evil and then inflict their sickness on others.

And evidence of tragedy and evil hits home as I draw closer to my destination. A memorial filled with flowers, stuffed animals and cards of grief, condolences and thankfulness surrounds a temporary sign that pleads "Pray for Kayla" at a street corner of the county courthouse. A few weeks prior the news hit our little community that one of our own, 26-year-old Kayla Mueller had been held hostage by the Islamic State for over a year and now was feared dead. The city and nation held its collective breath, hoping and praying for some kind of miracle, some hint of good news. 

Sadly days later it was confirmed that Layla was killed, that evil indeed had prevailed again, even if only for a moment. Because the truth is that evil and death can do very little to dim such a bright light that Kayla shined and left behind.

With all the mornings events bombarding my thoughts, I finally arrived at my destination. However coffee didn't sound as satisfying anymore and I was in no mood for reading, writing or anything else. What hope can be gleaned from a morning like this? From a world like this?

The generic Christian answer that "one day this will all be over, and there will be no more tears, pain, suffering or death" does little in the moment does it? Sure this IS everything, it IS the answer, but it is also hard to rejoice at the future relief of pain at the beginning of a root canal.

What solace can be taken in a world gone mad?

And somehow it came to me and I am not entirely sure if it makes sense and it defiantly doesn't make all the hurt better for the families of the 21 martyrs or Kayla's family, or even the "rehab kids" trying not to become a sad statistic of drug addiction.

What I take from this is that we are ALL victims of this fallen world, we all suffer, hurt and struggle (unfortunately some more than others). 

The reason we shed tears for strangers we have never met and why memorials overflow with flowers from strangers is because we can empathize with the pain. Perhaps our suffering and sadness doesn't seem as dark or deep but it hurts just the same. I can look in the eyes of the "rehab kid" and not know his particular struggle, but I know the equivalent of his pain.

And we don't have to compare stories, or rate who suffered more. The point is we have. We have hurts, pains and heartbreak. Sure, one day that will all be gone and there will be healing and forgiveness and reunion with those we love, but for the here and now we share in this mess!

Humanity shares In each others pain, because we know it, and as much as we don't like it, it brings us together to share in it.

We don't have to suffer alone. Sure we can choose to, but that is a decision not to live, or at least live life, or each day or each moment to its fullest.

My morning wasn't great, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't the worst either. Regardless, I have to regroup, forgive and push on, because this mess isn't unique to only me.

Life is a mess, but as Kayla Mueller saw it, God is in the mess with us.

“I find God in the suffering eyes reflected in mine. If this is how You are revealed to me, this is how I will forever seek You.”

— Kayla Mueller, 2011

"For the more we suffer and endure hardships, the more God will shower us with His comfort."

-The Apostle Paul 2 Corinthians 1:5

Please take the time to read this Washington Post article about the inspiring life of Kayla Mueller!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/remembering-the-remarkable-kayla-mueller/2015/02/13/2fe2377c-b382-11e4-886b-c22184f27c35_story.html

Priceless Lessons from Worthless Things

I met inspiration the other day. I met inspiration thanks to a broken down old lawn mower that I had listed on Craigslist on the outside chance that someone might give me enough for it to buy a cup of coffee or in the very least in hopes I might get it out of the yard. In my natural salesman like genious I tagged the ad with an optimistic “great for someone who knows how to fix an engine!”

And that is how I ended up getting a call from Don the following morning inquiring about the mower. “Is it still available?” he asked with hope in his voice. now, obviously people hadn’t begun lining up yet at the chance to snatch up the mower that had probably been collecting dirt in the backyard for years while the sun did its best to crack and fade the color of every plastic part. So I was happy to inform him that "yes it is still here!"

I liked Don right away over the phone. It was a brief conversation, littered from his end with phrases like “right on, man!” and “cool, no problem!” He spoke with a lot of energy and life, especially considering our conversation revolved around what I considered an afterthought of an old, useless mower. From his voice alone I imagined Don to be a fifty-year-old free spirited type, most likely an seasoned surfer or an aging musician.

The cloud of black and gray smoke had barely cleared the area from my test start-up attempt on the mostly lifeless mower when Don pulled into the driveway. As I coughed to clear my lungs from smoke, I watched as he slowly stumbled out of his Toyota 4-Runner, barely straightening up from a seated position as he began moving in my direction, dragging one foot behind him and holding  the other crooked and gnarled like an old tree branch by his side. He apologized from a distance at his sluggish trek, casually and without a hint of embarressment chalking it up to the two strokes he had suffered in the past few years.

Despite his uncooperative body, Don spoke with so much life and passion like he had earlier on the phone, that it almost completely compensated for his nearly lifeless right side of his body.  He radiated such an enthusiasm for even the most mundane details which allowed no room for feeling sorry for him, although you might (like I did), feel a bit guilty and subconscious of your own self-pity, laziness or pessimism in his presences.

Don looked down at the mower, quickly dismissing my offer to start it up for him, taking me at my word that it does indeed start as he handed me a $20 bill with his good hand. He then preceeded to go right into his story as if he somehow owed me an explanation, although the level of intrigue was probably clearly seen in my face. He explained  to me that working on lawn mower engines was a hobby of his to keep himself busy, to keep himself functioning, useful and in the very least to simply keep himself sane after his strokes. He said “I might fumble trying to line up a bolt all day long, but in the end I have a great feeling of accomplishment when I finish one of these!” nodding towards the mower. He explained that it was either this or sitting on the couch watching television and feeling sorry for himself while he simply waited to die. Knowing Don as well as I did in those five minutes I knew he could never let that happen! He has too much life, too much optimism, too much resolve to fade away like that.

And so rescuing lawn mowers from garages, sheds and overgrown back yards gives Don an incredibly lifegiving purpose, and in turn he slowly resurrects those old, forgotten machines and gives them a second chance at life as well.

One of the things I really became aware of from this whole experience was how we spend so much time and energy, sweat and tears in life grasping for, seeking to understand and finally accomplish some sort of great purpose, reason for being, or legacy.  And it must be something great, something noble, something impactful that fuels our march through life. Sure, we can point to our family, children, spouses, friends and careers as proof of our greatest accomplishments and rightly so, but often that isn't enough and we selfishly long for more still unfulfilled.

And then there is Don who finds treasure in other peoples trash. Someone who sees victory in lining up a few bolts, screwing in a spark plug and finally starting up that old engine made new again.

I feel like I got so much more than a few bucks for a cup of coffee, but that I got some deep and impactful lessons that are relevant to my life! And when you meet someone like Don who drops such gifts into your life, you are wise to unwrap them and meditate upon them!

Status Update

It is a tumultuous time we live in. Our Nation is embroiled in gun, marriage and reproductive rights debates and battles. We still face racial prejuidice and inequality as the events in Ferguson have so brightly shined a spotlight on issues that have been lurking in the shadows for years and exist in all facets of our society.

Good lord if I can’t have a cup of coffee in the morning and scroll through my Facebook feed or peruse my favorite news homepage without feeling bombarded with it all! Half of our Country is angry as hell about who is leading this Nation, half the country wants to “legalize it” and a good majority just want to see Tebow get a fair shot at quarterback or see if a certian team can win The Super Bowl with a properly inflated football.

We are torn apart and turned around in all different directions; most of the time unsure which end is up.

Our society is all about debating, scrutinizing, judging and most of all fervently disagreeing with one another. Every news program, reality television show and online forum attests to this truth. For each person who stands for something there is someone else who will stand against it. For instance, when I am out having coffee with a group of friends who may even agree on a certain subject there is always one or two people that can’t help playing the devil’s advocate just to keep the conversation “spicy”.

It can be fun, it can make us feel empowered, we can even learn something from it, but if conflict and disagreement is all we ever do than in the end all we really are is distracted. We are being distracted from the things that deep down really matter.

I admit that over the past few years I have been distracted myself and spent too much time being angry with certian politics, certian churches (Westboro Baptist) and a certain chicken sandwich franchise everyone was divided upon supporting. And every year I devote too much of my valuable time reading articles and box scores of my favorite baseball team from the North Side of Chicago (although I do consider it a long term investment).

We all have worries and wants, passions and perspectives, convictions and concerns. There are things that we all believe are worthy to stand for, fight for and we should. However, although some of these social and political issues are truly important I can’t help but believe that we often are caught in a kind of tunnel vision, so focused on the things we are passionate about and yet missing the point, the bigger picture.

Currently that means that many people are afraid that our right to bare arms to protect ourselves and keep the government honest is being threatened. Yet I have to wonder if our Government is remotely concerned with a population so preoccupied by social networking sites, television, smart phones and celebrity worship? The majority of America has no idea what is really going on because we are too busy playing Trivia Crack on their mobile device.

