Friday, December 18, 2009

Faith like an elf

As far as movie genres go, the holiday classics perhaps more than any other have much to say about life, especially when it pertains to spiritual matters. It’s a Wonderful Life for instance, sets out to show us just how intricately interlaced and important our lives are in relation to one another. Through Ralphie, A Christmas Story encourages us to pursue our hopes and dreams despite circumstances or the discouragement of others. The numerous versions of Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol warn us against cold-heartedness, greed and misplaced priorities. And finally, A Charlie Brown Christmas puts the whole materialistic and consumer crazy season into the proper perspective.

Another movie that looks to creep onto the holiday classic list is Elf. It is the story of Buddy (Will Farrell) who upon finding out as an adult that he is not an elf but a human, (despite the rather obvious clues) decides to return to New York City in search of his true identity.
Early in the movie the elf that has raised Buddy informs him that Christmas spirit is waning because less and less people believe in Santa. Buddy responds quite befuddled, “What? Who do they think puts all the toys under the tree? The elf replies, “there are rumors floating around that the parents do it”. To which buddy retorts with certainty, “that’s ridiculous! I mean parents couldn’t do ALL that in one night. What about Santa’s cookies? I suppose the parents eat them too!?” Here Buddy has turned the age-old arguments against the existence of Santa against itself, while wonderfully exemplifying the childlike faith, wonder and innocence it takes to believe in the jolly old Saint.

Countless theologians, writers and preachers over thousands of years have undertaken the task of explaining what it might look like to obey Jesus’ instruction to have faith like a child. Although I find myself a bit hesitant to apply the sacred to a Will Ferrell character, this is kind of what I imagine childlike faith to resemble.

Jesus used children to illustrate to us what genuine trust, faith and hope can look like without all of the hang-ups and hurts that plague adults. Jesus command to have a childlike faith wasn’t a trivial or a simple request. In fact, I would argue that there is not a single discipline that Jesus instituted that is easier than another to obey or inaugurate into our lives, they all require a great amount of faith, deliberation, sacrifice, devotion and obedience. Nevertheless, child-like expectancy, excitement, wonder, dependence and freshness are imperative to our spiritual lives.


Sure, we might have faith, but the faith we have comes with stipulations. We know how to work the “religious systems” to fit our needs and you can be certain that we will walk away if we aren’t satisfied with the results. And our version of faith can be very rude, inconsiderate, hurtful, demanding, competitive, and angry, in short, it can be very adult.
In a sense, all of our life experience and, as the lyricist Aaron Weiss put it in song, “the things we think we know”, handicaps our faith in God. Slowly the sense of amazement at those Sunday school stories of our youth is replaced with skepticism and doubt as we simply rationalize them into being something more symbolic than anything else.


So here we have the example of eager to please Buddy, with his childlike innocence and wide-eyed with wonder enthusiasm and passion for life. He faithfully believes in Santa, adamantly defends Christmas and makes a point to expose any imposters. He believes in Santa because he has seen him, spent time with him and he knows him personally. In Buddy’s world no other reality exists besides the Santa reality. How nice it would be to somehow operate this way within my own life, where the God reality is the only reality. However, it is only possible if we are willing to go through the painful process of shedding all the extra weight associated with our “mature” faith and humbly become like a child.

Buddy’s character challenges my oftentimes uninspired and lifeless faith with how unnaturally joyous and happy he is all the time even in the face of hardened New Yorkers. The truth is that we are missing a substantial ingredient to our spiritual lives if we don’t have a childlike joy. I’m not talking about a naïve, “ignorance is bliss” happiness, but a true joy at the knowledge of who God is and what he has done for us. Our faith may give us hope, strength and aid us through this life, but do we delight in it?

In scripture, King David has a moment of childlike joy and excitement as he casts his inhibitions (and most of his clothing) aside to dance before the ark as it was returned to Israel. When his wife Michal sees him making a fool of himself she becomes furious with embarrassment and ridicules him when he returns from his joyous rumpus. I humbly admit that my actions in this scenario are more likely to resemble that of Michal’s than that of David’s.

In fact, when it comes to my spiritual life, I find that I relate to Buddy’s skeptical father who is horrified that he is going to be embarrassed by his high-spirited, long lost son. Sure, I suppose we all have to come to terms with being ridiculed for our faith in God. I realize that, in the opinion of many, such faith is as outlandish as an adult who still believes in Santa Clause. Eventually were expected to grow older, experience the cold, harsh realities of this world and put to bed such ridiculous ideas as Reindeer, Easter Bunnies and Jesus.

When considering the significance that Jesus placed upon having a childlike faith, I find it interesting that we demean certain actions or characteristics in other people as childish. Perhaps it is out of our own envy that we make such brash judgments. The truth is we live in a world that demands us to “grow-up”, “be a man” and “stop kidding around” when in reality we might just be touching the surface of truly understanding our faith.

The greatest tragedy of all is if we allow ourselves to lose that spirit of wonder and awe at the incredible works of God. Perhaps this is the greatest lesson to be learned from the film. Despite all of the ridicule, discouragement and negativity cast at Buddy, he still manages to maintain his faith in not only people, but also the spirit of Christmas itself.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

SOMETHING WE CAN"T BE

I confess to a tendency of being a bit critical, cynical and even unfair at times when I analyze (call it “judge” if you like) how the Sunday morning Christian church represents themselves through preaching, music, tithes, announcements, skits, dramas, etc. Sometimes that cynicism can be constructive and at other times it is neither productive nor beneficial in the least, it merely fuels my own self-righteousness (not a good thing!).

So recently during the praise and worship portion of the church service, the lyrics “a thousand times I have failed” caught my attention. I immediately began contemplating the dynamics of failure in relation to my spiritual life. That is until the very next song began with a similarly themed verse of “all my fears and failures”, at which point I quickly sat down, grabbed a pen and jotted down this “coincidence” for later deliberation.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the heart of the songwriters, obviously it is quite true that we have all “fallen short of the glory of God”. We also know God to be gracious, sympathetic and forgiving, in whom we can openly confess our struggles (sins) without the burden of guilt or condemnation.

Furthermore, I cannot neglect the fact that Christianity has admirably made strides towards becoming more honest and transparent, abandoning the façade of holiness and hypocrisy that so often identifies us. And I don’t mean to undue any of that here nor do I beckon a return to such a destructive “fairy-tale” version of spiritual living.

