Thursday, February 27, 2014

To Mend the Bridges or Burn Them Down (Addressing the Gay question. PART I)


I have brainstormed tirelessly trying to come up with some cute way to intro into this topic. Usually when I sit down to write I have already conceived some clever opening in which I can then build the whole essay around. However, this issue is too critical and pressing, there seems no painless way to ease into the subject matter. Its uncomfortable, controversial, and passionately debated, being as it is the “hot button” topic of our day. It is the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi and Transgender) people, community or lifestyle. When you throw faith into the equation, much like water and oil, cats and dogs, it seems an awkward and perhaps impossible mix. 


Can I be honest and say that I’m no expert on this topic. What follows is simply my opinions and insights gleaned from my experiences in life and faith, as well as from my friendships with gays and lesbians. All I can say for sure from my safe vantage point within the “four walls” of Christianity is that I feel uncomfortable by what I have witnessed so far in my life in regards to Christianity and its interaction with people from the LGBT community. I have heard so many sermons and read enough “religious” books and scripture to know how God feels about his creation, about justice, about mercy and grace and about treating our fellow human beings with respect. I believe that Christians have made numerous irreversible mistakes in relation to LGBT's. We have been ugly, hateful, vengeful, unmerciful, judgmental and unloving to the gay and lesbian communities. We have not represented the love and mercy of our God very well and for that I am sorry and I live my life in such a way as to make amends.  


As the nation continues to go to the polls to decide the fate of gay rights and as gay, lesbian and religious organizations draw up their battle plans, it’s easy to see that these issues are not going anywhere in the near future. I believe that Christianity finds itself in a place and time of great responsibility and opportunity to minister to the LGBT communities, however I am afraid that we are missing this incredible chance to represent the love and grace of God. I fear that many within Christianity are so focused on the cultural and political war being fought regarding “gay rights”, that we are alienating ourselves from people who deserve to be loved, respected and cared for whether we agree with their lifestyles or not. These are human beings who deserve to receive the same message of hope, redemption and forgiveness that I did. No one should be excluded from those opportunities, however I wonder if the “Vote Yes on Prop 102” signs that support banning same-sex marriage in front of our churches send them a different message.


If Christianity sincerely wishes to reach out to gays and lesbians than I believe that somehow the culture and mindset of the church and its believers will have to change. First of all, the doors of our churches must be open to all “seekers” without prejudice, expectation or judgment. It should be a safe and welcoming place where people who are foreign to the gospel and the Christian faith can “taste and see that the Lord is good”, experiencing a relationship with God at their own pace even if it take weeks, months or even years to come to faith.
As believers we need to exercise some patients towards those who are in a place of pondering questions about faith. There is this expectation that people should walk into the doors of the church and immediately make a decision whether they will accept or reject the whole “Christian package”. The whole idea that we can hold isolated “evangelistic services” that cater to outsiders and focuses on getting them saved, plugged into the church and turned from all their sins that very day is unrealistic. We have to allow space for God to reveal himself to them, while our responsibility is to patiently represent God to them with love, while assisting in nurturing their faith. In our fast paced, drive-thru, high-speed everything world, this can be challenging. But a true, enduring, mature faith takes time to cultivate.


Furthermore, I have noticed that the church often has an underlying, unspoken yet tangible sense that everyone who enters is guilty until proven innocent. The truth is that everyone is unworthy, everyone has fallen short, there is no one who is righteous, yet God patiently offers everyone His favor which we are criminally undeserving of. We must keep in mind that it is God’s spirit that convicts people of their sins and not our bullhorns, protest signs or political agendas. We need to trust God enough to do His job within the hearts and lives of people and not intervene impatiently or without love. Scripture shares an important insight into the Character of God as “patient with (us), not wishing that any should perish”. That will probably mean we are going to be a little uncomfortable at times as God deals with the real issues in people’s hearts and we are left to tolerate and witness their “symptoms”. David Kinniman writes in Unchristian, “If we allow the actions and attitudes of outsiders to shock us, we become either isolationists or crusaders, and neither extreme will have much influence on outsiders”. How true and yet tragic this statement is.


Scripture is full of brilliant, yet often ignored examples for us to follow. Take Romans 2:4 for instance; “do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” When God deals with us He is kind, tolerant and patient. Unfortunately Christians do not often display these same characteristics in their interactions with others. God tolerates our transgressions and sins, and then we turn around and are offended by the sins of others. He is patient but we are “tired of wickedness of our generation”. He is kind, but we lash out in sarcasm, anger and disgust. As Christians God constantly extends to us His grace, mercy and forgiveness as we constantly lay ruin to any sign of righteousness we might have. God does this not only out of an unfathomable love for his creation, but also as an example for us to live by.


If we as Christians are serious about loving the gay community than I plead that we drop the insensitive jokes, the untruths, misinformation and the stereotypes about homosexuals. Well we are at it, if we feel a strong conviction to fight for traditional marriage than that is fine, but let’s come up with a better argument than claiming we are “protecting the sanctity of marriage” by attempting to bar same sex marriages. We heterosexuals have done a fine enough job destroying the sacredness of marriage, trampling on its sanctity with divorce and infidelity that is just as prevalent within the church than it is in the world of “heathens”.


I consider myself blessed to have grown up in the Christian faith and church. When I think of the church what comes to mind are second rate horror movies in which people who are chased by either monsters, zombies or knife wielding psychopaths who are attempting to “hack them to pieces”, narrowly escape to the refuge of some peaceful, gothic looking church. Perhaps a better example is the far too familiar scenes from CNN following terrible storms and hurricanes, in which displaced families huddled together in the safety of a churches holy sanctuary, which has become a Red Cross evacuation center.


Too often Christian people who have “come out” have quickly been shown the door or have been shunned in shame by their old friends who simply didn’t know how to respond. Something seems terribly wrong when people are sent packing from a supposed loving, caring, community of believers. As the church opens its doors to victims of natural disasters, I believe it should also open its doors to all people who are in need spiritually. What better place for people to be than in the house of a loving, caring God where redemption and healing take place.


TO BE CONTINUED... 


“Love covers over a multitude of sins”


1 Peter 4:8

 
“Christians are primarily perceived for what they stand against. We have become famous for what we oppose, rather than who we are for”.


David Kinniman

 

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