The Government already has us right where it wants us, distracted. We are like those videos on YouTube of people caught on surveillance video walking into bears (seriously?) or falling into fountains because they are so busy texting and not paying attention to where they are going.  

Others are concerned with the dangers of legalizing medical marijuana yet they don’t even question the fact that people are prescribed chemically created and engineered medications (from Pharmaceutical companies who line our politicians pockets with kickbacks) that have quickly become our nations most abused, dangerous and deadly drugs.

People rant and rave about our Nation’s health care system, as we stuff our faces with Big Macs, drink Carmel Macchiatos with extra syrup and allow our Gym memberships to lapse.

Everyone is concerned with Government spending and our Countries ever increasing debt and yet when it comes to our own personal finances we spend and borrow in excess without saving a dime while simultaneously botching our checkbooks and failing to even put together a budget.

Many people fight to protect traditional marriage from “alternative lifestyles” yet we do very little to strengthen or even protect the marriages we already have.

We complain about Government yet we don’t vote in local elections or even attend PTA meetings of the schools our children attend.

I witness all of this transpiring in society at large but sadly I see similarities of this happening within my faith and church as well.

It is no secret that the Church has fractured apart into so many little cliques and disgruntled family members throughout our cities and towns that we can hardly keep count. Sometimes it happens because of deep theological differences and sometimes it happens because someone made a negative comment about someone else’s homemade potato salad at the church potluck.

We fight incisively about who will get into heaven or if there even is a literal hell as people suffer and live in "hell" all around us every day

We squabble over correct interpretations and versions of the Bible that only serve to collect dust on shelves of believers anyways instead of being thankful people are inspired to read it no matter the language used.

We spend time and money on seminars, books and meetings so our churches can be more “hip” and “relevant”, while people who live outside the four-walls of church live every day with their own relevant concerns, hurts and needs.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying our convictions, feelings and beliefs are unimportant or even all wrong. However, we cannot allow ourselves to become stagnant or useless because we are paralyzed by a certain issue or concern. And that is my whole point here. So often we only get passionate about the headlines, the highlighted content, the Tweets, the juicy sound bites and we ignore the whole content of the story, the sources, the consequences

We see this every election year. Many people became so troubled, so focus on a handful of issues and political candidates while ignoring a world of more pressing ones. The world doesn't stop turning so we can focus all of our energies on politics and winning. People were still going hungry, wars still raged, marriages were falling apart and children were still abused.

We can’t allow ourselves to become like the futuristic people prophesied about in the Pixar movie WALL-E who lay around all day in a hover/wheel chair with computer screens in front of them and Slurpee’s in their cup holders. They were so overfed and distracted that they become a useless people that lacked the muscle tone to even stand up.

My challenge to us all (for sure myself included) is to branch out and broaden our horizons. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, mow your neighbor’s lawn or have a cup of coffee with a friend.

Read a book, watch a documentary or have a conversation with someone that challenges rather that validates your beliefs.

Say a prayer (instead of complain) for those who lead you whether it be a boss, a pastor or yes, even the President.

Speak life rather than death. SPEAK LIFE RATHER THAN DEATH!

Be optimistic…yeah, in this world we will have troubles, but if you’re someone who professes faith like I do than remember that Jesus took care of it so you don’t have too! All of our concerns, worries and fears accomplish NOTHING; put your hope in the one who accomplished everything!

Heck, take a picture of your kids, an awe-inspiring sunset or even the incredibly tantalizing food that has been placed in front of you and upload it via Twitter or Facebook every once in awhile. Then at the very least the rest of us will know that you are getting out of the house and doing something.

Most of all, as the Apostle Paul encouraged, “set your mind on things above!”

Those We Seak Not Of (Addressing the "gay debate" part II)

-As I declared in my previous post, Christianity finds itself in a time of great opportunity and responsibility to bless and minister to the gay and lesbian communities. I understand that the idea of allowing gays and lesbians into the church may be too controversial, uncomfortable and disruptive for many. It is urgent then that Christians personally step outside of the comfort and protection of those “four walls” and serve, love, listen, pray, comfort and make lasting friendships with gays, lesbians, bisexuals or transsexuals when their church cannot. If the gay community is unwelcome and uncomfortable in a church setting then we must take the church to them.  

                It’s no surprise that many Christians would be tentative, uncomfortable and furthermore ill equipped in responding to such an appeal. Christianity as a whole has for years presented mixed messages concerning how its members are to love their gay neighbors while remaining true to their morals and standards. We want to know what "loving the sinner, hating the sin" looks like and if it’s even practical or effective. To this day Christianity remains painfully slow in addressing this issue or presenting any clear direction for its followers who desire answers in responding to their Gay, Lesbian, Bi or Transgendered neighbors, co-workers, friends and families who stand before them right now!

 

                A good place to start if we wish to be sensitive and loving to gays and lesbians is to discontinue to believe, preach, teach or have anything to do with the idea that homosexuals are without morals, promiscuous, pedophiles and unfit to parent. The truth is that many Gays and lesbians do attend church, believe in God and have high moral standards. Some find themselves in committed long lasting relationships while others remain single or even choose a life of celibacy. Furthermore, gays and lesbians raise good kids and have healthy family lives. People have attached these negative characteristics to gays and lesbians to build their cases against them. If you can contend that Gay people are somehow “inhuman”, wildly immoral or dangerous it is easier to recruit people to your “side” of the argument. But the misinformation, lies and slander has only raised hostility, birthed hatred and caused widening division between the “sides”. Somehow the representatives of God’s unfailing love, redemption and grace find themselves on a “side” and we must make our way to the middle.        

            In our aim to be relevant to gays, lesbians and everyone else for that matter, we must practice the instruction of Jesus when he commanded us to “do to others as you would have them do to you”. If I wish to be treated with grace and mercy than I must extend it to others, if I am going to demand that I am respected and treated fairly than I must treat others likewise. If I want others to listen when I talk than I must give attention to their voice. How we want to be treated by others is how we must treat them now.

In addressing the idea of loving our neighbors, C.S. Lewis writes, “you have never talked to a mere mortal…next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.” He goes on to present the idea that by loving and encouraging one another we are assisting each other to our full potentials as not only humans but eternal souls. Finally C.S. Lewis concludes, “it is in light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play and all politics.” We should live our lives with the perspective that each person, each eternal soul is precious to God and it is our responsibility to nurture and encourage one another.

            When I encounter someone who is gay or lesbian my heart goes out to them and I go out of my way to be kind, considerate and friendly. My wife, Sarah recently shared with me that she had similar feelings. She recounted an experience from when she worked in a dentist office in which some of the staff refused to assist a gay couple that had HIV. However, Sarah always enthusiastically volunteered to assist the dentist when this particular couple had an appointment. Sarah said she always went out of her way to be friendly and treat them with care and concern, going above and beyond for them because she knew that they probably weren’t always treated with such dignity and respect because of their sexuality and their disease. Like Tony Campolo wrote in Speaking My Mind, “We must find ways to present homosexuals with opportunities to have fulfilling, loving experiences so that we affirm their humanity and ensure their participation in the body of Christ.”

                The Biblical scriptures are full of such incredibly uplifting and hopeful passages concerning God sending his only Son to die for us, His compassion and grace, His goodness towards all of His creation, His offer of a life lived abundantly, rest for our souls and a hope that only comes from Him. These promises, these verses of hope, these passages of grace and love is God’s message to all people, including widows, the oppressed, the sinners, the alcoholics, straight, gay and lesbian of every race, color and background. There must be good news for homosexuals, because God also had them in mind when He inspired the scriptures.

Honestly the politics and debates concerning this whole issue are nauseating. I often wonder whether it is fair for us to expect the world around us to adhere to our biblical standards. Perhaps we can affect society more fruitfully when we focus on loving people unconditionally. David Kinnaman writes in “Unchristian”, “You change a country not merely by bolstering its laws but by transforming the hearts of its people”. We might win a proposition or Supreme Court decision, but at what cost? Are we willing to completely alienate an entire generation of people and lose their audience to win our moral battles? Maybe we need to reevaluate our focus and mission because although we might have the best of intentions, the world doesn’t perceive our actions out of an obligation of love. To be honest, we don’t always have the best interests of people at heart, what we have is our agendas. Sometimes we are more concerned with being right than we are with the feelings and the well-being of an eternal soul. 

            As Christians, everything we do should be motivated out of compassion for others. If we have any other motive, whether it is anger, hurt, self-righteousness, resentment or offense, than we should stay out of it. The world will see right through our empty actions if it is not executed out of compassion. 

