Those We Seak Not Of (Addressing the "gay debate" part II)

-As I declared in my previous post, Christianity finds itself in a time of great opportunity and responsibility to bless and minister to the gay and lesbian communities. I understand that the idea of allowing gays and lesbians into the church may be too controversial, uncomfortable and disruptive for many. It is urgent then that Christians personally step outside of the comfort and protection of those “four walls” and serve, love, listen, pray, comfort and make lasting friendships with gays, lesbians, bisexuals or transsexuals when their church cannot. If the gay community is unwelcome and uncomfortable in a church setting then we must take the church to them.  

                It’s no surprise that many Christians would be tentative, uncomfortable and furthermore ill equipped in responding to such an appeal. Christianity as a whole has for years presented mixed messages concerning how its members are to love their gay neighbors while remaining true to their morals and standards. We want to know what "loving the sinner, hating the sin" looks like and if it’s even practical or effective. To this day Christianity remains painfully slow in addressing this issue or presenting any clear direction for its followers who desire answers in responding to their Gay, Lesbian, Bi or Transgendered neighbors, co-workers, friends and families who stand before them right now!

 

                A good place to start if we wish to be sensitive and loving to gays and lesbians is to discontinue to believe, preach, teach or have anything to do with the idea that homosexuals are without morals, promiscuous, pedophiles and unfit to parent. The truth is that many Gays and lesbians do attend church, believe in God and have high moral standards. Some find themselves in committed long lasting relationships while others remain single or even choose a life of celibacy. Furthermore, gays and lesbians raise good kids and have healthy family lives. People have attached these negative characteristics to gays and lesbians to build their cases against them. If you can contend that Gay people are somehow “inhuman”, wildly immoral or dangerous it is easier to recruit people to your “side” of the argument. But the misinformation, lies and slander has only raised hostility, birthed hatred and caused widening division between the “sides”. Somehow the representatives of God’s unfailing love, redemption and grace find themselves on a “side” and we must make our way to the middle.        

            In our aim to be relevant to gays, lesbians and everyone else for that matter, we must practice the instruction of Jesus when he commanded us to “do to others as you would have them do to you”. If I wish to be treated with grace and mercy than I must extend it to others, if I am going to demand that I am respected and treated fairly than I must treat others likewise. If I want others to listen when I talk than I must give attention to their voice. How we want to be treated by others is how we must treat them now.

In addressing the idea of loving our neighbors, C.S. Lewis writes, “you have never talked to a mere mortal…next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.” He goes on to present the idea that by loving and encouraging one another we are assisting each other to our full potentials as not only humans but eternal souls. Finally C.S. Lewis concludes, “it is in light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play and all politics.” We should live our lives with the perspective that each person, each eternal soul is precious to God and it is our responsibility to nurture and encourage one another.

            When I encounter someone who is gay or lesbian my heart goes out to them and I go out of my way to be kind, considerate and friendly. My wife, Sarah recently shared with me that she had similar feelings. She recounted an experience from when she worked in a dentist office in which some of the staff refused to assist a gay couple that had HIV. However, Sarah always enthusiastically volunteered to assist the dentist when this particular couple had an appointment. Sarah said she always went out of her way to be friendly and treat them with care and concern, going above and beyond for them because she knew that they probably weren’t always treated with such dignity and respect because of their sexuality and their disease. Like Tony Campolo wrote in Speaking My Mind, “We must find ways to present homosexuals with opportunities to have fulfilling, loving experiences so that we affirm their humanity and ensure their participation in the body of Christ.”

                The Biblical scriptures are full of such incredibly uplifting and hopeful passages concerning God sending his only Son to die for us, His compassion and grace, His goodness towards all of His creation, His offer of a life lived abundantly, rest for our souls and a hope that only comes from Him. These promises, these verses of hope, these passages of grace and love is God’s message to all people, including widows, the oppressed, the sinners, the alcoholics, straight, gay and lesbian of every race, color and background. There must be good news for homosexuals, because God also had them in mind when He inspired the scriptures.

Honestly the politics and debates concerning this whole issue are nauseating. I often wonder whether it is fair for us to expect the world around us to adhere to our biblical standards. Perhaps we can affect society more fruitfully when we focus on loving people unconditionally. David Kinnaman writes in “Unchristian”, “You change a country not merely by bolstering its laws but by transforming the hearts of its people”. We might win a proposition or Supreme Court decision, but at what cost? Are we willing to completely alienate an entire generation of people and lose their audience to win our moral battles? Maybe we need to reevaluate our focus and mission because although we might have the best of intentions, the world doesn’t perceive our actions out of an obligation of love. To be honest, we don’t always have the best interests of people at heart, what we have is our agendas. Sometimes we are more concerned with being right than we are with the feelings and the well-being of an eternal soul. 

            As Christians, everything we do should be motivated out of compassion for others. If we have any other motive, whether it is anger, hurt, self-righteousness, resentment or offense, than we should stay out of it. The world will see right through our empty actions if it is not executed out of compassion. 

Some Christians will argue that we will somehow be condoning the LGBT communities or that we are being too sympathetic by extending to them such grace. However, don’t they deserve to know and observe the message of Gods redemption and mercy? When we stand before God to be judged someday I don’t believe that He will condemn us because we extended too much grace, cared too much, was overly tolerant and excepting of others, excessively kind and loving. However, scripture is clear that we will be judged in the manner in which we judged others and we will be held accountable for withholding justice, blessing, forgiveness and love. I prefer to error on the side of loving too much.   

                Our obligation as Christians is to live out our faith in a way that represents the love and grace of God to the world. My hope for the gay and lesbian co-workers and friends in my life is that they will reflect back on their life someday and respond, “I have experienced prejudice, hate and struggle in my life not only from strangers but from my own family. However, this Christian has always loved me, been there for me and treated me with respect”. Shouldn’t we strive to leave such an imprint and impression on people’s hearts?  

It is my personal belief that the loudest message of the Christian church should always be love for God and love for others. Unfortunately the loudest message that Flagstaff has heard from the Christian church this year is that Christians don't like gays… What has not been heard or said as loudly, is that God is in love with them and has a desire to impart life that surpasses all that this world could ever offer…our message this year whether intentional or not has been one that rejects, not moral decisions, but individuals.

-Excerpt From my friend Kris Dohse’s blog, addressed to the local churches in his community who vocally and passionately supported an anti-gay marriage ballot proposition.