However, there is a danger to the health and well-being of our faith when we get hung up on such self-critical, self-labeling and condemning thoughts of being failures. And I have been there, fruitlessly despairing over my transgressions within my spiritual life and relationship with God. Sadly, I don’t believe my experience is an isolated incident, but is a common hindrance to the spiritual growth of many.

I am not suggesting that we stop singing our songs of repentance, which I love actually, however we cannot continue to remain in such a place of mourning over and reflecting upon our past sins. The word failure references something that has happened in our past and God is more concerned with our present and our future. We need to forgive ourselves (because God has already forgiven us) and move on.

In his book Velvet Elvis, Rob Bell recounts a conversation he had over lunch with a new follower of Jesus who laments about his struggles with sin and his continual failures. Rob assessed that “becoming a Christian had given him all sorts of things to feel guilty about. I wondered if becoming a Christian had made his life not better but actually worse.” And this is what I don’t want to see happening to people, the message of the Gospels is supposedly “good news” after all.

It is finding the positive in a fallen world as C.S. Lewis did in writing that “we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven”. Thus, since our failures are forgiven, then they are gone, no longer an embarrassing stain that wrecks havoc on our self-conscious. We cannot be defined by something that has been removed. Can you be a failure when God no longer recognizes the failings? Somewhere, somehow people are not getting this message or they are hearing the wrong message entirely.

I am concerned with the message because the truth is that we can only fail when we are striving towards something or when we try to live up to some unrealistic expectations that we have placed upon ourselves. Spiritual holiness and perfection cannot be earned or attained neither by our own good deeds nor by our obedience to some spiritual rites. As Philip Yancey so beautifully wrote, “Grace comes from the outside, as a gift and not an achievement.”

The Scriptures tell us “there is no one righteous” not as a word of condemnation, but as a message of freedom. It is a truth in which we are to exist and reside within. We need to come to peace with this in our heavily competitive and self-reliant culture, because despite our very best efforts we will never stack up, we will only find ourselves exhausted and burned out. When Jesus offered all those who were “weary and burdened to come to him to find rest”, he was speaking to a religious culture that strived tirelessly to please God through good works and obedience to the law. Instead of striving to earn our “gold stars”, we must consciously choose to live within the undeserved, unearned favor of God.

If our motivation to do good works is simply to please God and to earn his love and acceptance, then we are striving for something we already possess. To again quote Rob Bell, “There is this person who we already are in God’s eyes and we are learning to live like it is true…God is not interested in shaming people. God wants people to see who they really are.”

And we are people who have been “Justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Through Jesus, God has done his part to redeem everyone, and I mean EVERYONE on the planet, our response is to come to terms with that and live like we believe it is true. Living such good lives, obeying His instruction because of our gratefulness for what he has done and for the freedom we have been given.

And yet, the pious will continue to self-righteously bring before God their resume of “glowing marks” and outstanding accomplishments, ignoring the fact that scripture calls those acts “filthy rags”. We cannot hope to impress God by any actions of our own, after all He is our creator and upon finishing his great masterpiece declared it good. It is completely arrogant for anyone to truly believe that they could impress the maker of the planets, stars, sun and moon. As scripture points out, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” (NLT)

Now all this talk of living free of guilt and shame when we accept Gods free gifts of salvation and grace are wonderfully poignant but in the reality of our lives it is a painstakingly difficult idea to grasp or live out. Truth is, that in all areas of society we are governed by certain rules that convey to us, whether audibly or not, that we must earn respect, raises, good grades, trust, love, credit, etc. As we learn from an early age, “there is no such thing as a free lunch”. Growing up in such an atmosphere makes it difficult for us to accept God’s grace without any strings attached.

Scripture tells us “without faith it is impossible to please God”. I would argue that those who strive to please God have in actuality little, to no faith at all. They have no faith that He is in control, that he has forgiven them, that he cares for them and that his grace is enough. Perhaps to appease their own guilty conscience, they strive for the approval of God, however, being faithless they toil and labor in vain. In effect their actions and good works give witness to their unbelief.

The thing that struck me the most about the God that Mack encountered in last years ever-popular book The Shack was a God who, being omniscient, had no need to place any expectations upon His beloved creation. In the book, God explains to Mack that because He does not place any expectations upon us, we therefore never disappoint Him. I don’t know about you, but from where I’ve been within the “church world” the idea that we never disappoint God is revolutionary. Such a truth should free us from all of our fruitless striving to please God and allow us to instead live truly fulfilling spiritual lives.

It is only out of such knowledge as this that we can actually desire to live and succeed in living holy lives, knowing that if we stumble somewhere along the way that we haven’t disappointed God. The point of living our lives at a higher standard isn’t to please God, which we have already established we cannot do, but simply because it is a healthier way to live this life.

Every one of us can relate to the terrible sting, stigma and struggles caused by failure in our lives, whether it has attached itself to a marriage, job, business, friendship, ministry or whatever. The possibility of failure is the cause of many detours and delays in our lives as we are paralyzed by fear and worry.

Yet, there remains one area of our lives we are afforded freedom from the weight of doubt, fear and guilt associated with failure and that place is in our relationship with God. He gives us everything we need for life and life abundantly without our having to strive to earn it. It’s a win, win situation really…how could we fail?

Friday, October 23, 2009

This Frightening Faith (A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL)







Considering the current economic crisis and the whispers of “CHANGE”, which is always a bit of a scary proposition, the chill in the air may have less to do with the changing of seasons and more to do with the current atmosphere of uncertainty, worry and fear surrounding many people these days.

In the “last days”, the Apostle Paul warns believers of “terrible times” characterized by people being lovers of themselves, proud, abusive, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, treacherous and conceited. Interestingly enough, Paul’s descriptive caution doesn’t immediately bring to my mind the “godless heathens”, with their “hidden-agendas”, as much as it does those within Christendom today that irresponsibly spew their “poison” over the airwaves of radio, through the intoxicating glow of the television and within the print of those best-selling books on our nightstands.


It seems an especially appropriate description as Paul speaks of them “worming their way into the homes of weak willed woman”, sounding eerily reminiscent of those televangelists who target the elderly.

I suggest we evaluate the happenings within the “four-walls” of Christendom, before we go pointing out the “speck in the eye” of the world around us, blaming them for all that ails this country.

Forgive me for sounding so harsh but I have a hard time equating some of the “religious elite” representing my faith, with the gracious, peacemaking, enemy loving people Jesus commanded us to be. There is no need to name those who irk me with their misrepresentations of Christ’s unfailing love, because as Jesus instructed “you will know them by their fruit”. Their character easily betrays them as the “wolves in sheep’s clothing” that we have been forewarned about.