Some Christians will argue that we will somehow be condoning the LGBT communities or that we are being too sympathetic by extending to them such grace. However, don’t they deserve to know and observe the message of Gods redemption and mercy? When we stand before God to be judged someday I don’t believe that He will condemn us because we extended too much grace, cared too much, was overly tolerant and excepting of others, excessively kind and loving. However, scripture is clear that we will be judged in the manner in which we judged others and we will be held accountable for withholding justice, blessing, forgiveness and love. I prefer to error on the side of loving too much.   

                Our obligation as Christians is to live out our faith in a way that represents the love and grace of God to the world. My hope for the gay and lesbian co-workers and friends in my life is that they will reflect back on their life someday and respond, “I have experienced prejudice, hate and struggle in my life not only from strangers but from my own family. However, this Christian has always loved me, been there for me and treated me with respect”. Shouldn’t we strive to leave such an imprint and impression on people’s hearts?  

It is my personal belief that the loudest message of the Christian church should always be love for God and love for others. Unfortunately the loudest message that Flagstaff has heard from the Christian church this year is that Christians don't like gays… What has not been heard or said as loudly, is that God is in love with them and has a desire to impart life that surpasses all that this world could ever offer…our message this year whether intentional or not has been one that rejects, not moral decisions, but individuals.

-Excerpt From my friend Kris Dohse’s blog, addressed to the local churches in his community who vocally and passionately supported an anti-gay marriage ballot proposition.

 

To Mend the Bridges or Burn Them Down (Addressing the Gay question. PART I)

I have brainstormed tirelessly trying to come up with some cute way to intro into this topic. Usually when I sit down to write I have already conceived some clever opening in which I can then build the whole essay around. However, this issue is too critical and pressing, there seems no painless way to ease into the subject matter. Its uncomfortable, controversial, and passionately debated, being as it is the “hot button” topic of our day. It is the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi and Transgender) people, community or lifestyle. When you throw faith into the equation, much like water and oil, cats and dogs, it seems an awkward and perhaps impossible mix. 

Can I be honest and say that I’m no expert on this topic. What follows is simply my opinions and insights gleaned from my experiences in life and faith, as well as from my friendships with gays and lesbians. All I can say for sure from my safe vantage point within the “four walls” of Christianity is that I feel uncomfortable by what I have witnessed so far in my life in regards to Christianity and its interaction with people from the LGBT community. I have heard so many sermons and read enough “religious” books and scripture to know how God feels about his creation, about justice, about mercy and grace and about treating our fellow human beings with respect. I believe that Christians have made numerous irreversible mistakes in relation to LGBT's. We have been ugly, hateful, vengeful, unmerciful, judgmental and unloving to the gay and lesbian communities. We have not represented the love and mercy of our God very well and for that I am sorry and I live my life in such a way as to make amends.  

As the nation continues to go to the polls to decide the fate of gay rights and as gay, lesbian and religious organizations draw up their battle plans, it’s easy to see that these issues are not going anywhere in the near future. I believe that Christianity finds itself in a place and time of great responsibility and opportunity to minister to the LGBT communities, however I am afraid that we are missing this incredible chance to represent the love and grace of God. I fear that many within Christianity are so focused on the cultural and political war being fought regarding “gay rights”, that we are alienating ourselves from people who deserve to be loved, respected and cared for whether we agree with their lifestyles or not. These are human beings who deserve to receive the same message of hope, redemption and forgiveness that I did. No one should be excluded from those opportunities, however I wonder if the “Vote Yes on Prop 102” signs that support banning same-sex marriage in front of our churches send them a different message.

If Christianity sincerely wishes to reach out to gays and lesbians than I believe that somehow the culture and mindset of the church and its believers will have to change. First of all, the doors of our churches must be open to all “seekers” without prejudice, expectation or judgment. It should be a safe and welcoming place where people who are foreign to the gospel and the Christian faith can “taste and see that the Lord is good”, experiencing a relationship with God at their own pace even if it take weeks, months or even years to come to faith.

As believers we need to exercise some patients towards those who are in a place of pondering questions about faith. There is this expectation that people should walk into the doors of the church and immediately make a decision whether they will accept or reject the whole “Christian package”. The whole idea that we can hold isolated “evangelistic services” that cater to outsiders and focuses on getting them saved, plugged into the church and turned from all their sins that very day is unrealistic. We have to allow space for God to reveal himself to them, while our responsibility is to patiently represent God to them with love, while assisting in nurturing their faith. In our fast paced, drive-thru, high-speed everything world, this can be challenging. But a true, enduring, mature faith takes time to cultivate.

Furthermore, I have noticed that the church often has an underlying, unspoken yet tangible sense that everyone who enters is guilty until proven innocent. The truth is that everyone is unworthy, everyone has fallen short, there is no one who is righteous, yet God patiently offers everyone His favor which we are criminally undeserving of. We must keep in mind that it is God’s spirit that convicts people of their sins and not our bullhorns, protest signs or political agendas. We need to trust God enough to do His job within the hearts and lives of people and not intervene impatiently or without love. Scripture shares an important insight into the Character of God as “patient with (us), not wishing that any should perish”. That will probably mean we are going to be a little uncomfortable at times as God deals with the real issues in people’s hearts and we are left to tolerate and witness their “symptoms”. David Kinniman writes in Unchristian, “If we allow the actions and attitudes of outsiders to shock us, we become either isolationists or crusaders, and neither extreme will have much influence on outsiders”. How true and yet tragic this statement is.

Scripture is full of brilliant, yet often ignored examples for us to follow. Take Romans 2:4 for instance; “do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” When God deals with us He is kind, tolerant and patient. Unfortunately Christians do not often display these same characteristics in their interactions with others. God tolerates our transgressions and sins, and then we turn around and are offended by the sins of others. He is patient but we are “tired of wickedness of our generation”. He is kind, but we lash out in sarcasm, anger and disgust. As Christians God constantly extends to us His grace, mercy and forgiveness as we constantly lay ruin to any sign of righteousness we might have. God does this not only out of an unfathomable love for his creation, but also as an example for us to live by.

If we as Christians are serious about loving the gay community than I plead that we drop the insensitive jokes, the untruths, misinformation and the stereotypes about homosexuals. Well we are at it, if we feel a strong conviction to fight for traditional marriage than that is fine, but let’s come up with a better argument than claiming we are “protecting the sanctity of marriage” by attempting to bar same sex marriages. We heterosexuals have done a fine enough job destroying the sacredness of marriage, trampling on its sanctity with divorce and infidelity that is just as prevalent within the church than it is in the world of “heathens”.

I consider myself blessed to have grown up in the Christian faith and church. When I think of the church what comes to mind are second rate horror movies in which people who are chased by either monsters, zombies or knife wielding psychopaths who are attempting to “hack them to pieces”, narrowly escape to the refuge of some peaceful, gothic looking church. Perhaps a better example is the far too familiar scenes from CNN following terrible storms and hurricanes, in which displaced families huddled together in the safety of a churches holy sanctuary, which has become a Red Cross evacuation center.

Too often Christian people who have “come out” have quickly been shown the door or have been shunned in shame by their old friends who simply didn’t know how to respond. Something seems terribly wrong when people are sent packing from a supposed loving, caring, community of believers. As the church opens its doors to victims of natural disasters, I believe it should also open its doors to all people who are in need spiritually. What better place for people to be than in the house of a loving, caring God where redemption and healing take place.

TO BE CONTINUED... 


“Love covers over a multitude of sins”

1 Peter 4:8

 

“Christians are primarily perceived for what they stand against. We have become famous for what we oppose, rather than who we are for”.

David Kinniman

 

We All Kinds of Crazy!

I Came to the chilling realization a few years ago that everyone, I mean EVERYONE has a little bit of crazy in them. This thesis found me mostly by accident as my wife was recounting with concern the reckless and illogical adventures of a close friend of hers which eerily mirrored other accounts regarding close friends and family members we had encountered over the previous months. When she was finished with her account I blurted out as if in surrender, “everyone is crazy!” I can’t be sure if it was a statement exactly or if I was asking a question, however, as the words left my lips the truth of it struck me. It was like an epiphany. 

Obviously I don’t believe that everyone is loony bin, straight jacket, certifiably insane. However, the truth is that every one of us is a flawed human being with hang-ups, irrational behaviors and unique quarks who could probably benefit from a few sessions with a licensed psychotherapist. What separates us from simply being different  and perhaps a bit odd to full on crazy is that we live our lives in denial of our imperfections while entertaining delusions of who we really are. I give you the comb over and Karaoke as evidence.

