Through my relationship with my daughter I get glimpses into my own relationship with God, which often reveals the current condition of my spiritual life. That being said, I’m not bragging, more than I am confessing when I tell you that my daughter can be pretty headstrong and independent. She regularly insists on doing things on her own, forcing me to painfully watch as she struggles to button a jacket, fasten a pair of shoes or pour a glass of milk. The innocence of which I will take over the impending, dreaded teenager years when she will undoubtedly insist on doing EVERYTHING on her own. For now my daughters actions and attitude seems to be her subtle statement of rebellion that says, “The world DOES revolve around five-year-olds!”
I have been thinking a lot about Adam lately. The way I always imagined it, whether you believe the Biblical accounts of the creation story are to be taken literally of figuratively, the Garden of Eden was a virtual paradise that left Adam wanting for nothing. I don’t know about you, but I always thought of Eden as being Heaven on earth with a similar “No more tears, pain or death” policy. A place in which Adam enjoyed the very real physical presences of God who regularly joined him for a stroll through that unimaginably magnificent place, their relationship untainted by the impending “fall” (that whole “forbidden fruit” controversy). Who wouldn’t be a bit envious of Adams situation who had the luxury of laying his head down peacefully at night without those unanswerable questions that plague so many of us with doubt, uncertainty and fear.
Until recently I had somehow overlooked an interesting and thought provoking angle to this story. You see despite what I had always believed about Adams seemingly perfect existence in which he was sustained both physically and spiritually by the very presences of God, the scriptures reveal an underlying longing and an incompleteness of which he couldn’t express or understand. God, His very nature being loving and gracious, aware all of His creations yearnings and desires understood that Adams particular need was for companionship. In fact, in the creation process God wired him in such a way that he would long for the companionship of others. It was His design.
Though God had given man the earth in all of its glory and the infinity of the heavens above that dances with the light of planets and stars, He saved his most precious gift for last; relationships. From that point forward God instituted a peculiar new math in which “two become one” in a relationship of dependence on one another. This idea expressed beautifully by the illustration of two separate threads joining together to become one strong piece of string. Sadly, throughout history humanity has gotten itself tangled up in an ugly mess of disagreements, unforgiveness, prejudice, exploitation and eventual war. However, God intended so much more for relationships.
Not to get all John Lennon, “give peace a chance” on you, but this whole idea of Adam, his loneliness and Gods gift of companionship tells me that God does not intend for humanity to do this life alone. As important as our reliance on God is, we are also meant to depend on the fellowship and support of one another. In fact the scriptures constantly implores us to “encourage one another”, “bare one another’s burdens”, rejoice and mourn with one another. In fact the early church beautifully exemplified a communal faith as they met together daily to eat, fellowship and pray with one heart and one mind. There was a selfless attitude amongst them as everyone shared what they had so that no one was in need. They lived in such a way that followers of Jesus should strive for today. (Sorry, I did get ALL Lennon and Yoko on you after all!)
So, the question I pose is this, if we were not created to do life alone, than why do we continually insist on doing all of lives little subsections, consisting of our spiritual, romantic, financial, and childrearing lives, alone? The truth is that very rarely does anything good come from someone venturing out on their own, if you have ever watched Lost or listened to the members of the Beatles (or the Stones) solo work you know this to be true.
I am not so sure that our spiritual, nor any other part of our lives for that matter, can meet it’s full, God-intended, potential by way of our own efforts. No matter the hard work and determination we put forth to accomplish it, we are still short the full compliments of people who are on a similar journey that are able to encourage us. I believe that we grow, strengthen and learn as we celebrate the blessings and trials of our faith with others. Our growth in all areas of our lives is dependent on our relationships. As Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy put it in an interview “there’s certain things in this world you can’t do alone and they’re usually important things.” Tragically marriages crumble, alcoholics relapse, believers lose faith and single parents burn out when attempting to navigate through this life on their own.
My former pastor, now simply a friend, is passionate about His relationship with God and often fasts, or gives up food for periods of time (up to forty days on several occasions) to meditate, pray and rekindle his inner spiritual desperation. However, he told me that the most difficult thing he had ever done spiritually was purposely secluding himself in a room with no books, music or anything else except for some water for three days, his purpose being to seek God without any outside influences or distractions. To me, this is mere evidence that we were not meant to be alone. Anything beyond a few days of seclusion and we begin holding conversations with Wilson volleyballs.
The topic of loneliness reminds me of a scene in Judd Apatow’s most recent movie, Funny People, in which Adam Sandler’s character, upon finding that he is cancer free, returns home excitedly to his empty mansion (save for a gardener, pool man and housekeeper) dying to share his good news with someone, anyone who will listen. However, having alienated himself from his family and not have any real friends, he walks into the dining area where his Hispanic housekeeper is tidying up and awkwardly attempts to explain to her that he isn’t sick anymore to which she nods with a smile before responding “I clean the stain in the pants for you”. A painful scene to watch that beautifully illustrates our need for the shared company of others.
Sure, on occasions we all need to get alone and recollect our thoughts, however, stay in that place too long (especially with the curtains drawn while listening to REM’s “Everybody hurts”) and you will need a caring friend to drag you from that funk. I have thrown my own depressing little pity-parties and thankfully, friends or my wife have sensed it and graciously barged in saying, “hey…is that Radiohead your listening to? Well, turn that off, open those shades, take a shower and lets go get some dinner!”
From the beginning of time humanity inquires in arrogance “where is God?” blind to his presences all around in the caring actions of those he has strategically placed within our lives to help guide, carry, instruct and encourage us. Within our relationships and friendships can be found evidence of a divine existence.
We are a proud people to be sure. We build towers to the heavens to find God on our own, we stubbornly wander through deserts to find the promise land on our own, and we greedily hoard the manna, whether that represents monetary resources or spiritual blessings, to provide for our own needs. Too often we resemble a five-year-old child who tells those who graciously offer their assistance that “I can do it by myself!” A statement that almost always precedes failure.
Whatever we are facing in our lives, God has placed someone there who can be a blessing to us. Utilize those gifts God has given you, don’t do life alone!
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