Some will counter that this is such a small minority of so-called Christians, but in my opinion it isn’t small enough. This little contingent of “religious fanatics” is stirring up a considerable amount of “grass roots” fervor, if not trouble, that perpetrates fear and worry in good people; perhaps someone has forwarded you one of their emails.

Perhaps even more shocking and distressing is that some of this “nonsense” is originating from Christian organizations of great respect, influence and power. It makes me wonder why such groups would involve themselves in the “mudslinging” and slandering of politics when they could use their incredible amount of influence to humbly represent Jesus to this culture.

The truth is that fear is an incredibly tempting tool that offers a considerable amount of power and control. Though we’d like to believe they are motivated by something a little more Godly, don’t think for a minute that Christian radio and television programs, magazines and publishing companies aren’t concerned with ratings and revenue. Such talk of conspiracies that conjures up fear and hysteria is all wrapped up in dollar signs too enticing for some to ignore. Not everything with the “Christian stamp” on it is Gospel or beneficial, we must be discerning like the ancient Bereans who critically examined everything preached to them to test whether it stood up to scripture.

Along with this “media barrage” of manipulation and fear comes talk of an impending persecution of Christians in America. Every disheartening news story of natural disaster and war, each passage of “liberal” legislation and every constitutional challenge to our Christen heritage in this country is spotlighted by “those in the know” as examples of our slowly eroding, “everything goes” culture which is ushering in a time of difficulty for the Christian.

Writer and radical Russ Belville’s “Christian Persecution Complex” is a hilarious, often irreverent and convicting article regarding portions of Christianity that see everything as a conspiracy in which the rest of non-Christian America is constantly declaring war with their way of life in attempts to subjugate them.

Along those lines is Susan E. Isaacs insightful and entertaining memoir Angry Conversations with God, which recounts a “pep-talk” given at her Christian school on last day of sixth grade that warned “next year you’re off to public school where they‘ll persecute you because you love Jesus”. To which she responded in alarm, “you mean they’ll try to kill us?” Such an innocent and yet astute observation from a child puts some of our outlandish claims of wrongdoing in perspective. Is the world really trying to kill us or are we being overly paranoid? Are we simply throwing fits because we didn’t get our way?

Given the current climate of Christianity and its often-hostile interactions with the world around, could it be that Paul’s warnings of “terrible times” will be set into motion by the “Pharisees” of our day and not the world around us, as we have always feared?

What I am referring to are those religious extremists within the militant Pro-Life groups that deliver a “black-eye” to not only the Pro-Life movement, but also Christianity with their anger, hatred, threats and deplorable acts of violence.

I am also alluding to those protesters forever seared into our consciousness carrying incomprehensible and frighteningly hateful anti-gay picket signs that read “Matthew Sheperd is in HELL!” and “God hates FAGS!” (My personal favorite however is one that reads “GOD HATES SIGNS!”).

Not to be outdone are those “talking heads” within Christendom that leave behind a wake of embarrassing and often offensive sound-bits that arrogantly explain God’s purposes for 9/11 and hurricane Katrina, which they later recant and apologize for.

We had a pastor make the news here in Arizona recently for preaching a sermon titled “Why I hate Barack Obama”. He stated in subsequent interviews that he prays every night for Obama’s death so that he will go to hell!”

Meanwhile, in Illinois a group of Christians are rallying together to smear and discredit the professionalism of Hemant Mehta, (author of I sold My Soul on E-Bay) in hopes he will lose his position as a schoolteacher, because he nightlife’s as an atheist blogger. (When this happens to us we call it persecution, when we “do unto others” it is called defending our religious freedoms).

Are we not partially responsible for contributing to the mindset of Christianities detractors? When you consider such “noise” from Christianity, who can blame the “outside” world for their suspicions, fears and defensiveness towards Christianity.

As often as we (Christians) get it wrong, I don’t want to overshadow the many who get it so beautifully right. It may matter little however, because “The world is using our most irate voices to define us” (Mark Steele Christianish).

And we are supposed to be the peacemakers. As the Apostle Paul admonishes, “bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse…be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Oh, how I long to see more of this put into action.

Yet, we often forget the sacredness and humanity of those around us, be it friend or foe, in the eyes of God. Scripture states, “we curse men, who are made in God’s likeness”. If we are indeed created in God’s image, than to curse another is akin to cursing God. Explaining why Jesus was so adamant in his warnings against calling another a “fool”. Which convicts me of my attitudes towards certain co-workers, politicians and evangelicals,

If it were possible to pinpoint the “enemies” of Christianity (which some inexplicably find it their calling to do) than in the very least, according to the teachings of Jesus, we would have identify those who we are to love, serve and extend grace too. Perhaps in that way we will “heap burning coals on their heads” instead of fuel their fires. We are called to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry after all.

To be honest times are a bit dark and scary, but as those who claim to have faith in Jesus we have “not been given a spirit of fear”. We shouldn’t recoil in panic or act out in anger at the “godlessness” around us; our response should be that of love and forgiveness. John the Evangelist beautifully writes, “let us not love with words or tongue but with action and truth”. The unfortunate reality is that no matter the sincerity of our words and testimony, they are being made irrelevant at the hands of these small factions of so-called “Christians”. The world around us will have to come to know whom we represent by our tangible acts of love.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

No Guarantees or Promises

Already incredibly blessed by the birth of our daughter Grace, My wife and I “decided” shortly thereafter that it was time for a little brother or sister. However, as the pages on the calendar continued to turn months into years we had become that “heartbreaking story” of a young couple that couldn’t conceive. I reluctantly put on a brave face feebly masquerading as a strong pillar on which my heartbroken wife could lean upon. Meanwhile, she bravely bore the discouragement and despair whether she was fielding phone calls from friends who “just called to share their good news” or while simply opening those colorful baby shower invitations at the mailbox.

There is a feeling of helplessness being at the mercy of nature and God without having much input into the matter. It is especially frustrating when friends, family and even teenagers all around you are getting pregnant either incredibly easily or by accident, like “oops, we didn’t mean for that to happen?” Yeah, as if they didn’t know anything about how this whole thing happens. I worked with one guy who had three little girls in the time we were simply hoping for one (too much to ask?) who joked that he had to be careful how he looked at his wife. I felt little sympathy for him.