Probably the sanest people are those whom you would actually think had the most problems, for instance those in A.A and various recovery programs, a person with some sort of mental health diagnoses they are addressing or a married couple seeking counseling. The fact is that since they are humbly seeking the help that they so desperately need suggests that these folks have come to terms with their issues, their little slices of crazy.

This reminds me of one of my favorite stories Jesus told about a Pharisee (think: religious elite) and a tax collector (think: smarmy politician) who are both in the act of prayer. The Pharisee begins his prideful prayer, “thank you Lord that I am not like this scumbag tax collector over there…”, whereas the tax collector begs passionately and humbly while beating his chest in anguish, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” Obviously, the tax collector has come to grips with the reality of his situation, whereas the Pharisee is living such a lie that he foolishly believes he can “pull one over” on God. The crazy in this story is quite apparent.

Whether it is our continual horrid decisions and choices that makes best friends and family members want to strangle us, our self-absorption that sucks the life out of any and all attempts at normal conversation or our inability to separate our emotional feelings from reality, we put the people we love the most through hell!

What continues to fuel the madness within each one of us is that our reality is the norm. And because every generation is raised by a flawed generation before them, no matter how great mom and dad were, we are destine to grow up with unresolved issues pertaining to that.

Sure, I knew that everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions, but I never entertained the idea that all of us, even those I looked up to the most may have some wiring crossed or a screw loose.

Yet the evidence was undeniable as I began to witness marriages that I had hoped to emulate crumble to the ground, pastors who worked tirelessly in the ministry which left little time for their own families and heartbreaking fractures within my own family that left us with an empty chair or two at the holiday dinner table. I began to see crazy everywhere I looked within the safe and sane world I thought I knew.  

Then a new fear began to materialize as these truths became clear and I was forced to broach the next obvious question, “am I crazy too?”

We can rationalize our lives, decisions and actions all we want but deep down we all know our weaknesses, our limits and our braking point. This is the dark reality I had to face. There is a band called The Belle Brigades who have this incredible song called “Losers” containing a somber warning that “there will always be someone worse than you, sister don’t let it get to your head”. So true! How easy it was for me to glance around and carefully select those I wished to compare, evaluate and judge myself by. How unfair and dangerous this was as well, it only feed my own delusions, my own crazy. In such cases we all look pretty good as a world full of faulty people compare themselves with others in similar straits.

What helped me come to grips with my own bit of craziness was embracing the realization that “but for the grace of God go I”. Honestly what makes any of us think that we are any better off than someone who has made a mess of their life? Perhaps the only difference between you and me and someone we know that has gone through an ugly divorce is that we are more determined, stubborn or it’s a combination of faith and guilt that keeps us in our marriage. The only difference between you and I and a friend with a drinking problem is the drug of choice, they abuse drink while we eat, shop, gossip or flirt to make ourselves feel better for a fleeting moment.  The only difference between you and I and someone sitting in a jail cell is that they got caught and we didn’t.

You see how it works? We have certain preconceived ideas and judgments of others when we hear they got a DUI, a divorce or a prescription, until it happens to you or someone close to you.

We are all flawed individuals and when we can finally come to terms with that we can be better parents, spouses, friends and children. We can have more grace and more patience for those who deserve it and when the situation arises we can also be stern and uncompromising.

When I finally stopped trying to sell myself lies about who I really was and came to terms with the mess that is me, only then did I know how dependent I am on God and how hopeless I am without him. Many people feel like they have to clean up their act and pay some kind of penance before they can call out to God for help. The truth is that God is with us in the gutter. Discovering my shortcomings and dealing with my issues is humbling and even disconcerting but it is comforting to know that God hasn’t abandoned me.

Albert Einstein famously theorized the definition of insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I am sick of banging my head against the wall with only a headache to show for it aren’t you? It’s time we honestly take stock of our lives, our flaws and our crazy. Perhaps it’s time to try another approach.

Lost in Translation

Take it from a guy who has been married for ten years, works in close quarters with a handful of diverse personalities and has had friendships rocked by divorces and pride fueled disagreements, communication is an amazingly complex entity that can exude life, growth and camaraderie one moment and then miserable misunderstanding the next.

It is often messy, uncomfortable and misconstrued, however, judging by the current popularity of social networking sites, cell phones and text messaging, communication is also a highly sought after and valued thing.

Now when it comes to communication, I truly believe that those who put their trust in Jesus have the greatest message of hope, redemption, forgiveness and love. We are in fact, (frighteningly) Gods primarily messengers to the rest of a weary and broken world that longs for good news. Our every action, word and even our subtle body language continually sends a message to those around us of who God is and what He looks like.

So what message are we presenting? Hopefully it is one of redemption, grace and, to borrow from Brennan Manning, the “furious love of God”. Sadly, however this great message is often lost in translation.

Case in point was a pastor I recently witnessed leading new “converts” in a prayer to “accept Christ into their lives”. To those uninitiated with church life and lingo, think of it as a swearing in ceremony in which people are “sworn into” the faith. Perplexingly as it may seem being that it is such a monumental spiritual moment, it is rarely scripted or rehearsed by preachers who are apparently more focused on brushing up on the impeccable timing of their one-liners. Which may excuse this particular preacher for exhorting “newbies” to pray to God imploring Him “to forgive them for the way they have been living their lives thus far”.

Sounds pretty harmless right?

Except when you consider that such an unclear and seemingly vague statement forces people to draw their own conclusions as to what they are really being told. Which may be where all the confusion about superficial lifestyle changes like being a person of a particular moral code while avoiding the dangers of “sex, drugs and Rock n’ Roll” is birthed. What we are left with is churches full of people who are not exactly sure what their salvation really means in relation to their lives.

Despite what we might interpret the message to say, the fact is that initially putting ones faith in God has little, perhaps even nothing to do with the life someone has lived or the things they have done. I know some of the most loving and kind people who do not consider themselves Christians, while on the other hand I have been acquainted with some of the filthiest and rotten people who call themselves Christians. The way in which someone lives his or her life is not always an accurate indicator of ones salvation.

And not to pick on this poor pastor alone, because we send similar messages to the world around us when our salvation story consists of what amounts to merrily outward “surface cleaning” (“I used to smoke, drink and cuss but then I found Jesus and now my life is completely different”). The bumper sticker that reads “Born fine the first time” is the world’s jab in response to such shallow testimonies that drip with the underlying message that “life is better here”. On the contrary, life usually gets more difficult (which was what Jesus warned his followers) when one chooses faith.

You see, despite the confusing messages to the contrary, God’s primarily concern is not with the kind of life we lived yesterday. He simply desires to be the center and focus of our lives today and on into our future tomorrows.

Furthermore, asking those who are newly acquainted with God to seek forgiveness for the way they “lived their life” pre-faith sends a dangerous message that the church, and God for that matter, is only concerned with what they do instead of in whom they trust. It causes churchgoers to tiptoe around each other on Sunday mornings concerned and fearful that they will be exposed as a fraud (which, in a way, we all happen to be).

Sadly many people “join” the church, subscribe to the “corporate” brand and immediately begin exhausting themselves by jumping through all the “spiritual” hoops trying to please the others and please God while hoping to quiet the lingering voices spewing words of doubt and guilt. However, despite the commitment, effort, hard work or perseverance we cannot will ourselves to live a better “Christian life”. Such futile striving will only leave us feeling unfulfilled, frustrated and disappointed. We cannot make life, character and moral changes that are deeply ingrained into who we are with “good ole’ fashion” hard work and determination.

All this fruitless striving saddens me because it really is as simple as living in the grace of God and enjoying the spiritual journey without getting caught up in our failures, disappointments and guilt. Unfortunately such messages are a rarity.

Honestly, the most important thing missing from all of our lives is truly knowing and experiencing God, there is no other ingredient required. God, knowing every little nuance, trait, characteristic and aspect of his creation, knows perfectly how to effectively weed out, mold and shape our lives. He is much more patient and long suffering than we could ever hope to be in seeing us unto completion. If there are things in our life that need to be changed or ways of living that need to be tweaked, you can be sure God will inform us of it and will work patiently and with purpose to accomplish it in our life. In this progression our character blossoms to its fullest potential.

The salvation experience is not solely about making people better human beings. But for the grace of God, all of humanity is on a level playing field in such regards. It doesn’t matter what someone’s political affiliation may be, what their sexual orientation is, what religion they subscribe to or anything else, if there be any good deed, word of encouragement or characteristic within them it is simply the illuminating grace of God shining through a putrid soul. And we are all putrid souls, however God can use ANYONE He desires to be a blessing! As Aaron Weiss puts it so simply and yet poignantly in song “It’s (God) in everyone we meet”.

Despite what we would love to believe about ourselves, without God in our lives there really is no good within us, our natural inclinations are selfish and sinful. We should take no pride in our efforts to be “good-people” (our righteousness is like filthy rags after all) but should humbly thank God that He is hard at work patiently perfecting us hardheaded people.

With this in mind, perhaps it is time we reevaluate some of our ideas and perceptions about sin. You see, from the time Moses come down the mountain with those two imposing tablets to today where Sunday school children across the globe are singing, “be careful little eyes what you see” there has always been this underlying belief that God doesn’t want us to have any fun.

One of my favorite writers on faith, Anne Lamott reminds us that we are “punished not for the sin but by the sin.” I believe this is a much healthier way to approach Gods distain for our sins. God wants us to avoid sin, not because He wants to remove all the fun from our lives, but because sin is something that is destructive to a healthy life and healthy relationships. We should desire to live a “better life” not solely because it pleases God or makes Him love us more, but because it is a better way to live and will save us much heartache and pain.

Remember, entrusting God with our lives has nothing to do with pledging our allegiances to the handiwork of man nor does it have anything to do with keeping up our appearances. Salvation is hope that through God’s grace we can overcome yesterday’s struggles. It is hope that beginning immediately God will join us in our battles. It is hope in knowing that life won’t necessarily be easier but we will be guaranteed that we don’t have to go it alone. It is about accepting an offer of “life and life abundantly”.

In a world full of unclear and mixed messages, those of us with the greatest message of hope need to get it right.

WARNING! Contents may be hazardous to your life!

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, and have not charity, I am become as a sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal." Paul the Apostle

I have become tired of the lethargic church and of empty Christianity. It saddens me that the world does not see a true representation of Jesus when it sees His supposed followers. I am dismayed that we continue to build extravagant homes (churches) for God and yet don't take care of those without homes. I am concerned that we have merrily built for ourselves a fortress and now reside within its four walls as if protecting ourselves from the "evil" world around us.

Though I am saddened, angry and tired of these things, I am even wearier of just simply talking about it. I have to guard myself and watch that I don't become too cynical, judgmental and frustrated that I become useless to God, to Christianity and to humankind.

Sure, I can write blogs about Christianities issues until my hair turns gray and my fingers become arthritic. I can sit around at coffee houses discussing the problems of the church with friends until every stone is overturned. I can read as many books and articles about what the church is supposed to look like or how its inhabitants have grown overfeed and lazy. But all the while the world turns, time passes and I grow older. I have to ask myself whether I am simply becoming a clanging cymbal? Am I nothing more than a noise that is pounding like the neighbors stereo at 2 AM annoying all those around me?

Yeah, we have done a fine job messing up Jesus' image throughout history. I feel a responsibility to tell people "no, this isn't who Jesus is". This is not the Jesus I have grown up to know and live for. He is not like those who angrily condemn the gay and lesbian communities while inconsiderately shouting hateful things at them at protests and rallies. He is not the one who hangs "No-Smoking" signs outside churches so that those who do smoke feel even more alienated from the “saints” inside. He is not the one standing on street corners shouting "Turn or Burn!" He does not send hurricanes or fly airplanes into buildings to punish or scare us into getting our act together or repenting. And he is not the one on TV asking for our money while promising us prosperity because of our generous contributions. He is far from any of these things, unfortunately however, their bullhorns are loud and they draw all of the attention.

It all makes me wonder if the world has ever actually gotten a glimpse of the real Jesus? Sure, people can know about him, know a little about religion and spend some time in church but all of that means very little. Those of us who are Christians are supposed to represent the incredible love and grace of Jesus to the world, not send them running away, causing them to despise Him.

Don't get me wrong; there are some of the coolest Christians, churches and people who are doing and being everything they are supposed to be. I am thankful for them because they encourage and challenge my faith and give me hope that all is not lost.

It was because of a somewhat stagnate faith that I began writing blogs and talking to people about my frustrations with religion and church. I was hoping in the very least to encourage and inspire them to think a little more critically about their own faith while at the same time desiring to ignite a little life into my own. I was also hoping to find people that may have experienced or witnessed some of the same things I had, to see if my feelings were legitimate or unfounded. I guess what I really was hoping to determine was if I was crazy, "backslidden" or if I was on the right track.

Thank God I found that I was not alone. There are many people out there who are just as tired and frustrated who desire to see some positive changes within their church and faith. This is where we need to be cautious however. If all we do is sit around complaining, writing and talking we will begin to hear a distant clanging in our ears. We need to follow passionate discontent with action.

God has designed all believers to play significant roles in something incredibly spiritual, powerful and effective, called the church (which is simply a term meaning the collection of all believers, not to be confused with a building). And as much as it frustrates me to no end and tests the level of my patients I cannot remove myself from it nor can I renounce my place from within it. It is a part of me and I am a part of it. So when I find myself nitpicking all of its flaws and inconsistencies I have to ask myself am I doing my part? Is it the churches fault or should I share in the blame because I have taken myself out of the game and stand on the sideline judging it to pieces?

Too many of us have allowed the hurt, the abuse and the neglect we have experienced within Christianity render us ineffective. We can sulk and lick our wounds for a time and point out all the things that need to change, but until we do something proactive it all eventually just becomes noise. The church may be a mess, but its our mess, so what are we going to do about it?

This might sound crazy, egocentric, or as John Lennon put it best "you may say I'm a dreamer", but its time to be true representatives of what we believe. I know it sounds cliché but we need to be the change we want to see. Instead of shunning the soiled, misused label of Christian, perhaps we need to begin redefining it through our lives and actions. How do accomplish such an overwhelming and seemingly impossible task? Well, may I suggest we begin not by beating down the doors of neighbors, handing out evangelistic tracts, or inviting people to our church (though those are tools that sometimes work)…but let’s start somewhere simple, humble, often ignored and almost always undervalued. Let it begin with us living out our faith, loving others, serving and being hope. If we can accomplish this quietly without all the fanfare and hype it will speak the loudest and our message will be heard.

"Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.' St Francis of Assisi.

No Guarantees or Promises

Already incredibly blessed by the birth of our daughter Grace, My wife and I “decided” shortly thereafter that it was time for a little brother or sister. However, as the pages on the calendar continued to turn months into years we had become that “heartbreaking story” of a young couple that couldn’t conceive. I reluctantly put on a brave face feebly masquerading as a strong pillar on which my heartbroken wife could lean upon. Meanwhile, she bravely bore the discouragement and despair whether she was fielding phone calls from friends who “just called to share their good news” or while simply opening those colorful baby shower invitations at the mailbox.

There is a feeling of helplessness being at the mercy of nature and God without having much input into the matter. It is especially frustrating when friends, family and even teenagers all around you are getting pregnant either incredibly easily or by accident, like “oops, we didn’t mean for that to happen?” Yeah, as if they didn’t know anything about how this whole thing happens. I worked with one guy who had three little girls in the time we were simply hoping for one (too much to ask?) who joked that he had to be careful how he looked at his wife. I felt little sympathy for him.

Finally, after tossing out our fair share of negative pregnancy tests into the wastebasket (obviously failing pregnancy tests isn’t very “Green”), we got a faint blue line. Of course my wife was pretty ecstatic, whereas I remained emotionally guarded, figuring there was a possibility that it could be a mistake and considering our continual heartbreak, I wasn’t going to allow what little hope I had remaining to be extinguished.

As each day followed that blue line that had remained “allusive” for so long became stronger and brighter. My wife literally danced around me while I sadly continued to give a half smile with fingers crossed in hopes of evading any “bad news”. I found it extremely difficult to simply let go and trust that this was for real without the fear that the rug might be pulled out from beneath us.

Fortunately for the sake of my sanity the pregnancy continues to progress normally (“we will have a boy in October). Through those first few weeks and months of the pregnancy the reoccurring spiritual theme for me was trust. In fact, I could hear the ghosts from churches past echoing in my ears the refrain, “trust God and everything will be okay”, or the more sinister, accusing and guilt infused “don’t you trust God?”

I do trust God, Yes, but I am aware of the realities of life. Good Christian people who trust in God suffer tragedy and lose at the same rate as the “heathens” all around us. As witness by my physical and emotional bruises, scabs and scars that I have endured throughout my lifetime, trust and faith in God is not a cure all, guarantee of protection against ever being hurt or let down. Yeah, I trust a good God, a God who nonetheless allows tragedy, death, sickness and sadness to befall his children.

It is easy for us to say we trust God when life is rolling along smoothly while we testify to Gods goodness and shout “hallelujahs” in church, but how about those times when we are harvesting nothing but lemons? Job, a man who suffered more than any of us can imagine, made one of the greatest statements on the subject, saying, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” So trusting in God for me means being willing and prepared to accept “trouble” with hope place firmly in His promises that He will see me through.