Finally, after tossing out our fair share of negative pregnancy tests into the wastebasket (obviously failing pregnancy tests isn’t very “Green”), we got a faint blue line. Of course my wife was pretty ecstatic, whereas I remained emotionally guarded, figuring there was a possibility that it could be a mistake and considering our continual heartbreak, I wasn’t going to allow what little hope I had remaining to be extinguished.

As each day followed that blue line that had remained “allusive” for so long became stronger and brighter. My wife literally danced around me while I sadly continued to give a half smile with fingers crossed in hopes of evading any “bad news”. I found it extremely difficult to simply let go and trust that this was for real without the fear that the rug might be pulled out from beneath us.

Fortunately for the sake of my sanity the pregnancy continues to progress normally (“we will have a boy in October). Through those first few weeks and months of the pregnancy the reoccurring spiritual theme for me was trust. In fact, I could hear the ghosts from churches past echoing in my ears the refrain, “trust God and everything will be okay”, or the more sinister, accusing and guilt infused “don’t you trust God?”

I do trust God, Yes, but I am aware of the realities of life. Good Christian people who trust in God suffer tragedy and lose at the same rate as the “heathens” all around us. As witness by my physical and emotional bruises, scabs and scars that I have endured throughout my lifetime, trust and faith in God is not a cure all, guarantee of protection against ever being hurt or let down. Yeah, I trust a good God, a God who nonetheless allows tragedy, death, sickness and sadness to befall his children.

It is easy for us to say we trust God when life is rolling along smoothly while we testify to Gods goodness and shout “hallelujahs” in church, but how about those times when we are harvesting nothing but lemons? Job, a man who suffered more than any of us can imagine, made one of the greatest statements on the subject, saying, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” So trusting in God for me means being willing and prepared to accept “trouble” with hope place firmly in His promises that He will see me through.

Sure, I could “trust” God more, exercising my “spiritual muscles” with extra time spent in prayer and perhaps fast from food for a period of time, but that won’t necessarily ensure anything or change the will of God for my life. It may simply strengthen my faith in preparation of enduring life’s disappointments and lose (Yippee!). Contrary to what many people believe and teach, the amount and strength of ones faith is not a gauge in which God delves out rewards and punishments.

Those who offer the suffering, doubting or hopeless soul a simple “you just have to trust God!” as encouragement must have forgotten the examples of those who throughout scripture wholeheartedly trusted in God like Job, Joseph, King David, The Apostle Paul and even Jesus. Each one surrendered their full trust to God and yet still experienced brutal trials and tribulation throughout their lifetimes. The silver lining on this particularly “depressing” example is that in the end all of them were blessed because they endured and remained true to their faith.

When we pray “thy will be done”, we are often in a way, naively releasing things into the hands and control of a God who never promised to protect us from all the difficulties of life but a God “who in all things works for the of those who love Him”. I have heard that quoted countless times after the passing of close friends and family as sort of a mantra of comfort. I cling to that promise tightly, in some cases still awaiting those promised results.

Scripture instructs us to “trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding”. The underlining current of this statement is that life, more often than not, will refuse our demands that it make any sort of sense. Which, upon pondering further simply says to me “This is going to hurt a bit”.

Can we trust God? Well, look at his track record for yourself. However, a better question may be do we trust that God has our best interests at heart? I trust in a God whose “ways are not my ways”, A God that asks us to trust Him as He calls us to step out of the boat and walk to Him, who waits two days too long before visiting a loved one on their death bed and who sleeps comfortably while we weather the torrential storms on the sea. Often times we need a graceful reminder that He does indeed have our best interests at heart especially when that conclusion is clouded by the lose of a job, the failing health of a loved one, a deteriorating relationship and seemingly unfulfilled and unattainable desires or dreams.

Although appearing to be a bit of a “sacrilegious” quote, I can understand the feelings behind author Samuel Butler saying, “to put one's trust in God is only a longer way of saying that one will chance it”. Sometimes it does feel that way doesn’t it? Most certainly the act of placing ones trust in God should be done with much consideration and weighting of the cost. It isn’t for the half-hearted of fair-weather soul. As Brennan Manning put it in his book Ruthless Trust, “Unwavering trust is a rare and precious thing because it often demands a degree of courage that borders on the heroic…it requires heroic courage to trust in the love of God no matter what happens to us.” Although it may often seem as if we are “rolling the dice” when we place our complete trust in God, He will continually prove His trustworthiness as we courageously place our trust in Him.

The topic of trust brings to mind the chaotic Hollywood movie chase scenes in which the driver turns to his passenger who is cowering in his seat with white knuckles and says “trust me, I know what I am doing”, as he recklessly crashes through fruit stands and runs red lights while narrowly missing innocent pedestrians.

So with a wild-eyed expression on my face and white knuckles gripped tightly to my seat I continue to trust God as He navigates me through this life. I truly believe that He has my best interests at heart and that He is concerned with the smallest details of my life, however, as Mother Teresa was famous for saying “I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Independence: What a Beautiful Snare

Through my relationship with my daughter I get glimpses into my own relationship with God, which often reveals the current condition of my spiritual life. That being said, I’m not bragging, more than I am confessing when I tell you that my daughter can be pretty headstrong and independent. She regularly insists on doing things on her own, forcing me to painfully watch as she struggles to button a jacket, fasten a pair of shoes or pour a glass of milk. The innocence of which I will take over the impending, dreaded teenager years when she will undoubtedly insist on doing EVERYTHING on her own. For now my daughters actions and attitude seems to be her subtle statement of rebellion that says, “The world DOES revolve around five-year-olds!”

I have been thinking a lot about Adam lately. The way I always imagined it, whether you believe the Biblical accounts of the creation story are to be taken literally of figuratively, the Garden of Eden was a virtual paradise that left Adam wanting for nothing. I don’t know about you, but I always thought of Eden as being Heaven on earth with a similar “No more tears, pain or death” policy. A place in which Adam enjoyed the very real physical presences of God who regularly joined him for a stroll through that unimaginably magnificent place, their relationship untainted by the impending “fall” (that whole “forbidden fruit” controversy). Who wouldn’t be a bit envious of Adams situation who had the luxury of laying his head down peacefully at night without those unanswerable questions that plague so many of us with doubt, uncertainty and fear.

Until recently I had somehow overlooked an interesting and thought provoking angle to this story. You see despite what I had always believed about Adams seemingly perfect existence in which he was sustained both physically and spiritually by the very presences of God, the scriptures reveal an underlying longing and an incompleteness of which he couldn’t express or understand. God, His very nature being loving and gracious, aware all of His creations yearnings and desires understood that Adams particular need was for companionship. In fact, in the creation process God wired him in such a way that he would long for the companionship of others. It was His design.