Sure, I could “trust” God more, exercising my “spiritual muscles” with extra time spent in prayer and perhaps fast from food for a period of time, but that won’t necessarily ensure anything or change the will of God for my life. It may simply strengthen my faith in preparation of enduring life’s disappointments and lose (Yippee!). Contrary to what many people believe and teach, the amount and strength of ones faith is not a gauge in which God delves out rewards and punishments.

Those who offer the suffering, doubting or hopeless soul a simple “you just have to trust God!” as encouragement must have forgotten the examples of those who throughout scripture wholeheartedly trusted in God like Job, Joseph, King David, The Apostle Paul and even Jesus. Each one surrendered their full trust to God and yet still experienced brutal trials and tribulation throughout their lifetimes. The silver lining on this particularly “depressing” example is that in the end all of them were blessed because they endured and remained true to their faith.

When we pray “thy will be done”, we are often in a way, naively releasing things into the hands and control of a God who never promised to protect us from all the difficulties of life but a God “who in all things works for the of those who love Him”. I have heard that quoted countless times after the passing of close friends and family as sort of a mantra of comfort. I cling to that promise tightly, in some cases still awaiting those promised results.

Scripture instructs us to “trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding”. The underlining current of this statement is that life, more often than not, will refuse our demands that it make any sort of sense. Which, upon pondering further simply says to me “This is going to hurt a bit”.

Can we trust God? Well, look at his track record for yourself. However, a better question may be do we trust that God has our best interests at heart? I trust in a God whose “ways are not my ways”, A God that asks us to trust Him as He calls us to step out of the boat and walk to Him, who waits two days too long before visiting a loved one on their death bed and who sleeps comfortably while we weather the torrential storms on the sea. Often times we need a graceful reminder that He does indeed have our best interests at heart especially when that conclusion is clouded by the lose of a job, the failing health of a loved one, a deteriorating relationship and seemingly unfulfilled and unattainable desires or dreams.

Although appearing to be a bit of a “sacrilegious” quote, I can understand the feelings behind author Samuel Butler saying, “to put one's trust in God is only a longer way of saying that one will chance it”. Sometimes it does feel that way doesn’t it? Most certainly the act of placing ones trust in God should be done with much consideration and weighting of the cost. It isn’t for the half-hearted of fair-weather soul. As Brennan Manning put it in his book Ruthless Trust, “Unwavering trust is a rare and precious thing because it often demands a degree of courage that borders on the heroic…it requires heroic courage to trust in the love of God no matter what happens to us.” Although it may often seem as if we are “rolling the dice” when we place our complete trust in God, He will continually prove His trustworthiness as we courageously place our trust in Him.

The topic of trust brings to mind the chaotic Hollywood movie chase scenes in which the driver turns to his passenger who is cowering in his seat with white knuckles and says “trust me, I know what I am doing”, as he recklessly crashes through fruit stands and runs red lights while narrowly missing innocent pedestrians.

So with a wild-eyed expression on my face and white knuckles gripped tightly to my seat I continue to trust God as He navigates me through this life. I truly believe that He has my best interests at heart and that He is concerned with the smallest details of my life, however, as Mother Teresa was famous for saying “I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”

Independence: What a Beautiful Snare

Through my relationship with my daughter I get glimpses into my own relationship with God, which often reveals the current condition of my spiritual life. That being said, I’m not bragging, more than I am confessing when I tell you that my daughter can be pretty headstrong and independent. She regularly insists on doing things on her own, forcing me to painfully watch as she struggles to button a jacket, fasten a pair of shoes or pour a glass of milk. The innocence of which I will take over the impending, dreaded teenager years when she will undoubtedly insist on doing EVERYTHING on her own. For now my daughters actions and attitude seems to be her subtle statement of rebellion that says, “The world DOES revolve around five-year-olds!”

I have been thinking a lot about Adam lately. The way I always imagined it, whether you believe the Biblical accounts of the creation story are to be taken literally of figuratively, the Garden of Eden was a virtual paradise that left Adam wanting for nothing. I don’t know about you, but I always thought of Eden as being Heaven on earth with a similar “No more tears, pain or death” policy. A place in which Adam enjoyed the very real physical presences of God who regularly joined him for a stroll through that unimaginably magnificent place, their relationship untainted by the impending “fall” (that whole “forbidden fruit” controversy). Who wouldn’t be a bit envious of Adams situation who had the luxury of laying his head down peacefully at night without those unanswerable questions that plague so many of us with doubt, uncertainty and fear.

Until recently I had somehow overlooked an interesting and thought provoking angle to this story. You see despite what I had always believed about Adams seemingly perfect existence in which he was sustained both physically and spiritually by the very presences of God, the scriptures reveal an underlying longing and an incompleteness of which he couldn’t express or understand. God, His very nature being loving and gracious, aware all of His creations yearnings and desires understood that Adams particular need was for companionship. In fact, in the creation process God wired him in such a way that he would long for the companionship of others. It was His design.

Though God had given man the earth in all of its glory and the infinity of the heavens above that dances with the light of planets and stars, He saved his most precious gift for last; relationships. From that point forward God instituted a peculiar new math in which “two become one” in a relationship of dependence on one another. This idea expressed beautifully by the illustration of two separate threads joining together to become one strong piece of string. Sadly, throughout history humanity has gotten itself tangled up in an ugly mess of disagreements, unforgiveness, prejudice, exploitation and eventual war. However, God intended so much more for relationships.

Not to get all John Lennon, “give peace a chance” on you, but this whole idea of Adam, his loneliness and Gods gift of companionship tells me that God does not intend for humanity to do this life alone. As important as our reliance on God is, we are also meant to depend on the fellowship and support of one another. In fact the scriptures constantly implores us to “encourage one another”, “bare one another’s burdens”, rejoice and mourn with one another. In fact the early church beautifully exemplified a communal faith as they met together daily to eat, fellowship and pray with one heart and one mind. There was a selfless attitude amongst them as everyone shared what they had so that no one was in need. They lived in such a way that followers of Jesus should strive for today. (Sorry, I did get ALL Lennon and Yoko on you after all!)

So, the question I pose is this, if we were not created to do life alone, than why do we continually insist on doing all of lives little subsections, consisting of our spiritual, romantic, financial, and childrearing lives, alone? The truth is that very rarely does anything good come from someone venturing out on their own, if you have ever watched Lost or listened to the members of the Beatles (or the Stones) solo work you know this to be true.

I am not so sure that our spiritual, nor any other part of our lives for that matter, can meet it’s full, God-intended, potential by way of our own efforts. No matter the hard work and determination we put forth to accomplish it, we are still short the full compliments of people who are on a similar journey that are able to encourage us. I believe that we grow, strengthen and learn as we celebrate the blessings and trials of our faith with others. Our growth in all areas of our lives is dependent on our relationships. As Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy put it in an interview “there’s certain things in this world you can’t do alone and they’re usually important things.” Tragically marriages crumble, alcoholics relapse, believers lose faith and single parents burn out when attempting to navigate through this life on their own.

My former pastor, now simply a friend, is passionate about His relationship with God and often fasts, or gives up food for periods of time (up to forty days on several occasions) to meditate, pray and rekindle his inner spiritual desperation. However, he told me that the most difficult thing he had ever done spiritually was purposely secluding himself in a room with no books, music or anything else except for some water for three days, his purpose being to seek God without any outside influences or distractions. To me, this is mere evidence that we were not meant to be alone. Anything beyond a few days of seclusion and we begin holding conversations with Wilson volleyballs.

The topic of loneliness reminds me of a scene in Judd Apatow’s most recent movie, Funny People, in which Adam Sandler’s character, upon finding that he is cancer free, returns home excitedly to his empty mansion (save for a gardener, pool man and housekeeper) dying to share his good news with someone, anyone who will listen. However, having alienated himself from his family and not have any real friends, he walks into the dining area where his Hispanic housekeeper is tidying up and awkwardly attempts to explain to her that he isn’t sick anymore to which she nods with a smile before responding “I clean the stain in the pants for you”. A painful scene to watch that beautifully illustrates our need for the shared company of others.

Sure, on occasions we all need to get alone and recollect our thoughts, however, stay in that place too long (especially with the curtains drawn while listening to REM’s “Everybody hurts”) and you will need a caring friend to drag you from that funk. I have thrown my own depressing little pity-parties and thankfully, friends or my wife have sensed it and graciously barged in saying, “hey…is that Radiohead your listening to? Well, turn that off, open those shades, take a shower and lets go get some dinner!”

From the beginning of time humanity inquires in arrogance “where is God?” blind to his presences all around in the caring actions of those he has strategically placed within our lives to help guide, carry, instruct and encourage us. Within our relationships and friendships can be found evidence of a divine existence.

We are a proud people to be sure. We build towers to the heavens to find God on our own, we stubbornly wander through deserts to find the promise land on our own, and we greedily hoard the manna, whether that represents monetary resources or spiritual blessings, to provide for our own needs. Too often we resemble a five-year-old child who tells those who graciously offer their assistance that “I can do it by myself!” A statement that almost always precedes failure.

Whatever we are facing in our lives, God has placed someone there who can be a blessing to us. Utilize those gifts God has given you, don’t do life alone!

TO BE UNHOL(E)Y

When it comes to gauging pain I am the wrong person to ask. As someone who has never broken a bone, been beaten up (let alone been in a physical fight) or had more than a couple stitches, a recent case of food poisoning was probably the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. I couldn’t help but feel ashamed as I laid in bed writhing in pain as I thought about my wife bravely enduring child birth, my many friends and family members who have heroically conquered cancer and my grandfather who survived executions and extreme frigid temperatures, while sacrificing his legs and fingers in the Korean War. I’m pathetic I know, but according to my personal pain scale this food poisoning tore me up. So as I lay in bed at pains mercy without my usual distractions of YouTube, Facebook, movies, books and music to comfort me, all I could do was pray to God for relief.

I have a friend who, by all appearances, was happily married, had a beautiful daughter, enjoy her job and attended church regularly. However, as the years passed, unbeknownst to many of her friends, her marriage was deteriorating, her job was no longer fulfilling and her faith was simply superficial. Exhaustion and desperation finished off what was left of her strength and stability, which had been such assets of hers for so many years, however, from that place of brokenness new life began springing forth from that cracked and dry desert. She became much more honest about her life, humbly confessing her part in the faltering marriage while also speaking of her faith in real, genuine ways that I had never heard before.

I was reading Don Miller’s “Searching for God Knows What” the other day where he talked about Jesus and his message being unappealing to most everyone and that those who actually chose to follow him where the “oppressed, marginalized and the desperate”. Suddenly my experience of “suffering” from food poisoning and my friend watching the mirage of a happy life fade away spoke to me. I began to see that because of our dire circumstances we were both transported to places of desperation. I am beginning to understand that it is in such dark and lonely places that we can hear the desperate cries of our soul as it grasps for hope.

I have heard “religious types” say that every human soul has a God-shaped hole in it that we attempt to fill with everything imaginable from sex, money, drugs, friends, etc, and although such “junk” might satisfy for a time, only God can truly fulfill our souls longing. I don’t know how accurate that illustration is, but I have been around long enough to see that everyone of us has an ingrained longing, yearning and hunger for something more meaningful than this world has to offer. However, it is so much easier for us to turn up the music and keep ourselves distracted from the discontent of our souls than to completely surrender our lives to following and living out the message of Jesus.

The further I thought about this the more I realized that everything in our culture is geared around our finding pleasure, comfort and happiness with the sole purpose of silencing our disquieted souls. This morning for example, I woke up, put on a comfortable 100% cotton Hanes t-shirt, poured myself a cup of coffee and because I didn’t feel like cooking, had some Instant oatmeal. Later that afternoon I got bored of flipping through the hundreds of channels at my disposal and rummaging through the Internet in all of its glory, so I decided to jump in the car and head over to the mall to pick up those wonderfully comfortable Gel inserts for my shoes. Being worn out from all the shopping, I got a massage next to the Cell phone Kiosk where I later drooled over the newest phones.

My point is our culture has wired us to constantly seek pleasure and comfort. Heck, the Declaration of Independence tells us that we have a right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” and so we have bought into that idea, pursuing happiness no matter the cost, whether we lose family or friends striving to achieve it. We are people who constantly seek “noise” to drown out those cries of desperation from within our souls.

Sadly, the church is not immune to this problem either. Sunday mornings I often look around fearing whether we are just going through some religious motions, numb to the discontent of our souls. I admit to being among the many who have tirelessly pursued a calendar full of church activities, programs, classes and responsibilities to appease our guilty consciences. However, such religiousness is a poor substitute for the fulfilling spiritual life God intends for us.

In the scriptures, as in life, those who found it most difficult to accept the message of Jesus were those who had everything to lose. For instance, the rich young ruler who came to Jesus seeking justification yet walked away sorrowfully after he was challenged to forsake all of his comforts and the religious leaders who opposed the message of Jesus because it threatened their status of honor and admiration among the people. The comfort, success and privilege that both the wealthy young man and the religious elite enjoyed was their distraction from the nagging emptiness within.

On the other hand, it’s no wonder that those who sacrificed so much and risked ridicule to follow Jesus were the oppressed and broken people with absolutely nothing to lose. The disciples that Jesus would entrust to carry on Gods message of Love, salvation and grace were a cast of characters working in unfulfilling, unglamorous dead end jobs. Others who put their faith in Jesus included fathers whose children were at deaths door, a woman who had exhausted all her resources to find a cure for her sickness and a tax collector who was not only small in stature, but was also despised by those around him. Jesus followers were definitely a rag-tag bunch of social and religious misfits.

Although it may go against my entire nature I want to fall into this second group consisting of desperate people. The truth is that everyone is already there to begin with and we can either accept that fact and turn to God to be our strength and hope, or we can choose to strive, fight and claw our way to some “artificial” happiness that looks good on television and sells lots of magazines but will ultimately leave us empty and tired.

While I’d prefer to medicate it away or simply ignore it, there is something spiritual to be gleaned from life’s aches, pains, troubles and tribulations being that it is a tangible reminder of my humanity and also my mortality. Though it may not make much sense to this culture, every once in awhile I got to skip a meal or say no to something I’d rather be doing. It’s necessary if I wish to be desperate and not quench that thirst for spiritual things that matter most in life.

Some call it a crutch or a weakness to turn to God in moments of trouble, pain, uncertainty and fear, but where else should we turn? God himself instructs us to “call on me when you are in trouble”. Whereas, the Apostle Paul boasted in his frailties saying, “that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Our culture may glorify in the strength, courage, independence, and knowledge of humanity, however God celebrates in His humble, meek, reliant, sincere, and faithful servants.

It’s true that it shouldn’t take tragedy, discomfort, sickness, loneliness or complete desperation until we finally seek God. That is my point really, it shouldn’t take our world getting “rocked” for us to get serious about our spiritual lives, but more often than not it does take such extremes before we open our eyes to that reality.

So we can continue going to our churches and subscribe to all the “fluff” about Jesus (believing that he presented great moral teachings and basically cash in our “Insurance” when we die so we can go to heaven) right along with our Netflix and Entertainment Weekly but what we really need is a desperation for real spiritual impact in our lives. I’ll be honest, I am not desperate for God, in fact, I am not even close to being there and I have only met a few incredible people who are, but I want to be.

Occasionally we need to “turn-off” all of the distractions and allow ourselves to tune into the spiritual. Otherwise we are apt to escape into our own little worlds, jumping from one distraction to another, completely neglecting the one who offered, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Parades of the Pathetic

For the record I am a Christian, that is, I am a follower of the teachings of Jesus Christ and believe in His Resurrection. Yet, I hold much of Christianity at arms length and for the most part have removed myself from the "Christian culture". The impression Christianity gives me by the way it presents itself and the way it appears to those of us on the outside at times leaves me feeling uncomfortable and uneasy.

When I think of Christians what comes to mind are people who are living and enjoying the American dream. They are happy families with two well-behaved children, good jobs and have a middle to upper level income. Of course they attend church, which has a handsome, well-dressed pastor, his attractive and outgoing wife and of course two gifted children who themselves minister on the worship team. The members of their church are people whom are not unlike themselves who are lead in worship by someone who could easily be mistaken for a talented and sexy pop star. All of their lives seem annoyingly close to perfect, with a little hiccup here and there. Nonetheless praise reports and thanksgiving dominant the time of fellowship and after the service all of the beautiful families retreat to their vehicles in perfect harmony.

Aside from its people, the culture and business of Christianity is as wildly successful and flourishing as well. It has its mega churches, its celebrities, authors and rock stars. It has its Joel Osteen's and Rick Warren's authors of best selling books titled "Your Best Life Now" "Become a Better You" and "The Purpose Driven Life". Turn on the TV and see the Televangelists promising us better lives, healing and salvation with such passion while surrounded by their thousands of followers who pack the beautiful multimillion dollar buildings. The message that all of this sends me is "look at the great things God can do for you, look at how successful, and beautiful and happy we all are…why not join us?" Christianity is boasting how wonderful it is to "join the club" and all I can do is try not to puke.