Though God had given man the earth in all of its glory and the infinity of the heavens above that dances with the light of planets and stars, He saved his most precious gift for last; relationships. From that point forward God instituted a peculiar new math in which “two become one” in a relationship of dependence on one another. This idea expressed beautifully by the illustration of two separate threads joining together to become one strong piece of string. Sadly, throughout history humanity has gotten itself tangled up in an ugly mess of disagreements, unforgiveness, prejudice, exploitation and eventual war. However, God intended so much more for relationships.

Not to get all John Lennon, “give peace a chance” on you, but this whole idea of Adam, his loneliness and Gods gift of companionship tells me that God does not intend for humanity to do this life alone. As important as our reliance on God is, we are also meant to depend on the fellowship and support of one another. In fact the scriptures constantly implores us to “encourage one another”, “bare one another’s burdens”, rejoice and mourn with one another. In fact the early church beautifully exemplified a communal faith as they met together daily to eat, fellowship and pray with one heart and one mind. There was a selfless attitude amongst them as everyone shared what they had so that no one was in need. They lived in such a way that followers of Jesus should strive for today. (Sorry, I did get ALL Lennon and Yoko on you after all!)

So, the question I pose is this, if we were not created to do life alone, than why do we continually insist on doing all of lives little subsections, consisting of our spiritual, romantic, financial, and childrearing lives, alone? The truth is that very rarely does anything good come from someone venturing out on their own, if you have ever watched Lost or listened to the members of the Beatles (or the Stones) solo work you know this to be true.

I am not so sure that our spiritual, nor any other part of our lives for that matter, can meet it’s full, God-intended, potential by way of our own efforts. No matter the hard work and determination we put forth to accomplish it, we are still short the full compliments of people who are on a similar journey that are able to encourage us. I believe that we grow, strengthen and learn as we celebrate the blessings and trials of our faith with others. Our growth in all areas of our lives is dependent on our relationships. As Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy put it in an interview “there’s certain things in this world you can’t do alone and they’re usually important things.” Tragically marriages crumble, alcoholics relapse, believers lose faith and single parents burn out when attempting to navigate through this life on their own.

My former pastor, now simply a friend, is passionate about His relationship with God and often fasts, or gives up food for periods of time (up to forty days on several occasions) to meditate, pray and rekindle his inner spiritual desperation. However, he told me that the most difficult thing he had ever done spiritually was purposely secluding himself in a room with no books, music or anything else except for some water for three days, his purpose being to seek God without any outside influences or distractions. To me, this is mere evidence that we were not meant to be alone. Anything beyond a few days of seclusion and we begin holding conversations with Wilson volleyballs.

The topic of loneliness reminds me of a scene in Judd Apatow’s most recent movie, Funny People, in which Adam Sandler’s character, upon finding that he is cancer free, returns home excitedly to his empty mansion (save for a gardener, pool man and housekeeper) dying to share his good news with someone, anyone who will listen. However, having alienated himself from his family and not have any real friends, he walks into the dining area where his Hispanic housekeeper is tidying up and awkwardly attempts to explain to her that he isn’t sick anymore to which she nods with a smile before responding “I clean the stain in the pants for you”. A painful scene to watch that beautifully illustrates our need for the shared company of others.

Sure, on occasions we all need to get alone and recollect our thoughts, however, stay in that place too long (especially with the curtains drawn while listening to REM’s “Everybody hurts”) and you will need a caring friend to drag you from that funk. I have thrown my own depressing little pity-parties and thankfully, friends or my wife have sensed it and graciously barged in saying, “hey…is that Radiohead your listening to? Well, turn that off, open those shades, take a shower and lets go get some dinner!”

From the beginning of time humanity inquires in arrogance “where is God?” blind to his presences all around in the caring actions of those he has strategically placed within our lives to help guide, carry, instruct and encourage us. Within our relationships and friendships can be found evidence of a divine existence.

We are a proud people to be sure. We build towers to the heavens to find God on our own, we stubbornly wander through deserts to find the promise land on our own, and we greedily hoard the manna, whether that represents monetary resources or spiritual blessings, to provide for our own needs. Too often we resemble a five-year-old child who tells those who graciously offer their assistance that “I can do it by myself!” A statement that almost always precedes failure.

Whatever we are facing in our lives, God has placed someone there who can be a blessing to us. Utilize those gifts God has given you, don’t do life alone!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

TO BE UNHOL(E)Y

When it comes to gauging pain I am the wrong person to ask. As someone who has never broken a bone, been beaten up (let alone been in a physical fight) or had more than a couple stitches, a recent case of food poisoning was probably the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. I couldn’t help but feel ashamed as I laid in bed writhing in pain as I thought about my wife bravely enduring child birth, my many friends and family members who have heroically conquered cancer and my grandfather who survived executions and extreme frigid temperatures, while sacrificing his legs and fingers in the Korean War. I’m pathetic I know, but according to my personal pain scale this food poisoning tore me up. So as I lay in bed at pains mercy without my usual distractions of YouTube, Facebook, movies, books and music to comfort me, all I could do was pray to God for relief.

I have a friend who, by all appearances, was happily married, had a beautiful daughter, enjoy her job and attended church regularly. However, as the years passed, unbeknownst to many of her friends, her marriage was deteriorating, her job was no longer fulfilling and her faith was simply superficial. Exhaustion and desperation finished off what was left of her strength and stability, which had been such assets of hers for so many years, however, from that place of brokenness new life began springing forth from that cracked and dry desert. She became much more honest about her life, humbly confessing her part in the faltering marriage while also speaking of her faith in real, genuine ways that I had never heard before.

I was reading Don Miller’s “Searching for God Knows What” the other day where he talked about Jesus and his message being unappealing to most everyone and that those who actually chose to follow him where the “oppressed, marginalized and the desperate”. Suddenly my experience of “suffering” from food poisoning and my friend watching the mirage of a happy life fade away spoke to me. I began to see that because of our dire circumstances we were both transported to places of desperation. I am beginning to understand that it is in such dark and lonely places that we can hear the desperate cries of our soul as it grasps for hope.

I have heard “religious types” say that every human soul has a God-shaped hole in it that we attempt to fill with everything imaginable from sex, money, drugs, friends, etc, and although such “junk” might satisfy for a time, only God can truly fulfill our souls longing. I don’t know how accurate that illustration is, but I have been around long enough to see that everyone of us has an ingrained longing, yearning and hunger for something more meaningful than this world has to offer. However, it is so much easier for us to turn up the music and keep ourselves distracted from the discontent of our souls than to completely surrender our lives to following and living out the message of Jesus.

The further I thought about this the more I realized that everything in our culture is geared around our finding pleasure, comfort and happiness with the sole purpose of silencing our disquieted souls. This morning for example, I woke up, put on a comfortable 100% cotton Hanes t-shirt, poured myself a cup of coffee and because I didn’t feel like cooking, had some Instant oatmeal. Later that afternoon I got bored of flipping through the hundreds of channels at my disposal and rummaging through the Internet in all of its glory, so I decided to jump in the car and head over to the mall to pick up those wonderfully comfortable Gel inserts for my shoes. Being worn out from all the shopping, I got a massage next to the Cell phone Kiosk where I later drooled over the newest phones.

My point is our culture has wired us to constantly seek pleasure and comfort. Heck, the Declaration of Independence tells us that we have a right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” and so we have bought into that idea, pursuing happiness no matter the cost, whether we lose family or friends striving to achieve it. We are people who constantly seek “noise” to drown out those cries of desperation from within our souls.

Sadly, the church is not immune to this problem either. Sunday mornings I often look around fearing whether we are just going through some religious motions, numb to the discontent of our souls. I admit to being among the many who have tirelessly pursued a calendar full of church activities, programs, classes and responsibilities to appease our guilty consciences. However, such religiousness is a poor substitute for the fulfilling spiritual life God intends for us.

In the scriptures, as in life, those who found it most difficult to accept the message of Jesus were those who had everything to lose. For instance, the rich young ruler who came to Jesus seeking justification yet walked away sorrowfully after he was challenged to forsake all of his comforts and the religious leaders who opposed the message of Jesus because it threatened their status of honor and admiration among the people. The comfort, success and privilege that both the wealthy young man and the religious elite enjoyed was their distraction from the nagging emptiness within.

On the other hand, it’s no wonder that those who sacrificed so much and risked ridicule to follow Jesus were the oppressed and broken people with absolutely nothing to lose. The disciples that Jesus would entrust to carry on Gods message of Love, salvation and grace were a cast of characters working in unfulfilling, unglamorous dead end jobs. Others who put their faith in Jesus included fathers whose children were at deaths door, a woman who had exhausted all her resources to find a cure for her sickness and a tax collector who was not only small in stature, but was also despised by those around him. Jesus followers were definitely a rag-tag bunch of social and religious misfits.

Although it may go against my entire nature I want to fall into this second group consisting of desperate people. The truth is that everyone is already there to begin with and we can either accept that fact and turn to God to be our strength and hope, or we can choose to strive, fight and claw our way to some “artificial” happiness that looks good on television and sells lots of magazines but will ultimately leave us empty and tired.

While I’d prefer to medicate it away or simply ignore it, there is something spiritual to be gleaned from life’s aches, pains, troubles and tribulations being that it is a tangible reminder of my humanity and also my mortality. Though it may not make much sense to this culture, every once in awhile I got to skip a meal or say no to something I’d rather be doing. It’s necessary if I wish to be desperate and not quench that thirst for spiritual things that matter most in life.

Some call it a crutch or a weakness to turn to God in moments of trouble, pain, uncertainty and fear, but where else should we turn? God himself instructs us to “call on me when you are in trouble”. Whereas, the Apostle Paul boasted in his frailties saying, “that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Our culture may glorify in the strength, courage, independence, and knowledge of humanity, however God celebrates in His humble, meek, reliant, sincere, and faithful servants.

It’s true that it shouldn’t take tragedy, discomfort, sickness, loneliness or complete desperation until we finally seek God. That is my point really, it shouldn’t take our world getting “rocked” for us to get serious about our spiritual lives, but more often than not it does take such extremes before we open our eyes to that reality.

So we can continue going to our churches and subscribe to all the “fluff” about Jesus (believing that he presented great moral teachings and basically cash in our “Insurance” when we die so we can go to heaven) right along with our Netflix and Entertainment Weekly but what we really need is a desperation for real spiritual impact in our lives. I’ll be honest, I am not desperate for God, in fact, I am not even close to being there and I have only met a few incredible people who are, but I want to be.

Occasionally we need to “turn-off” all of the distractions and allow ourselves to tune into the spiritual. Otherwise we are apt to escape into our own little worlds, jumping from one distraction to another, completely neglecting the one who offered, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Parades of the Pathetic

For the record I am a Christian, that is, I am a follower of the teachings of Jesus Christ and believe in His Resurrection. Yet, I hold much of Christianity at arms length and for the most part have removed myself from the "Christian culture". The impression Christianity gives me by the way it presents itself and the way it appears to those of us on the outside at times leaves me feeling uncomfortable and uneasy.

When I think of Christians what comes to mind are people who are living and enjoying the American dream. They are happy families with two well-behaved children, good jobs and have a middle to upper level income. Of course they attend church, which has a handsome, well-dressed pastor, his attractive and outgoing wife and of course two gifted children who themselves minister on the worship team. The members of their church are people whom are not unlike themselves who are lead in worship by someone who could easily be mistaken for a talented and sexy pop star. All of their lives seem annoyingly close to perfect, with a little hiccup here and there. Nonetheless praise reports and thanksgiving dominant the time of fellowship and after the service all of the beautiful families retreat to their vehicles in perfect harmony.

Aside from its people, the culture and business of Christianity is as wildly successful and flourishing as well. It has its mega churches, its celebrities, authors and rock stars. It has its Joel Osteen's and Rick Warren's authors of best selling books titled "Your Best Life Now" "Become a Better You" and "The Purpose Driven Life". Turn on the TV and see the Televangelists promising us better lives, healing and salvation with such passion while surrounded by their thousands of followers who pack the beautiful multimillion dollar buildings. The message that all of this sends me is "look at the great things God can do for you, look at how successful, and beautiful and happy we all are…why not join us?" Christianity is boasting how wonderful it is to "join the club" and all I can do is try not to puke.

To be honest I feel I have very little in common with "slap on the back, big smiles and praise the Lord" types. I believe, but I also have my struggles, doubts and pain, along with so many others who don't feel like this type of Christianity relates to them. Which is why for the moment I have walked away and why I am grieved, because when I look at the culture and visit some of its churches, sadly this is the Christianity I see.



Arrogant, proud, self-righteous, smug, pompous, opinionated,

dogmatic, intolerant, hypersensitive, touchy, emotional, animated and forced.