To be honest I feel I have very little in common with "slap on the back, big smiles and praise the Lord" types. I believe, but I also have my struggles, doubts and pain, along with so many others who don't feel like this type of Christianity relates to them. Which is why for the moment I have walked away and why I am grieved, because when I look at the culture and visit some of its churches, sadly this is the Christianity I see.



Arrogant, proud, self-righteous, smug, pompous, opinionated,

dogmatic, intolerant, hypersensitive, touchy, emotional, animated and forced.



God gave us the Bible to be our guide and give us hope. It is a book that recounts the stories of blessings and triumph, Kings and wealth, bravery and honor. A book so highly respected that it sits on the nightstand of the wealthy, in the bookcase of the powerful and is in the briefcase of the important. The Bible and its words have been truth to slave owners, Presidents and oppressors. It is a sacred book that at times in history could only be read by a man or interpreted by a religious leader. It is a book for victors and champions, the strong and the brave. Basically at times it seems to be a book that is for everyone but us who are outside the four walls trying to survive.

However, in between the writings of blessing, triumph and wealth God does something that continues to touch and bless me. Almost as if he were to say, "I have not forgotten you, my poor, broken-hearted child. I have spoken to the others but now it is time for me to speak to you". And so he does.

God commands that no one should "take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry." Jesus himself blessed "the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." David in the psalms referred to God as "a Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows". Not quite the tagline to a flashy superhero but defiantly the heart of a gentle and compassionate God. Jesus tells a parable of a great banquet in which the master (who represents God) tells his servant "go out quickly to the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame." God desires the presents of the outcasts of society and so once again hope is rekindled in the heart of discouraged and downcast.

Through all the victory parades and praise reports God gently reminds the downtrodden that he is still there beside them. It is as if among all the great accounts of achievement and people of honor, He has left little tidbits of hope sprinkled throughout the gospel for those in distress as well. In a way I imagine Gods heart towards us as if He sees those with tears in their eyes and slowly he slips away from the celebration to take care of his wounded, abandon child.

Though Christianity marches on God reminds the poor, the slaves, the rejected, those who feel they have had their very souls ripped away from them that he is right there beside them and he will see them through. As the mega churches experience revival, God comforts the pastor of the rundown, forgotten church of thirty-two members. As hundreds are saved at an evangelistic crusade, God whispers hope to an elderly woman living on the streets. As the perfect family of four travels home from church on Sunday, God gives a single mother a few moments of his peace as her crying child has finally fallen to sleep.

Personally I prefer the humble and the meek. I prefer the company of those that hold onto God because he is their very last hope and not because of his blessings. I am more comfortable with those who have emotional scars and wounded hearts. I feel a kinship with those who have wondered away. We believe in God not because of his blessing but because we must, it is all we have.

I don't feel the same urgency that many do in the Christian world that God must have a place in politics and education. I don't care if He wants to concern himself with building mega churches and ministries. The only thing I am concerned with is that he is apart of my life and continues to be one of the few things that holds it all together and gives me hope.

So Christianity continues on in its grand victorious march, smiles on the follower's faces and joy in their hearts. Don't get me wrong, I do understand that in God is the victory, salvation, healing and joy but in the world I live in so many of us have a losing record. We are down more than we are up. We cry more than we laugh. We pray for miracles, for hope and for just a simple whisper to know God is still there.

Thanks to a few scattered messages to us ragamuffins, at least in my dark, stormy, doubt-filled world I can still proclaim; "God is here!"

Recycled blessings

It was a lethargic Sunday morning when I came into the living room. My roommate Micah was brewing coffee, which for him was more of a ritual than routine. I had fifteen minutes until church started which was just enough time to put on a counterfeit smile before I had to face my fellow "believers". Sure, if you don't want to go to church then don't go, but when you're the youth pastor your kinda obligated. Micah could sense from my body language that church was the last place I wanted to be today and suggested that we ditch, go get some coffee in us and walk around downtown. I was in just the mood to accept his offer.

As we rounded a corner there stood before us a beautiful, yet haunting Catholic Church that I had admired for years. The architecture of the building has a kind of gothic feel to it. There are eerie looking gargoyles placed strategically around the high walls that seem to follow you with their eyes as you pass. It is very reminiscent of the many churches that I've seen in horror movies were people flee to in search of refuge only to have bad things happen to them once inside.

The morning mass had just ended as people milled around in front of the building. Micah suggested we slip inside and check it out. As we entered, soaking up the whole atmosphere of the church, we sat on an old wooden pew in the last row in our best attempts at being inconspicuous. We only stayed for maybe five minutes half fearing that at any moment a priest would come running in frantically to throw us out, having recognizing us as imposters.
I don't know if it was because of the mystique of the building, its history, the architecture or the presents of God but those five minutes were an unexplainable spiritual experience for me. I'd like to think it was God who was there.

Over the years, in moments that I've been wrestling with my faith and myself I've returned to that mysterious and enchanting building. I stand in front peering up at the cross high above, trying to avoid the piercing eyes of the gargoyles, talking to God. Attempting to rekindle that same spiritual experience I once had here only to feel as dry and thirsty as the sun drenched ground I walk on.

Throughout my life I have found that I take my incredible personal experiences whether it is a place where I have experienced God, an adventure with friends or a magical moment with my wife and I turn them into something sacred and holy. In my memory they become hallowed moments that I hope to be able to relive over and over. However, I've found that you can return to an incredible camping spot, a magical concert, a late night conversation with a close friend or a long road trip yet the experience will never be the same nor will it ever live up to the way you want to remember it.

Yet, knowing it is futile I still peer into the rearview mirror at my life instead of gazing forward to the one stretching out before me. I continue to long for the incredible things I've already seen and done in my life whether it is visiting China, reliving the day I married, watching my daughters birth, hiking into the grand canyon or simply hearing a song for the first time. However, I run the risk of missing something life changing today if I am only focusing on the things that happened yesterday.

I do find some solace however, having come to the realization that I'm not alone. As a society we long to hold on to the glory days and rekindle a bit of the past. Perhaps for our own amusement and distraction we recycle the old satisfactions of yesterday. We long to return either physically or mentally to an experience, or moment that we hold onto as something to be cherished. For some it is the desire to hold onto their youth by covering up the wrinkles and gray hair. For others time is spent in daydreaming of an old flame and the feelings they shared. For many it is as simple as their weekly routine of worship at church or even the monotonousness of daily life. Of the many examples humanity gives us as they grasp tightly to the past, the one thing they all have in common is the refusal to let go.

At times it would appear that we yearn to relive our happiest moments and are content to continue in our dreary daily routines out of fear. Could it be that deep down inside we are terrified of a letdown? We have been hurt, disappointed, forsaken and unimpressed and as a result we only halfheartedly chase after any new dreams or experiences. We are finished with giving our hearts or at the very least our time towards something or someone that may only bear for us a fruitless or unfulfilling end.

As a result many of us choose to stay put, sitting in front of a church daring our God to show up like he once did. Well, others sit at home all alone refusing to take a chance to meet anyone new and face possible rejection. There are some who continue on in the same lifeless job or in pursuit of the same unrewarding education instead of opting for an adventure into the unknown. Sadly, out of this fear or at the very least anxiety, many people settle for the tedious life without ever truly experiencing the full potential of their spiritual and physical lives.

I personally believe in a God who delights in our wonder and excitement. Look around; I believe that a God that had a hand in all of this is not short on ideas for blowing our minds. A God who brought into being the rivers and mountains, the constellations, the creatures and all the different people surely knows a thing or two about sacred moments and experiences.

This may sound egocentric or prideful to say but I believe that God has a lot of blessings ahead for my family and I. I've yet to even scratch the surface of "spiritual" places or "sacred" things I have yet to encounter. I'm pretty sure that God has great things ahead for all of us, but we have to look with expectation to tomorrow.

I haven't gone looking for God at that enchanted Catholic Church in a long time, because although God is everywhere, he isn't there anymore. He has moved on to lead me somewhere further down the road. He won't allow me to stay in that moment and urges me to find him in the next place as he leads me. He won't allow me to stunt my spiritual growth. Just like he may be leading you to move on from a relationship, a hurt, a spiritual milestone; so you can experience what he has waiting for you. I for one don't want to miss a moment while I sit worshiping at the altars of past experiences. I want to live my life in such a way as to continue to live in the blessings.

Yeah, I will have plenty more lethargic Sunday mornings but looking back some of the hardest days end in the greatest blessing.