God gave us the Bible to be our guide and give us hope. It is a book that recounts the stories of blessings and triumph, Kings and wealth, bravery and honor. A book so highly respected that it sits on the nightstand of the wealthy, in the bookcase of the powerful and is in the briefcase of the important. The Bible and its words have been truth to slave owners, Presidents and oppressors. It is a sacred book that at times in history could only be read by a man or interpreted by a religious leader. It is a book for victors and champions, the strong and the brave. Basically at times it seems to be a book that is for everyone but us who are outside the four walls trying to survive.

However, in between the writings of blessing, triumph and wealth God does something that continues to touch and bless me. Almost as if he were to say, "I have not forgotten you, my poor, broken-hearted child. I have spoken to the others but now it is time for me to speak to you". And so he does.

God commands that no one should "take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry." Jesus himself blessed "the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." David in the psalms referred to God as "a Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows". Not quite the tagline to a flashy superhero but defiantly the heart of a gentle and compassionate God. Jesus tells a parable of a great banquet in which the master (who represents God) tells his servant "go out quickly to the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame." God desires the presents of the outcasts of society and so once again hope is rekindled in the heart of discouraged and downcast.

Through all the victory parades and praise reports God gently reminds the downtrodden that he is still there beside them. It is as if among all the great accounts of achievement and people of honor, He has left little tidbits of hope sprinkled throughout the gospel for those in distress as well. In a way I imagine Gods heart towards us as if He sees those with tears in their eyes and slowly he slips away from the celebration to take care of his wounded, abandon child.

Though Christianity marches on God reminds the poor, the slaves, the rejected, those who feel they have had their very souls ripped away from them that he is right there beside them and he will see them through. As the mega churches experience revival, God comforts the pastor of the rundown, forgotten church of thirty-two members. As hundreds are saved at an evangelistic crusade, God whispers hope to an elderly woman living on the streets. As the perfect family of four travels home from church on Sunday, God gives a single mother a few moments of his peace as her crying child has finally fallen to sleep.

Personally I prefer the humble and the meek. I prefer the company of those that hold onto God because he is their very last hope and not because of his blessings. I am more comfortable with those who have emotional scars and wounded hearts. I feel a kinship with those who have wondered away. We believe in God not because of his blessing but because we must, it is all we have.

I don't feel the same urgency that many do in the Christian world that God must have a place in politics and education. I don't care if He wants to concern himself with building mega churches and ministries. The only thing I am concerned with is that he is apart of my life and continues to be one of the few things that holds it all together and gives me hope.

So Christianity continues on in its grand victorious march, smiles on the follower's faces and joy in their hearts. Don't get me wrong, I do understand that in God is the victory, salvation, healing and joy but in the world I live in so many of us have a losing record. We are down more than we are up. We cry more than we laugh. We pray for miracles, for hope and for just a simple whisper to know God is still there.

Thanks to a few scattered messages to us ragamuffins, at least in my dark, stormy, doubt-filled world I can still proclaim; "God is here!"

Recycled blessings

It was a lethargic Sunday morning when I came into the living room. My roommate Micah was brewing coffee, which for him was more of a ritual than routine. I had fifteen minutes until church started which was just enough time to put on a counterfeit smile before I had to face my fellow "believers". Sure, if you don't want to go to church then don't go, but when you're the youth pastor your kinda obligated. Micah could sense from my body language that church was the last place I wanted to be today and suggested that we ditch, go get some coffee in us and walk around downtown. I was in just the mood to accept his offer.

As we rounded a corner there stood before us a beautiful, yet haunting Catholic Church that I had admired for years. The architecture of the building has a kind of gothic feel to it. There are eerie looking gargoyles placed strategically around the high walls that seem to follow you with their eyes as you pass. It is very reminiscent of the many churches that I've seen in horror movies were people flee to in search of refuge only to have bad things happen to them once inside.

The morning mass had just ended as people milled around in front of the building. Micah suggested we slip inside and check it out. As we entered, soaking up the whole atmosphere of the church, we sat on an old wooden pew in the last row in our best attempts at being inconspicuous. We only stayed for maybe five minutes half fearing that at any moment a priest would come running in frantically to throw us out, having recognizing us as imposters.
I don't know if it was because of the mystique of the building, its history, the architecture or the presents of God but those five minutes were an unexplainable spiritual experience for me. I'd like to think it was God who was there.

Over the years, in moments that I've been wrestling with my faith and myself I've returned to that mysterious and enchanting building. I stand in front peering up at the cross high above, trying to avoid the piercing eyes of the gargoyles, talking to God. Attempting to rekindle that same spiritual experience I once had here only to feel as dry and thirsty as the sun drenched ground I walk on.

Throughout my life I have found that I take my incredible personal experiences whether it is a place where I have experienced God, an adventure with friends or a magical moment with my wife and I turn them into something sacred and holy. In my memory they become hallowed moments that I hope to be able to relive over and over. However, I've found that you can return to an incredible camping spot, a magical concert, a late night conversation with a close friend or a long road trip yet the experience will never be the same nor will it ever live up to the way you want to remember it.

Yet, knowing it is futile I still peer into the rearview mirror at my life instead of gazing forward to the one stretching out before me. I continue to long for the incredible things I've already seen and done in my life whether it is visiting China, reliving the day I married, watching my daughters birth, hiking into the grand canyon or simply hearing a song for the first time. However, I run the risk of missing something life changing today if I am only focusing on the things that happened yesterday.

I do find some solace however, having come to the realization that I'm not alone. As a society we long to hold on to the glory days and rekindle a bit of the past. Perhaps for our own amusement and distraction we recycle the old satisfactions of yesterday. We long to return either physically or mentally to an experience, or moment that we hold onto as something to be cherished. For some it is the desire to hold onto their youth by covering up the wrinkles and gray hair. For others time is spent in daydreaming of an old flame and the feelings they shared. For many it is as simple as their weekly routine of worship at church or even the monotonousness of daily life. Of the many examples humanity gives us as they grasp tightly to the past, the one thing they all have in common is the refusal to let go.

At times it would appear that we yearn to relive our happiest moments and are content to continue in our dreary daily routines out of fear. Could it be that deep down inside we are terrified of a letdown? We have been hurt, disappointed, forsaken and unimpressed and as a result we only halfheartedly chase after any new dreams or experiences. We are finished with giving our hearts or at the very least our time towards something or someone that may only bear for us a fruitless or unfulfilling end.

As a result many of us choose to stay put, sitting in front of a church daring our God to show up like he once did. Well, others sit at home all alone refusing to take a chance to meet anyone new and face possible rejection. There are some who continue on in the same lifeless job or in pursuit of the same unrewarding education instead of opting for an adventure into the unknown. Sadly, out of this fear or at the very least anxiety, many people settle for the tedious life without ever truly experiencing the full potential of their spiritual and physical lives.

I personally believe in a God who delights in our wonder and excitement. Look around; I believe that a God that had a hand in all of this is not short on ideas for blowing our minds. A God who brought into being the rivers and mountains, the constellations, the creatures and all the different people surely knows a thing or two about sacred moments and experiences.

This may sound egocentric or prideful to say but I believe that God has a lot of blessings ahead for my family and I. I've yet to even scratch the surface of "spiritual" places or "sacred" things I have yet to encounter. I'm pretty sure that God has great things ahead for all of us, but we have to look with expectation to tomorrow.

I haven't gone looking for God at that enchanted Catholic Church in a long time, because although God is everywhere, he isn't there anymore. He has moved on to lead me somewhere further down the road. He won't allow me to stay in that moment and urges me to find him in the next place as he leads me. He won't allow me to stunt my spiritual growth. Just like he may be leading you to move on from a relationship, a hurt, a spiritual milestone; so you can experience what he has waiting for you. I for one don't want to miss a moment while I sit worshiping at the altars of past experiences. I want to live my life in such a way as to continue to live in the blessings.

Yeah, I will have plenty more lethargic Sunday mornings but looking back some of the hardest days end in the greatest blessing.

No, Doubt About it!

The Person who has doubts about something and then does it stands condemned because he is not true to his convictions and does not act from faith. Whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is wrong. The Apostle Paul

It is a peaceful summer morning as I sit outside of my favorite coffeehouse. The mood around me is light being that it is too early in the day for such serious conversation as the economy or politics. Most of my fellow patrons sip their morning coffee as they read the news while others make small talk over a plate of skinny pancakes. I sit in my usual spot on the porch that overlooks the whole outdoor seating area. A great place to sit and watch people come and go. My usual companions join me on this occasion, a notebook, several books and my MP3 player that is blasting some random indie band that I happen to think is cool at the moment.

As the sun gathers momentum and continues to climb in the sky, I sit with a book lying open on my lap, pages flipping in the wind while the song I was listening to has long since ended. My gaze is focused on a far off place as I am lost in one of my moments were I am taking stock of my life. I sit pondering the many questions I have about my life wondering whether what I am doing is what I should be doing and whether I am living the way I should be living.

Sure, not a groundbreaking, or mind blowing question really. Probably most of you reading this ask yourself the same question on a regular basis. "Is this what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life?" "Am I living my life the way I should be?" "should I find another job, or go back to school?" "What about all the people in need around the world and in my neighborhood, I should be doing something about that, but what?"

I don't believe these are just the questions of youth, twenty-something's or those experiencing some sort of a mid-life crisis. These are questions we continue to ask ourselves throughout our lifetime. Media, capitalism, consumerism, government, and religion in their selfishness volunteer their assistance to us by giving us their answers and telling us what they believe we should be doing. Amidst all of their “noise” only confusion, frustration and apathy are birthed within us. The doubts persist and the questions continue to swirl around us.

The quote from Paul the Apostle speaks to my situation and I feel at least gives me a point from where to start answering questions. After reading his words and reflecting upon my own life I came to the conclusion that I must build stronger personal convictions not only in the things in which I believe, but also the issues that I waiver on. This is not easy to admit but too often my convictions and beliefs are easily swayed by politics, religion or by a person with strong charisma. Sadly it's happening to many of us. We don't know if we are living the life we are supposed to because we are waiting for someone to tell us so. We don't know the next step to take until someone tells us where to go.

Throughout history religious, political and charismatic leaders have used rules, guidelines and commands to control, use and mold their followers. I have been involved in church long enough see the power of the manipulation machine for myself. I admit that when I was a leader in the church I even took part in the pulling of strings. Oh, it's easy really; you just have to have the lighting just right and the music just so.

Therefore, whether it's a message coming from politics, religion, parents or a trusted friend we should gather that information and process it critically. We need to have our own strong convictions and beliefs. We need to be confident in who we are and not rely on the acceptance of others. Then and only then will the whispers of doubt grow silent and a new confidence will arise.

Paul the Apostle was encouraging those who would hear his words to critical thinking. What I hear him saying is that despite what some my want you to believe there really are a lot of gray areas and that not everything is black and white, right or wrong. These are some very dangerous ideas that many religious leaders would rather not have you hear, but the truth is there is an awful lot of freedom given to us by God. Of course with that freedom comes responsibility. We have a responsibility to respect others convictions and beliefs. We have a responsibility to be life students and grow in our wisdom and knowledge. We have a responsibility to build for ourselves strong convictions and firm footing on which we stand.

Think critically, meditate and process everything. Ask questions and seek answers. Don't proceed until you have dealt with any doubts you may have and are confident in the answer. Doubt doesn't have to be something we view negatively or as a weakness as long as we confront our uncertainties. It is a strong beam of light that exposes the cracks and holes in who we are and what we believe. Once we begin filling those places with knowledge, experience and faith we become stronger people with secure convictions.

So how do we know we are doing what we are meant to do with our lives and living our life to it's fullest? When we live a life that abides by our convictions, beliefs and standards that God has place in us. When we know we are being true to ourselves and to the person God created us to be we are living the life we should. When doubt and fear no longer reigns over our thoughts and our lives.

If there is an area or issue in our life that harbors doubt then we know where to start. Being responsible means we don't act on something if we are unsure. Maybe that means starting with your faith and what you believe. It could possibly even mean starting with you. Whatever area of your life contains doubt begin to build confidence.

We could spend our lives sitting around coffeehouses and bars doubting, wondering and questioning our lives and actions. However, the world in its current state and situation needs people who are ready to react and respond confidently.

What that will look like for you I can't really say, I'm still working on things for myself. Yet, once we have firm convictions and beliefs maybe that will guide you to find a new roommate, take a summer break to volunteer your time to serve others, ride your bike to work to help the environment. Maybe you will stop whining about your career, job, schoolwork, family, etc and start focusing on the positives, begin writing letters to those who have power to make changes, not listen to others but decide for yourself who you will vote for.

We need to take a look at our lives and the world we live in and face those things that make us uncomfortable. It's wrong for us to keep on living like there is nothing wrong and living each day the same when we have doubts. Its time to find who we really are and what we stand for.